Sharpen the Saw
by EarlyMorningWriter
Summary: For Kat Nolan the Red Flu brought a mix of good and bad. She lost her mother but found her father. She missed her old friends and family but was accepted into the Nathan James' community. As the crew prepares to bring the Nathan James downriver and spread the cure west, Kat discovers how strong she can really be. Mostly Kat/Ray. Standalone part 5 of the Seven Habits Series.
1. Chapter 1

This story is part 5 of the Seven Habits Series but can be read stand alone. It is set in St. Louis between Seasons 2 and 3. When we last left off the Nathan James knows that they need to get a special chemical stock from a pharmaceutical plant in Albuquerque. Unfortunately, that part of the US has been taken over by the Mexicali Federation. Tex has commandeered Kat's mother's computer so she's been helping with Ray's orphan group and Kara's office to keep herself busy. Debbie Foster called on an old friend of Danny's to bring her to St. Louis to be with her daughter. Michener knows that they need to act fast to regain control of the country but someone is also sending mysterious messages about his location to an unknown agent. Now you know all the major events in Be Proactive, Put First Things First, Begin With the End in Mind, and Synergize. I hope you'll enjoy this segment.

**Always Keep a Diamond in Your Mind, Solomon Burk**

Tex pulled out the laptop and set it on the hotel desk. While it booted he checked his watch. It wouldn't do for Kat to come home from whatever it was that she did until 1 AM every night and find him on the computer she wished she could use. He had asked Val if she could hook the kid up with a computer of her own and she was supposed to be getting back to him on that. Ever since he'd been back she seemed a little less enthusiastic about his interference in her life. He supposed it was to be expected. At this age, what teenage girl wanted to hang out with her dad?

The blue screen popped up and he slipped the tiny key card into place. A few seconds later he was able to log in to the secure side of the computer. As much as he'd wanted to let sleeping dogs lie, he hadn't been able to stay away from Claire's notes. He'd spent pretty much all his downtime during the long trip through the midwest reading them. She'd encrypted them, but he figured out the key on the second try. That's what happened when your life had been entwined with someone else's for nearly twenty years.

He'd known she managed an ever changing group of agents, 5 to 10 at a time. But, other than one man he'd worked with in Jordan about five years ago, he'd never known who they were. Everything was tracked by code name and he could not find a single piece of identifying information about himself or any other agent. If his wife had been good at anything, it was keeping secrets. Her notes were meticulous including dates, times, and locations. Every email was retained and every phone call logged with a description of the content. Every op had a folder containing reports from her people and her report going up the chain. He found it fascinating to read her reports on his work and see what she'd concealed, embellished, or even outright altered.

At the same time as it fascinated him, reading her words had given him dreams of her again. In his dreams, she typed the messages at the beat up butcher block table she had made him buy at the Sante Fe flea market when they went there for a vacation in 1986. Back then her hair had been raven's black, but he wondered if in the last few years a little silver might have crept into her temples. Either way, she would have been wearing one of the long skirts she favored with a t-shirt. The logo would surely have extorted one to Save the Eelgrass or Give Life or something similar. In her writing he could hear the low tone of her voice and the unique rhythms to her speech that gave away the fact that even though she did not have an accent, English was not her first language. He'd tried his best not to get too hung up on the fact that she had moved on from him, but hearing her voice so clearly had made him ache for her again. Etza'a had played a cruel joke on him, allowing him the joy of living and finding his daughter while taking his lovely Claire away.

They had been in the car, on a long dark highway somewhere in Illinois when he found that she had sent a final listing of all the agents she'd ever managed to her boss in early October. It was her last recorded activity in the set of files he was looking at, although not the last item to be opened and read on the secure partition of the drive. By October, Tex had been on the Nathan James for almost a month. There were two details about the letter that struck him. First, she listed all her agents by codename, last known location, status, and date of status confirmation. Of the eight not already dead or transferred to other roles before the flu hit, four were listed as confirmed dead in the middle east in July and August, one was dead in China, and one was dead in the Philippines. Two were listed as unknown and Tex immediately recognized one of the listings as the man he'd worked with before, agent KS87EF, which was interesting because he knew for a fact that the man's family thought he had died while on a mission in the middle east.

What struck him as surprising was that the confirmation date for his own status was listed as exactly the date the Nathan James had made port in Cuba, which had been a few weeks after the last time he'd contacted her. The second thing was that unlike every other correspondence in her records, this one appeared to have a typo. Her boss went by the code name DGPacManNOO. Indeed, it had been the fall back code he had memorized nearly ten years ago in case he lost contact with his handler and needed to make contact up the chain. However, on this single copied email she had corrected the address to DGPacManN00. The difference was minuscule but suddenly names and titles flitted through Tex's head and he knew for certain who had been employing him for the last 10 years. The information left him in a bit of a moral quandary because he could think of more than one person whom he had interacted with since the Red Flu began who would like this bit of information.

Now, nearly a week later, he'd decided what he needed to do next. He slipped the tiny comm card into the laptop and logged into the secure network. He opened a message window and typed his usual update on the President's location. Then he typed in the code words he was going to use and let the encryption program both code and encrypt the message.

While that ran, he crafted a second message. He had thought of many things he wanted to ask the man who had sent him on countless missions all over the world. First and foremost was "Whose side are we on?" But given the state of the world these days, that was likely an even murkier question then it had been before the Flu. And he'd like to know where the man was. The area he had been in before the flu was now claimed by the MCF. How was it that he had survived, and disappeared? But that information wouldn't help him either. "Is Michener legitimate?" was pointless too, even though Tex was dying to know the answer. His git told him to back Michener so that's what he would do, regardless of what the bossman said. Right now, he was doing everything he could to help see the cure distributed and he would keep doing that unless another threat presented itself. So finally, he typed the words, dreading the answer. "Is there anyone I should inform of your survival?"

That answer came almost three days later. "No"

Tex scratched his beard. That wasn't what he'd expected. He had figured Michener should know and potentially Chandler. And certainly a few others had a right to know. But he had to follow orders so he would keep it to himself, at least for the time being.


	2. Sharpen 2 - Matchmaker

**Matchmaker, Eddie Gomez**

"Master Chief?" Ray put on an extra burst of speed to catch Master Chief Jeter's long strides before he exited the mess and headed to his office on the ship. "Do you have a second?" He had been working himself up to talking with Jeter for a few days. He wasn't scared of many people, but Jeter was important and he didn't want to embarrass himself if he could help it.

"Mr. Diaz! If you don't mind walking while we talk, I'm all ears."

"Thanks Sir. I really appreciate it Sir. I just… Well, I want to ask… I.."

Jeter slowed his pace a little. "I don't bite you know. Unless you keep calling me Sir of course. What can I help you with?"

Ray flashed him what he hoped was an appreciative glance and caught Jeter smiling patiently and watching him out of the side of his eye. Encouraged, he tried again. "I wanted to know if I'm doing alright, S..ah Master Chief. With the pre-training I mean. I know I'm not the biggest, strongest guy but I work hard." Once he got going it started coming out in a rush. "And I'm really hoping to be in the first group of recruits. Well, I need to be in the first group of recruits…14 mouths to feed and all. And so if there's anything you think I should be working on, or doing, or learning, or whatever, I'll do it. I need a real job and some way to support the kids you see."

Jeter stopped and turned to face him, placing a firm hand on his arm to stop him when he would have kept marching on, oblivious. "Breathe, Mr. Diaz. Breathe."

I know." Jeter barely hid his smile. "I was young and eager once too. You are doing fine. Truth be told, I think Chandler is going to enlist or commission most of the recruits by the time the Nathan James sails, and I have already made the recommendation that you, Mr. Li, and Ms. Stillman be on the list."

"You have?" Ray hadn't realized there even was a list yet. So, he, Lee, and Dylan were leading the pack. That surprised him. Lee was obvious but neither he or Dylan lead any of the skills yet. "I mean, thanks." He let it sink in for a minute. He was one step closer.

"Well, you had stated you were free to go anytime in the forms you gave Lieutenant Burk. But let me ask you, are you really free to go? What are your plans for the kids?"

Ray felt the silly grin that he couldn't hold back after hearing Master Chief had recommended him for enlistment turn heavy. "I don't know. That's a part of what I need to figure out. Do we stay here? Do we move to Norfolk? Do we wait and find out how it goes after a few months of school? I hate that no matter what we do it's all up in the air and I feel guilty that I'm going to totally screw with their lives when they are just getting to some kind of normal." Ray gulped in air, taking a moment to re-frame what he was saying. "It's not just that I need a job. I want to be out there, doing something to make life better than the way it is now. And I'm just excited to make a difference, you know? Is it wrong that I want to go away and do something else? We're like a family now, and they need someone to support the family so I've got to do that. It's all well and good to get ration cards right now, but eventually we need a real income, you know?"

Jeter tilted his head to one side. "I hear you Ray, you've got to make a living somehow. Trust me when I say that you are far from the first man to feel this way. In every group that goes on their first cruise there's always one or two that struggle with guilt because on the one hand it's a much needed job that's taking them away, and on the other hand, they love the work. It's how you and your family deal with it that matters. You'll find your way. The good ones always do."

They walked toward the river in silence for a few minutes. "What you need to do is have a little faith in those kids and the people that support you. Those kids are going to be OK no matter how you decide to handle it."

Ray nodded, a wash of relief was flooding him. He hadn't realized until that moment how much he needed to hear someone other than the oldest kids say that things were going to be alright. Somehow, as things started getting more normal, he'd started to get less confident. But, there was something about Jeter that he automatically trusted. It wasn't just the man's upright nature or authoritative persona. It was something inherent in the man that Ray couldn't quite explain, yet knew he wanted to emulate. "You're right. Deep down, I know they will be ok. But will I? I mean, they'll have each other and lots of people who help. But, what if they decide they don't need me?" He was embarrassed to hear his voice cracking. "They're all that I have now."

"I think you're selling yourself short young man." Jeter pointed toward the ship. "No one on the Nathan James will ever forget how you helped us when we needed it." He turned back to face the city. "Maybe people who get the cure won't know your name, but you know you played an important part in the success of Dr. Scott's research." He clasped Ray's shoulder. "No one's going to let them forget you."

"Well, I doubt they will forget me, but what if they don't need me in their lives anymore?"

Master Chief paused. "You know, you should ask Kat Nolan to help you with that."

Ray felt his brows shoot up to his hairline. "Kat? She hates my guts. The last thing she wants to do is help me."

"Oh you young people, always so black and white." Jeter chuckled. "But I meant that you should ask her how she felt about her Dad being away. You know she had no contact with him for the last three years, right?" Three years? He'd had no idea. And Tex had left with the president only a few weeks after settling Kat here. No wonder she was so prickly. "Well, I would guess that if you asked her if she knew her dad loved her, she'd still say yes, absolutely. Don't underestimate those kids. They aren't going to forget about you. Just like you are going to long to share your adventure with them, 10 minutes after the ship sets sail they are going to look forward to every second they have with you too."

Ray chewed on that for a moment. "Thanks Master Chief. I, uh, I think I need to go now. I have no time to waste and all that."

Master Chief shook his hand firmly. "Anytime son. My door is always open to you."


	3. Chapter 3

**It'll Be Me, Jerry Lee Lewis**

Kara stood at the white board, pen ready, while Andrea Garnett described the remaining repairs she needed to make on the Nathan James. "Basically, by the end of next week we will be done with everything we can do here. We need large welding equipment and we're out of any kind of large weaponry so basically, we've got to get down to a real shipyard."

"So are you thinking Pascagoula?" Tom leaned back in his chair, tapping his lips with a pen. "Assuming we can figure out a way to get through the MCF blockade in Baton Rouge."

"Yes. And Kara and I have come up with an idea how to accomplish that." Garnett flipped on a projector and Kara was momentarily blinded by the kaleidescope of colors that made up the map she was displaying.

As soon as the image focused Kara began drawing some arrows on the map. "The group that came back from Fort Knox reported plenty of materials on site. We propose sending a small team back to collect anything useful. We ought to be able to get the 5 inch, the ciws, and the canons stocked before heading downriver but until we can make the necessary hull repairs, torpedos and missiles, even if we could get them, are out of the question."

"I could lead that team." Slattery volunteered. "We need to give the guys who just came back a breather."

Tom exchanged a glance with him. "We're going to need to do better than a bunch of light guns if we hope to get past the firepower they have no doubt set up since we came upriver. How are we going to deal with the lack of range?"

"Kara has worked out a diversion that should do the trick." Garnett explained.

Kara quickly ran through her idea, using a few markers to outline the routes. "So it's a lot of moving parts and several small teams to coordinate, but as long as we're patient and let them fall into place, we should be able to minimize the risks at each stage."

The room waited while Tom slowly swiveled his chair side to side. Finally he said "I like the plan. It covers as many of the bases as we can anticipate and leaves room for flexibility if we need it. But we're pretty stretched for people and we're going to need three simultaneous commands plus one independent group working intelligence on shore. How do you propose we handle that?"

Kara sucked in a breath. She needed to sound as confident and convincing as possible. She'd discussed what she was going to propose with Danny and he'd already said that he wouldn't back her up, but he wouldn't argue with her in front of Chandler either. A much as she understood his position that "It's biology, not a matter of fairness! Besides, this isn't a questions of whether you're the best person, it's whether this is the best job for you. I'm trying to put you, the baby, and us first here." It still rankled even if she knew he was disagreeing with her out of love.

"Well, Garnett and I agree that she needs to be on the Nathan James. It is likely that there will be unforeseen engineering issues once the ship is underway again. The navigation issues will be challenging as well so that team will be headed by Slattery, herself, and Lieutenant Mejia."

Chandler nodded in agreement. "How many crew?"

"We keep it minimal Sir." Andrea filled in. "The majority of them can get down to Pascagoula by car and stay well out of range of the MCF. We'll need them to do some prep work down there in order to bring the Nathan James in."

Kara pointed toward the map. "Team 2 will be attached to the Nathan James but likely spend most of their time on the west side of the river. The limited intel we have is that there are missile and heavy artillery batteries just north of Baton Rouge." Andrea displayed a satellite image of the river bank and a road running close to the water. "Val managed to hack into a ESA satellite and recovered these images from last week. It appears that Ray and Brie were correct that the MCF has set up shop in Baton Rouge."

Kara circled an area north of the city. "This is Red River Landing and these…" Andrea zoomed in to where several trucks and people could be seen on the road overlooking the cutbank, "…trucks are carrying enough firepower to do us in."

Slattery counted under his breath. "Jesus! That's enough to do all of Baton Rouge in too!"

"Indeed Sir. These need to be our first priority coming downstream. I had a few people examine the images and we're looking at a 3 to 5 mile range on this system. Due to their heavily guarded position, on an open bluff, with a full view of the river, we're not going to get up close and personal." Also, we don't have anything operational on the ship that can accurately fire that long range right now."

"What about aircraft?" Master Chief asked. "Do they have any anti-aircraft batteries guarding these positions?"

Andrea nodded and flipped up a few slides to another map and Kara began circling positions in a wide circle around the river bend. "Yes, and they knew what they were doing." Andrea continued. "We don't have enough operators to create a good hole in their defenses here."

Slattery frowned and started rubbing his temples. "We've got to get more recruits in the training. How are the few you've got now Russ?"

Jeter nodded, his long face creasing in a wry smile as he replied. "Well, they are young and green but fortunately this group has more brains and guts than most. Mr. Diaz, Mr. Li, and Ms. Stillman can probably take just about anything we throw at them. Mr. Wiedermeijer, Mr. Howe, and Mr. Verner..well I think we're going to have to see how they do under pressure but I'd trust them to follow orders under close supervision. The rest of them are definitely not ready."

Slattery bounced the end of his fist off the table. "If we had 50 Mr. Li's I'd say we could take out those batteries but even if we get Hernandez to send down everyone he's got from Chicago we just don't have the manpower."

Kara pointed her research at Slattery. "That's why we've come up with the plan we have. Put up the map for the area between Baton Rouge and New Orleans." She cleared the old markings away and began highlighting a new set of positions. "They've also got the area south of Baton Rouge well covered. But, they don't have anything downstream of New Orleans. That's why we think they are completely focused on keeping us from coming downstream rather than stopping river traffic all together."

Andrea pulled up an image of a shipyard. "So we're going to pull a little bean and cup trick on them to get downstream." There was a massive ship on one side of the highway and only a few blocks away, two smaller ships tied up near large hanger type buildings.

Chandler suddenly sat up straight. "The Austal shipyard in Mobile!"

"Yes Sir." Andrea confirmed. "I was supposed to take my first command after Operation Bluenose on one of these babies."

His brows shot up. "You were going to leave the Nathan James? I didn't even know you were interested in a command."

"Well, the job was offered and when I hedged, they asked me what my conditions were. So I said I would do it only through their test runs up to Norfolk and then I'd come back to the James. We know they are fully operational and I've even got some of the notes from the earlier testing in my cabin. There will be some kinks to work out, but I'm sure it's nothing that will prevent us from reaching our goals."

Kara erased the marks on the board yet again. And Andrea switched to a map of the north western Gulf and most of Louisiana. "So team 0 will be you and Val coordinating from St. Louis, Sir. Slattery, Garnett, and Mejia will be Team 1, responsible for bringing the Nathan James downriver safely. Their land team, which is going to need Lieutenant Green's expertise, will be based off the Nathan James. Team 2, needs to have firing expertise and will have responsibility for taking out the northern positions. Burk will be assigned to Team 2 also, with a small land team of Chief Taylor, Miller, and Mr. Grazinski to assist in the event we are trapped and need to make an overland escape from within the MCF territory."

Chandler rubbed his chin. "And who will command Team 2?"

"It will be me sir, with Nishioka." His brows shot to his hairline but he didn't say anything else so she launched into the next part of the plan without stopping. "Team 3, headed by Granderson and Mason will act as a decoy, drawing their attention from the rest of us. They will have less need for expert operators so Master chief's recruits will help round out the crew due to our lacking numbers." There, she'd said it. If he was going to protest, it would happen…

"No." Chandler pushed back his chair. She held her breath as he stood and faced her, holding out his hand for the eraser. Her heart sank as he rearranged the lists on the board. She glanced at Danny to find he was looking at his notebook, jaw tight, refusing to make eye contact. Coward. "Burk will command Team 2 with Nishioka. You will stay in St. Louis." Before she could even get in a word of protest he continued. "Not because you are beyond the sail date or because you need protection, but because I need someone to help me run this whom I can trust. Running three teams at a time? I'm no admiral. I'm not even a fleet commander. And besides that, we need you back in St Louis, helping make the tough decisions during the next phase."

She had been geared up to argue her case. She'd been over it with Andrea and she had several talking points ready. But he'd just diffused her two strongest arguments without even giving an order. She looked back at the lists. He was right, getting this to roll out smoothly was going to be an exercise in controlled chaos. It was the kind of thing the CIC trained someone for, the kind of thing she excelled at. She gave a curt nod. "Very well, Burk will command Team 2 and Taylor can manage the land team."

She saw Danny's shoulders relax, his posture slump a little. It should annoy her but it was comforting to know he'd been a little worried for her and Flutter. Must be the hormones, she thought. They're making me go soft and submissive. But no matter how much she told herself she ought to feel irked that Chandler had maneuvered her into staying in St. Louis, she couldn't summon any real ire. Instead she felt an incredible relief. Flutter was getting restless, as she often did at this time of day, and Kara couldn't imagine waddling around the ship with the baby leading the way. Besides, she put one protective hand on the baby. It could all so easily go wrong.


	4. Chapter 4 - Chantaje

**Chantaje, Shakira w/ Maluma**

Kat glared at Colin from the driver's seat as she jerked the behemouth she was driving forward ten feet and then slammed on the brakes and skidded to a stop with a satisfying peal of gravel. Behind her, the two passengers squealed as their packs were dumped off the seat onto the floor of the gigantic boat of a car Lieutenant Mejia had produced for driving lessons. Ever since Gator had shown up with it after PT this morning and instructed Rob to "Take the rest of the kids older than 15 down to that big lot by the island park and teach everyone to drive. Make sure the whole crew knows the rules of the road, can make a turn, park, and backup before you go out on any real roads." Ray and Colin had been lording it over the rest of them that they already knew how to drive. So far she'd managed everything but parallel parking. Lee had dragged over two big aluminum trash cans to mark the space. Brie and Dylan had each taken two tries but eventually they had managed to cut neatly and cleanly into the space. She on the other hand was on her seventh try, and based on the tinny crash she'd just heard, she was about to make an eighth. She couldn't see over the long trunk so she really had no idea.

A baby blue AMC Eagle with hideous wood paneling and rust spotted chrome pulled up close beside the land yacht she was driving, essentially trapping them between the overturned garbage cans. She saw Ray's shoulder pumping as he cranked down the window of pretty much the ugliest car she'd ever seen. Then for a moment she was transfixed by the image of his dark hair, shining in the sun, and the brightness of his teeth against his skin. He set one tan arm over the windowsill and she saw the muscles of his forearm flex as he leaned forward. Damn he was a good looking boy. Too bad he was such an ass. "Que Bola Colin? Wanna race back?"

She was pretty sure Colin was about to agree when Rob called out from the open window in the back seat of Ray's car, "No! We're here to learn to drive. Besides, Nolan hasn't passed Mejia's requirements for driving on the roads yet."

Colin shot her a dirty look over his shoulder before swiveling back to address him. "Come on Rob! We're starving over here and no one wants to wait around while she makes ten more tries."

"Oh come on, I've never done this before Colin!" In her head she hadn't sounded so much like a sullen middle-schooler. It was bad enough that she sucked at this. Even worse was the fact that Ray and his cronies were all witness to her whining about it.

Rob nodded. So far he'd basically done whatever Ray or Colin suggested. Kat wished Mejia had sent Miller or O'Connor. They would have known how to take charge. Even Lee would have been better. "Yeah, let's go eat. Green wanted us back by noon anyway."

"I can drive us back." She fumbled around the steering wheel for the shift lever. "I can do everything except park."

"No!" The girls in the backseat sounded alarmed. "Take a rest Kat." Brie leaned forward and patted her on the shoulder. "You know I'd already done driver's ed so I kind of had a leg up on this."

"Yeah, Colin's been getting us to drive him around all morning. Let him do it." She heard a note of pleading in Dylan's voice and felt her temper rising. But then she glanced in the rear view mirror, about to defend her abilities. The concerned looks on their faces only made her cringe a little inside. "Come on. It can be our turn to critique him."

"Is it that bad?" She hung her head. If she could drive, surely Kara would give her better jobs than helping her with paperwork or helping the kids with cleaning. She could do deliveries or give rides or something, anything, for a bit of freedom.

"Well..." Brie hedged.

"You just need more practice to get it smooth." Dylan finished. "We don't need to go 0 to 60 every time."

"Fine, Fine." She tried to put the car in park but the lever was awkward to maneuver and the car began to roll back as she struggled with it.

"Here." Colin slid across the bench squishing her next to the door as he reached over and shoved it into place. "Well what are you waiting for, get out and let me drive us to lunch."

The door gave a loud creek as she opened it and she had to lean so far to reach the handle that she ended up stumbling to get her feet under her while Colin slammed the door behind her. "Ha ha, see you at lunch suckers!' Gravel spit out from the tires in a rush as Colin sped away, sending one of the trash cans spinning in his wake. Brie and Dylan's peals of laughter stung her pride.

With a resigned sigh she turned to see Ray grinning lazily at her. "I suppose this means you want us to give you a ride now." She grit her teeth and nodded. He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "Dale! You know I'm from Miami and I can't handle this cold weather."

She hustled over to the passenger door. As she reached out her hand he let the car roll forward a few feet. The passengers erupted into laughter. "Not funny Ray." She spit out. The blond beside him burst out in a peal of giggles.

"Ok. Ok. No more games. Get in." But when she reached for the handle again, he did it again.

She stomped her foot. "Goddammit Ray! I'm not in the mood for your juvenile games." She tried to emulate a look her mother used to give her when she was holding her temper rather than giving Kat a well deserved tongue lashing.

Lee leaned forward and swatted the back of Ray's head, although he was grinning too, jerk. Well, she supposed that was better than letting Ray go on until he tired of the game. She opened the door and looked into the back seat. To her dismay, the two bucket seats already had two passengers. "Ah, I guess you'll have to ride on someone's lap." Lee's cheeks colored and he ducked his head.

Beside him, Rob patted his thighs. "I won't mind."

Ray rolled his eyes and grumbled. "Well wherever you're going to sit, do it soon. I'm starving too."

Given a choice, she decided to perch on the other guy's knees. She didn't really know him although she knew his name was Rob and he was in the same training group with Ray and Lee. He had on midshipmans' uniforms, but Ray had said the other day that he must have been in a pretty lax ROTC program because he didn't know much. Lee on the other hand had been introduced by her father as the son of old friends so she thought she ought to be slightly suspicious of him too. Her dad's "old friends" tended to have a certain mystery about them. "I'm sorry you have to be squished like this." She offered him a half smile. "Blame it on Ray and his silly games."

Ray started them off with a bit of a tear out, all the while smirking at her in the mirror. Emma Slattery, who was sitting next to him, complete with expertly teased blond curls and full makeup, giggled. "Slow down Tiger." Kat rolled her eyes. Emma was a flirt but she should know better than to encourage him.

Rather than reply to Kat's apology for squishing him, Rob reminded Ray, "Don't be too worried about rolling when you shift your foot from the brake to the gas. Unless we're on a hill, it doesn't have to be an urgent movement."

She had a moment of satisfaction when Ray muttered. "Vale! It's just not as easy as it sounds."

They pulled out of the park and into a quiet neighborhood. This one had been cleaned up a bit so the streets themselves weren't littered, but piles of garbage awaited pickup at the intersections. It would take 10 minutes or so to get back to the cafeteria so she decided it was as good a time as any to get to know the other passengers. She shifted to sit sideways and offered her hand to the guy she was balancing on. He took it with a questioning look. "Hi, I know you're Rob. I've seen you round but we haven't actually met. I'm Kat." She raised her brow, expecting him to introduce himself.

"You would probably have an easier time driving this car. Those old cars had terrible ergonomics." Rob said. She noticed he didn't meet her eyes. OK then. Guess he was the nerdy anti-social type then.

"Hi Kat. My name is Rob." Lee gave the other guy a pointed look.

"Ah, Hi, hi Kat, my name is R, R, Rob." He repeated, while rolling his eyes back at Lee.

Emma tossed her curls over her shoulder and leaned over the console between the front seats with a conspiratorial grin. "Hey Kat. Never mind these guys. They have been trying to show off to each other all morning. Was it like that in the other car?"

"Ah, not really. Dylan and Brie have both driven so they went through all the skills pretty quickly. Mostly Colin just ranked on me for the last hour and a half."

Emma winced in sympathy. "Sorry. If it makes you feel any better, my sister's husband taught me to drive a few months ago and I crashed a truck into a pole my first time out." Kat's eyes bugged but Emma shrugged like it was really no big deal. Emma's motion caused her soft sweater to gape and the hint of a lacy bra cup peaked over the vee neck. Kat noticed that Rob's eyes were glued to the other girl's cleavage and even Lee looked like he was checking her out. She cut her eyes back to the front and squealed. "Brakes Ray!"

The car lurched to a stop. Rob made a grab for her waist but only managed to grab a fistful of her old jacket as she slammed into the back of Ray's headrest. The dog that she had just barely noticed in time ambled across the road in front of them, apparently blissfully unaware that it had almost become a pancake. "Sorry, Sorry." Ray apologized. "I don't know how I didn't see it. Are you OK Emma?" He waited while the pretty blond straightened into her seat.

"I bet I can guess how that happened." Kat muttered, half under her breath. She wasn't as quiet as she thought though because Lee chuckled and Ray shot her a narrow eyed look in the rear view mirror. Flustered, he jammed the shifter into first gear and attempted to start again, only to stall out with another jerk sending Kat into the back of the driver's seat again.

Kat fumed as she tried to right herself on Rob's lap. He was trying to help her but he ended up grabbing her rather high under her ribs and then dropping his hands suddenly when he realized what he was gripping. "Sorry." He muttered, turning beet red.

"Take a breath man! Unless you want me to drive back." The hint of a smile in the corner's of Lee's lips broadened into a goading grin. Served Ray right, she thought, for teasing her earlier. She decided she should get to know Lee better after all. Maybe she'd try to sit with him in the mess later.

"I'll get it. I gotta learn sometime." Ray restarted the car and this time they took off with a smooth acceleration. She noticed that Rob's hands were firmly gripped around her midsection, but now precisely at her waistline, and they tightened every time they went around a corner, just in case. That would be fine except he kept flexing and wiggling them anytime she swayed or moved. She was sure he didn't mean to be invasive, but she just wasn't used to being in contact with members of the opposite sex and she didn't like it. She held herself stiffly, leaning away from his body. He was probably a nice guy but she didn't know him. Actually, what she did know about him wasn't exactly complimentary since it came second hand from Ray ranting about him taking Lee out drinking. By the time they neared the courthouse district, she was hugging the back of Ray's headrest to hold herself at the edge of Rob's knees.

"Would you quit pulling my hair Kathleen." He muttered softly.

She hadn't realized that she had the silky strands of his hair under her fingers until then. She shifted her hands to the edges of the headrest. "Sorry."

Rob ran a hand over his own buzzed cut. "Better enjoy that hair now Ray, because when you get to join up, away it goes." The guys and Emma discussed the oddities of Navy regulations the rest of the drive back. Kat mostly tuned out but at one point, she caught Ray's eye in the rear view and was surprised to see him scowling at Rob. Stupid rooster, she thought to herself. You can't have all the girls.

Once they parked in the hotel garage they began to pile out of the car. It was a little tricky untangling her ankles from Midshipman Rob's but she managed. Without any help from Ray either. He was too busy helping pretty Emma Slattery get out of a perfectly normal front seat as if she was a helpless butterfly. Kat bit her lip to keep from making a sarcastic remark. She had to do it again when all three young men lunged for the door of the hotel in order to hold it for Emma. By the time they reached the lunch line she'd had enough. She saw Brie and Dylan already halfway through their meals and lost her appetite. They had laughed when Colin took off after all. "Rob, Lee, so nice to meet you. Catch you later." She attempted to split off from the group.

She couldn't believe it when Ray fussed. "Hey, where are you going? You have to come report back to Green with us!" He was so annoying. Just because he was used to bossing all those kids from the summer camp around didn't mean he got to boss her around too.

Tossing her head, she told him as much. "Shove it Ray. You're not the boss here, Rob is. You three guys might have to report, but I'm not in training so I'm done here." She noticed that his cheeks darkened to a dusky blush. Ha, see how he liked being called out in front of everyone.

Rob pulled a folded sheet of paper from his shirt pocket. "She's right Ray. It says here that recruits are supposed to report back to Green when we are done. It doesn't say anything about the other kids." As much as Rob gave her a weird vibe, she was happy that he stuck up for her too. She guessed she wasn't the only one Ray rubbed the wrong way.

She knew she shouldn't do it, but Kat shot Ray a self satisfied smirk herself too. And, she did feel a bit of schadenfreude when he glowered back from under the curl of hair she had mussed. She had to admit, he totally had the sullen rebel teen look down pat. Grabbing a slightly speckled apple from a basket on the hostess stand, she strode away, happy at the prospect of some quiet time to herself for a while. She needed some time to think about her morning, and her father, and what the heck she was going to do with herself when he inevitably went back to working internationally.

"I like the way you think!" Emma grabbed an apple too and began polishing it with the hem of her sweater. All three young men stared at the sliver of bare midrif that appeared.

Disgusted with herself for the pang of jealousy that stabbed through her own midsection, Kat grabbed Emma's arm, linking it through hers and effectively cutting off their view. "Come on. Let's leave these Neanderthals to their meat and potatoes."

Ray watched their retreating backs, and backsides. Just what he needed, he thought, Kat turning all the girls against him. It was so unfair that she was just about the most breathtaking manguanita he'd ever seen. And calling him out in front of the guys! It was probably just as well she hadn't come to talk to Green. Although now he was going to be the only loser who wasn't ready to do tomorrow's job. Well, as his old principal would always tell him when he was dragging his feet at calling his mother to tell her he'd landed in detention again, better to face the music now and get it over with, than dread it for days. Ray swept his eyes over the large ballroom that was being used as the general mess. Spying Green in the dishwashing dropoff line, he snagged Lee's elbow. "Come on."

As they wove in and out of the lunch tables Rob asked "Is she always like that?"

Ray glanced his way. "I don't know, I just met her a few days ago. But if I were you, I'd leave Emma Slattery alone. The commander has just barely gotten over the news about Riley and Sergeant Simpson-Slattery and I don't think it would be good for your career to put the moves on her. Besides, Colin has already decided she's the girl for him."

Rob laughed. "I meant Kat, not Emma. But don't worry, you can have Emma if you want her. She's way above my league."

Ha, Ray thought, if Emma's out of your league then Kat's in a whole different ballgame. But he knew enough to keep his mouth shut. Since Rob was headed for a commission, in a few months he'd be an ensign while Ray would be a lowly Seaman. Best not to ruffle his feathers before they were even officially on the job.

They waved to Green who headed their way. "Do you know if she's seeing anyone?"

"Jeez! You just showed up in town. You might want to get to know a few people before you start collecting girlfriends!" Ray wasn't quite sure why the idea of Rob making moves on Kat annoyed him so much, but he really wished Mejia had sent Miller or O'Connor out with the them instead.

"Oh? I didn't realize that you two were an item." Lee winked at Rob and the two of them shared a laugh at Ray's expense.

"Who's an item?" Lieutenant Green looked over the younger men with a critical eye. Ray stood taller and clamped his jaw before he said something rude to Rob in front of Green. Next to Chandler, Green was the person he idolized the most. He didn't want to look bad in front of him.

"Ray and Kat sir. And they are both crappy drivers too." Rob supplied.

"No one Sir. I don't have time for a girl. I have 14 people to feed and clothe and shelter." Ray cringed when he realized he was speaking over Rob. It was bad enough that he'd forgotten that technically Rob had been put in charge this morning and therefore he'd interrupted his own commanding officer, but on top of that, Lee was making fun of him to Green too! Rob raised a brow at him and he felt his own brows merge into a pinched line over his nose.

"Ha, good one." Green responded, thankfully without correcting Ray for his overstep. "But I already know those two are like oil and water. Kat does work for my wife you know." Green smiled as he mentioned his wife and Ray noticed his eyes were trained on her all the way across the room where she was sitting with several other officers. It seemed like Green had everything, a great career, the respect of command, a wife that was both hot and kickass, and a baby on the way. "I guess it wasn't too bad since everyone made it back alive. Was there any trouble following Lt. Mejia's directions?"

Rob looked blank for a moment but this time Ray hesitated to jump in. Instead Lee replied "Everyone is road ready except Kathleen Sir. She really taught those trashcans who's boss today Sir."

Green nodded. "Good to hear, but this is Rob's report to make Lee." Green gently instructed, much to Ray's delight. "I was able to scrounge up six trucks, but four are manual and practically no one in the crew can drive them. Please tell me that you got enough of your people ready to handle them?" So apparently now Ray's own people were part of Rob's team? By now he was holding himself so stiffly that his shoulders were starting to hurt. "I've got assignments for your team for the rest of the week. We're going to start tagging and then moving all the stuff in the dorms at the University down to some warehouses that Slattery set up. We've got to have places for all the people streaming into the city to sleep ASAP. I thought you could practice some leadership skills and direct the teens on it Rob."

To Ray's annoyance, Rob chose that moment to find his voice again. "Uh, I think Emma, myself, Colin, Dylan, Brie, and of course Lee can handle the manual."

"Damn." Green's eyes swung over to Ray and Ray found he couldn't help but look at his toes. Dammit was right. This was one of his first assignments and he'd already disappointed one of the people he wanted to impress the most. It would probably be back to Master Chief by the end of the day. "Both Michener and Slattery want this done yesterday and it's probably a few weeks worth of work. I've got to take a group on a run out to Fort Leonard Wood for some equipment that we desperately need to have around the new White House so I really need you all to get started with this."

To Ray's surprise, Lee kind of stuck up for them. "Well Kat had actually never driven before. She still needs to work on her parking and going in reverse for sure, so she's not going to be ready for a moving truck soon. But Ray can actually drive, he was just murdering the clutch on that little car."

"Humm." Green eyed Ray. "You have a license already, right?"

Ray reached for his wallet. "Yeah, sure. I can manage it. I almost had the hang of it when people weren't distracting me."

Rob shook his head. "Sure, he can almost drive an ancient car with a clutch that's barely got any teeth left, but he'll chew the transmission off a truck." Ray noted with a scowl that Lee was nodding in agreement with Rob.

Green waved his hand at Ray. "I don't need to see it." To Rob he said "How bad was Kat, seriously?"

"Not really bad at all. If she could see over the steering wheel, she'd probably do a lot better." Ray had to admit that he'd thought so too. She was pretty good considering today was the first time she'd ever been behind the wheel. And the impromptu driver's ed without any adult overseeing the new drivers had been a little rowdy.

Green sighed, shifted his weight, and then sighed again. "Alright, here's what I want you to do. After PT tomorrow Rob will take the group to the dorms and get started. Ray, are you up for an individual assignment?"

"Sure." Like he would ever say no.

"Good. Hold on to the keys to that little Eagle. Go order box lunches. Two for you and six for Rob. Tomorrow you and Kathleen are going to start on the door to door survey of East St. Louis. One of you will either kill that car or you'll both be masters at starting and stopping by the end of the day."

Ray groaned. "Or one of us will kill the other."

Rob's brows took on an amused rise; Lee clenched his jaw to stifle a chuckle; and Green scowled. "You want to show me you belong in the Navy? Suck it up and get the job done."

"Yeah. Ah, yes sir. It's no problem."

Rob winked at Ray over Green's shoulder. "You'll just need some headphones…and maybe a big scary gun to put her in her place."

Green frowned sharply at the young man. "Rob, that's not an appropriate way to discuss a colleague."

As much as Ray liked to hear Rob get put in his place by Green, something about his tone of voice made his hackles rise too. He wondered what Brie and Dylan, or Kat for that matter, would say if he told them to be wary of being alone with the guy. He didn't really have to wonder. Kat would probably sock him and tell him to stop being such a patriarchal prick.

Green pulled out a little notebook and scratched a note to himself. "But, that reminds me that I'm going to authorize everyone over 18 to carry tomorrow."

Lee looked shocked. "Is that really necessary sir?" Ray recalled that Lee had not enjoyed the firearms training they had done earlier in the week at all. He didn't say anything, but Ray was pretty sure he'd been thinking about how his mother had been shot and killed only a few weeks ago.

Green nodded. "I wish we didn't need to, but we don't have nearly as much presence across the river. I'll tell the master-at-arms to expect your two groups at 8 AM sharp."

"Sir, if it's so dangerous on the other side of the river, I could go too." Rob angled his body a little in front of Ray's as he said it. Ray opened his mouth to say he and Kat would do fine on their own and then clamped it shut again. Maybe Rob would deflect some of her bitchiness from him.

"Ray, you worried about going out there on your own? If you're not comfortable you can go to the park to practice and Rob can go with Kat to survey." Well when he put it like that…Hell no!

"I think we'll be fine. I heard that Kat's pretty mean on the business end of a shotgun and I'd believe it."

"Fine, it's settled. Report at 0700 tomorrow."

Ray hustled off to take care of the lunches. And if he happened to let slip to the guy writing it down that Rob was especially fond of Bacon's homemade liverwurst, no one noticed or called him on it.


	5. Chapter 5 - Ride Wit Me

**Ride Wit Me, Nelly**

"Jesus Ray! I swear you're even worse than yesterday." Kat swore as she attempted rearrange her burdens. "Maybe we should walk until we're done with hot liquids."

He looked over at her, sitting primly in the passenger seat and burst out laughing. She had a travel mug in each hand, a stack of flyers in her lap, their lunches on top, and her faded baseball cap pulled low to shade her eyes against the glare of the sunrise. "I'm sorry. If we ever have to do this again I'll be sure to request a car with cupholders, madam." He responded in his best snooty accent.

She laughed, actually laughed with him he thought, which was unusual. He did his best to focus and shift smoothly as they turned onto the highway to cross the bridge. Once he was over third gear he was fine, so he was able to relax and glance over at her again. She still had a little smile on her lips. "Maybe we should start close to the river so that if we get stranded we can walk back." She commented.

"You have so little faith in me." Ray quipped. "This is harder than it looks. Just wait for your turn."

They entered a neighborhood. It looked more like the one Ray had grown up in than the neighborhoods they had been in yesterday. Run down duplexes with overgrown yards lined the street. Ray followed the main boulevard to the end and stopped. "Should we start on the left or the right?"

"When in doubt, go left." She pointed with his coffee cup.

"Is that a Nolan family slogan?" He asked.

"Sort of. It was something my mom used to say to my dad

He shifted back to first and eased off the clutch. "Vale! Vale!" He exclaimed as the car picked up speed. He pushed in the clutch and shifted to second, feeling the car catch the gear without jerking as he released it again.

"Well would you look at that!" Kat grinned at him. "You might be getting it after all."

"I knew I could." He grinned right back at her, feeling both elated and frustrated. Why hadn't he been able to do this yesterday?

She sighed and flopped back against the seat, apparently less worried that he would cause her to spill. "I wish I could have your confidence."

At first he thought he misheard her. He waited until he'd stopped, smoothly again, in front of the first house on the street. "What"

"Oh you know, the way you don't get upset when people criticize you. You just dig in and try to do better, like it's a challenge, not an insult. I wish I could do that too, instead of letting my feelings get hurt.

"You have feelings?" He hoped she could tell from his exaggerated wide eyes that he was teasing her.

"Ugh, I should have known better than to try to say something meaningful to you." But he saw the tiny smile at the corner of her lips. Had her lips been so sweet candy pink before? He reached for the keys to shut the car off, taking his feet off the pedals. The car instantly bucked into a stall. "Damn it Ray! Why did you do that?" Almost fearing what he was going to see, he turned toward Kat, his hand still on the keys, a sheepish expression painted on his face. The flyers were on the floor. But that was probably the safest place for them because it appeared that she'd spilled both the coffee and the tea down her shirt. A few wet strands of amber hair swirled around the sprinkling of freckles across her cheeks and drops of similarly colored liquid were falling from the ceiling onto the brim of her cap.

Shit! He took the messy coffee mug she shoved in his direction and leaned away lest she follow it up with a physical attack. "Sorry! I forgot that I have to keep the clutch in." He watched a drop of his coffee run down her forehead and off her nose and felt his lips twitch. He was about to try to laugh it off by telling her she'd be surprised how cute her new fashion statement was when she growled at him, literally growled at him. It should have scared him. After all, she'd actually killed someone before and who knew what kind of defense skills her dad had taught her. But instead of scaring him, he kind of wanted to get her to do it again, and that in itself scared him more.

"For the love of all that is holy, why are you just sitting there staring at me? Find some napkins or a towel or a goddamned paper bag or something!"

That shook him out of his daze. She was still holding her own travel mug in front of her with her arm held up awkwardly so her sleeve didn't get wet. He took the mug and set it on the floor by the gear shift. Then he reached over for the glovebox, trying not to lean on her and get wet himself. The govebox had some kind of twisting knob that he couldn't get open. "Ah, I'll see what's in the back." When he opened the door, the cold morning air rushed in.

He hustled around to the back and opened the tailgate. There was some rope, a small utility shovel, a first aid kit, but no towels. "Find anything?"

"No." He slammed the door and came around to try to open the glovebox with the key. He opened her door and leaned down to fiddle with it but, although the key slid in smoothly, the old vinyl was a little warped and it still wouldn't budge. When he turned his head to look up at her over his shoulder, he realized they were a lot closer than he'd intended. Suddenly his pulse was pounding in his ears. A large wet patch on her once white shirt revealed that she was wearing a hot pink sportsbra underneath, and that she was cold. He felt saliva pooling in his mouth as he stared at the round protrusion of a nipple against the wet fabric. He'd hardly have to move to…

He felt her shiver even though they weren't touching and his eyes flew to hers. She was staring down at him, her expression a bit guarded. "I guess we should go back over to the new White House and come back again later." Her voice sounded unusually husky and he was suddenly aware of a growing heavy feeling in his midsection.

He shot to his feet and slammed the car door, stepping toward the back of the car again. Jesus, where had that come from? She hated his guts. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." He muttered to himself.

"What the heck are you doing back there?" She leaned out of the passenger seat, trying to shake the drops of coffee out of her hair. "I'm starting to freeze. Let's get going."

If they went back now he'd have failed Green twice. What if he told Chandler. What if Chandler wouldn't let him enlist when his birthday rolled around. He had no highschool diploma yet, no real skills. "No way! I am behind enough already. I have 14 mouths to feed and…"

"Do you have a better idea?" She cocked a brow at him. She was winding her hair into a messy bun on top of her head and he had a hard time not letting his eyes stray back to where the jacket was gaping open. Shit, he needed to put a stop to this.

"You can take my shirt. I have an undershirt on." Of course that would mean changing…his mind started to wander to locker room scenes in old movies. He swallowed hard.

She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm sitting in a pool of coffee Ray!" But then she surprised him by giggling "Are you going to give me your pants too?" She was killing him. Didn't she know that talking like that was like crack cocaine to the mind of a teenage boy.

"Jesus Kathleen. Fine, let's go in one of the houses and find you something to wear." He looked up and down the street. Almost every door here was X'd. "Maybe not in this neighborhood though." He got back in and started the car and turned the corner. He fumbled and jerked the car through three blocks before they found one with some unmarked houses. The whole time Kat's teeth were chattering. The smell of coffee and tea filled the car like some sort of bizarre mobile cafe. He stopped on the corner. "Shouldn't be any bodies in that one." He pointed to a rundown duplex on the corner.

"Ah yeah, sure." He waited while she got out, noticing she was tugging her jacket closed over her chest now. Shit, she'd probably noticed him getting a peek earlier. They hustled up the walkway to the first house. The uneven concrete was littered with trash and overgrown grass. The left side had a large red X on the door but the right side stood slightly ajar. "I don't think I want to go in there." Kat stopped where the walkway split to each chipped and crumbling stoop. "Can't we find someplace that looks a little less like a heroin den?"

Ray's first reaction was to scoff at her fear. He'd seen plenty of worse neighborhoods. But then again, the dark windows and peeling paint did look a little foreboding, even in the bright morning sunlight. "You can't sit around in wet clothes. Even if we keep the heat on in the car, every time you get out you'll chill again." He eyed the door again. How bad could it be? "If you stand by the door, I'll go in and make sure it's ok."

She clutched the lapels of her jacket a little tighter with one hand, reaching into her pocket for the pistol he knew she was carrying. "Fine."

He released the strap on the top of his own holster the way he had seen cops do on TV. If there was going to be trouble, he'd be ready for it at least. "Hello?" He nudged the door open with the toe of his worn Converse sneaker as he called out. The light filtering in through the dirty windows along the outside wall revealed an ordinary living room. A flowered couch faced a console TV and knickknacks and lacy doilies decorated nearly every free surface. It smelled musty but not rotten. "I think it's ok, but stay behind me." He called back to Kat. She stuck her head in and sniffed loudly before sliding the rest of herself through the door. Together they crept into the hall, Ray in the lead and Kat following with one hand on the back of his shoulder as if she was afraid to be left behind. He almost wished she wasn't holding on to him because he couldn't concentrate with the hot brand of her hand burning through his jacket.

A quick look through the door at the end showed that the kitchen was clean and empty. Delicate china plates were hung on the wall and the little table was set with pressed napkins and service for two. "I'm thinking an old lady lived here." Ray nodded toward the stairs. "Should we raid her drawers?"

Kat looked up into the dark upstairs hallway, barely suppressing a shudder. "I guess that's what we came for."

The upstairs was neat and clean. The first bedroom they entered, which featured yellow striped wallpaper and a yellow sprigged bedspread, must have been a guest room because the dresser and closet were nearly empty. That meant the other bedroom was the master. Ray looked at the nearly closed door with trepidation. Based on the amount of dust on the furniture he was thinking that if there was a body in there it was going to be well decomposed. "I'm a little afraid to go in." Kat admitted.

He half turned and saw that indeed, her eyes were dilated in the dim hall light. Her hand fluttered down to grip his. "If it's gross, I'm running back to the car." Her hand felt tiny in his and he squeezed it reassuringly. It wouldn't do for her to know he was scared too. She'd probably blab it to all the kids and then what would they think of him?

"Ok. We can do this. Bodies are just biology." He said it out loud more to boost his own resolve than anything. He reached for the knob and he swore her hand tightened around his. The door swung open silently, revealing a neatly made bed, dresser, and rocking chair. Another TV was located in the corner.

Kat released his hand immediately. "Oh, thank God!" She passed into the room in front of him. "Let's hope this was a short little old lady and not someone who could double as Mrs. Claus! While she opened some drawers tossed a few items on the bed, Ray checked out the bathroom. He was just about to open the medicine cabinet when something behind him moved. Adrenaline surged and he burst into action. He whirled, drawing the gun and shooting through the shower curtain.

Pulse pounding in his ears, he heard a scream. "Ray?" Kat came running. Her eyes moved frantically over him. "Are you all right? What the hell was that!" She was shouting too.

He didn't answer. Instead he shoved her back toward the doorway and ripped down the flowered shower curtain, and came face to face with the doleful stare of a fat orange tabby. There was a neat little hole in the fiberglass tub about a foot over its head. It blinked at him as he lowered the arm holding the gun.

"Jesus Ray! What if that had been a person? Huh? What if it had been the old lady?" She picked up the cat, who seemed to be the only one not shaken by the experience, and continued to rail against him. "Or a kid? It could have been a kid you stupid rooster." Stupid rooster? She really was unlike any girl he'd ever met.

She looked down at the cat she was cradling against her pink sportsbra. "Oh you poor thing. Have you been here all alone?" She ran her fingers down its back, causing it to fan its furry tail against her trim midsection. She was pale and toned and he knew he'd better look away before he embarrassed himself.

He managed a gruff "Just go finish getting dressed so we can get on with what we're supposed to be doing. I'll be downstairs." Before he pushed past her and stumbled down the stairs to wait. He busied himself by looking for cat food, but the cupboards were pitifully bare. Someone had taken whatever food had been here months ago.

When Kat emerged, he took in her new appearance. Behind the cat, still clasped to her chest, she wore an oversized barbie pink sweatshirt adorned with pink and blue rhinestone flowers. She practically tripped down the stairs in a denim skirt that hung to her ankles. At least this grandma style successfully dampened his traitorous teenage hormones.

She shoved the cat into his arms and bent to look under the counters. "Find any cat food?" The cat seemed to share his frustration as it dug claws into his shoulder, causing him to wince.

"I think this cat can take care of itself. It's certainly not skinny. Let's just leave it and get on with our task. We still have to clean the car and you haven't even tried driving yet."

She stood, tossing a few bright white dishtowels from under the sink over one shoulder, and sighed. "I suppose you're right. I wonder what would happen if we brought it back with us though?"

Ray winked. "Bet your dad would love that. He'd be sneaking it scraps under the table before you knew it."

She laughed. "Nope, he's not used to taking care of anyone but himself." He thought that was a little harsh. What the heck did she think her dad had been doing working in a shithole like Gitmo if not providing for her and her mother for crying out loud?

She reached out toward him for the cat and he attempted to detangle its claws from his thermal shirt, and the first few millimeters of his skin. As he passed it over, their hands met. Suddenly a vision of handing his baby cousin to his Tia Celine at a family gathering popped unbidden into his head. Jesus, what the hell was wrong with him! He plunked the cat onto her shoulder and strode quickly toward the front door. He needed to get back to the fresh air.

He cleaned up as much of the spilled drinks as he could while she stood in front of the house crooning to the cat to be a good mouser and maybe someone would take it in again. "Come on Kat. Don't you want to be back to our side of the river by the time it gets dark"

She looked up from where she was cradling the cat against that ridiculous sweatshirt and grinned at him, all happy and feisty again, now that she'd found dry clothes. "Why, you afraid to be alone with me in the dark?" You have no idea, he thought. No idea.

The rest of the morning was relatively uneventful. They went door to door, knocking, leaving fliers which listed times and locations for organizational meetings planned by Slattery and the Mayor of St. Louis. They met a few people, but most either didn't answer their doors or backed away, saying they didn't want any help. It was a little disappointing but Ray figured that was a problem for the politicians to tackle.

Ray drove for a couple of hours. By then he was getting the hang of it. He'd even figured out how to start in second without too much shaking and shuddering. "That's cheating." Kat had declared, but he was rather pleased with himself all the same.

When it was her turn in the driver's seat they started on a slight incline. "Is this a good idea? I don't think this is a good idea. What if I roll away down the hill?" Flustered, she whacked her head on the steering wheel when she tried to find the lever under the seat to pull the seat forward. The thunk of her skull against the steering wheel made Ray jump in his seat. "God dammit!" She threw herself back against the headrest. "Oh that hurt! I am literally seeing stars." She rubbed the side of her head with one hand and punched the steering wheel with the other. "Stupid car! I blame this on you, you know."

"On the car?" He knew it was wrong to laugh at someone when they were hurt, but he couldn't help laugh at her a little. She was just so cute with errant strands of hair sticking out of her bun in all directions and the reflections off the rhinestones around her collar patterning her face.

"No, you, you idiot." She growled at him. "This is all your fault. If you hadn't challenged Colin I would have finished learning yesterday. Then I would have gone with everyone else to the dorms and you would have come over here by yourself, or with one of the older littles like Gabe or Natalie, to do this job." She bent and fished around under the seat, this time successfully locating the lever and inching the seat forward. He still thought she was breathtaking, even more so when she was so animated, but now he felt the tension in his shoulders increase.

"Are you kidding? Look around you Kathleen. I wouldn't bring one of the littles over here unless I had to. Now that they have some sense of safety, Luna and Sadie are finally sleeping more than three hours at a time, which means I'm sleeping more than three hours at a time. I wouldn't trade that for anything." He watched as she clamped her mouth down. He knew he ought to shut up but he was angry now. She had no idea what it was like, the pressure of keeping all those kids safe. "Sure, you made it from Jackson to Memphis by yourself, but I brought 14 people with me from Baton Rouge to St. Louis. And I don't have some super spy dad out there looking out for me. Those kids need me to impress Green and Jeter and get a job. They are depending on me to keep them safe and make a normal life for them. So get off my back, focus, and learn to drive already."

"Jeez, tell me how you really feel." She huffed some hair out of her eyes and slammed her hands to the 10 and 2 position. "Fine, tell me how to do this."


	6. Chapter 6 - Broken Car

****Broken Car, Matisyahu****

Somewhat embarrassed by his outburst, Ray took her through an explanation of all three pedals. They spent about 20 minutes roll starting down the hill. Then they jerked their way, starting and stopping every few houses, through a few neighborhoods. Everyone they met had heard about the cure, but most said they would not come to the meeting at city hall listed on the flyer. By noon it had warmed up to the high 50's, so they decided to park the car and let the sun warm them through the windows while they ate lunch.

Kat parked the car and turned off the engine. "How many of the fliers do we have left?" Tiny spots of light were reflecting off the rhinestones on her collar leaving pink and blue freckles on her delicate neck. Ray watched as she turned her head and the cloud moved to her jawline and the nearly translucent shell of her ear.

"Ray? Earth to Ray." She snapped her fingers in front of his face.

"Huh?"

"God, you are such a dope sometimes. Stop daydreaming and hand me my lunch."

"Oh, I was just mentally running over a list of what I have to do this evening." He tried to cover. "It's a long list." Ray reached behind the seats and putted out the small cooler he'd gotten from the mess this morning.

"Whatever, I get bitchy if I don't eat so it's in your best interest to hand over the lunches." She held out one hand expectantly as he opened it and began rifling through the contents.

He put a can of coke into her hand, smirking. "Now don't spill it all over our nice new car."

"Ha, ha. Very funny. Besides, who would want this car? It doesn't even have cup holders."

Ray pulled out two sandwiches wrapped in wax paper and set them on the dash. There were also two oranges and a bag of cheese popcorn. "Not bad considering we'd be eating rice and beans for lunch back in town."

Kat began to unwrap one of the sandwiches so Ray grabbed the other one and opened the wax paper to make an impromptu plate in his lap. He peeled back the bread to investigate the contents. It appeared to be plain processed cheese slices and mustard. It wasn't his favorite but he'd tolerate it. At least it wasn't..

"Peanut butter." Kat wrinkled her nose as she chewed. "I don't want to complain, but I am so sick of peanut butter."

He set down his sandwich. "You don't like peanut butter?"

"Actually, I like it a lot. But I ate peanut butter sandwiches 3 meals a day when I walked from Jackson to Memphis and I need a break."

He'd eaten a lot of peanut butter himself in the past few months but still… " Here, it's just cheese and mustard but at least it's not peanut butter." He held out half of his sandwich.

"Really?" Her eyes lit with hope.

"Yeah sure. It's only fair since I'm the one that ordered the lunches and I didn't check the non-peanut box."

Kat bit her lower lip for a second and then snatched the half sandwich he was holding toward her and placed the peanut butter half in it's place. "Alright I'll take half. That way we can suffer equally." She bit into the cheese sandwich, closing her eyes as she chewed it like it was a piece of fancy chocolate cake. "Mmm, this is awesome."

Ray swallowed a gummy bit of peanut butter without tasting it. He opened the bag of popcorn and held it out. "So, you walked that entire way? How long did that take?" No wonder she had such a great ass.

"Mmm," she shrugged "Eight days. I didn't walk all of it. I rode a horse for three days, walked for some of the middle days, and hitched the last two." Hitched? Jesus, she could have been picked up by a pervert or a murderer, or both. Then again, rumor was, she had shot a man.

"Why didn't you just drive?"

Kat just raised a brow at him. "I didn't have a license, duh!" She reached in the bag sitting in his lap for some popcorn. "I had planned to ride the whole way but the horse threw a shoe near Tchula so I had to leave him in someone's paddock." She stopped chewing and closed her eyes for a minute. "That was my mother's favorite horse, Ouray." She scrunched the corners of her eyes like she was holding in a tear and Ray didn't know what to say. Shit, what were you supposed to say when girls started crying. Something about the name Ouray rang a bell.

"Was your mom into skiing?" He knew some kids who had taken a spring break trip there a few years ago. He'd wanted to go but his mother had just laughed that he'd better get himself a better summer job than being a lifeguard at a summer camp if he wanted to be taking ski vacations.

Kat's brows narrowed over her green eyes. "No, it means arrow in Ute."

"Ute?" Is that a language?

Kat rolled her eyes. "Easterners really do know nothing about our country. Yes, it's a language and a people. The horse was born on the Rez, in Nevada. That's near where I grew up."

"I thought you were from Texas. So you didn't grow up with your dad?" Most of the kids had two parents, or a step parent. It was pretty hard to have the funds for sleep-away camp as a single parent after all. It would explain why she didn't seem to miss her father at all, even though he'd been gone for weeks.

"He's not from Texas. I have no idea how he got that name, but he's had it as long as I remember. My mother even called him that." She took a sip of soda and then began turning the can round and round in her hands. "Nope, I grew up in Nevada. My dad wasn't around much because he was always traveling for his work. My mother insisted we live there, near her family where her father ran a horse ranch."

As Ray watched her turning the can he wondered what could possibly make her nervous about telling him where she was from. "So you went from Nevada to Mississippi when you were what, 15? That's a big change. Your mom get a new job or something?"

She shook her head. "No, she worked from home. But she ah, ran into some trouble with another horse trader, over a stud fee. Decided to move the mare to Mississippi before Ouray was born. Then my dad disappeared so we stayed there. She said it was where he'd come looking for us." She lifted her gaze from the can to the dashboard. "I didn't mind. Court, the guy we were living with, was some old friend of hers. He had a vetrinary practice in Jackson and he did horse breeding on the side. I've always wanted to be an equine vet so it was like having a never ending internship, which was cool. I liked it there."

"You want to be a vet? Don't you have to go to college for a long time for that?" Of course she wanted to be something like that. He couldn't imagine having enough money for college, never mind vet school.

"Yeah, well my mother wanted me to be a doctor but I hear animals make better patients. I've never met one I didn't love anyway. That's why it was so damn hard to leave that horse. He was going to be my tuition." She looked at him like he was crazy. "You keep acting like I'm some kind of spoiled rich girl. I didn't grow up poor, but we weren't exactly rolling in it either."

He flushed. He supposed he had been assuming that since her dad traveled all over the world, she was some kind of jet setter too. "I didn't."

"You did." She reached over and rooted in the bag for some more popcorn. "So, now that you know all about my very dusty and not very exciting upbringing as a lonely child, what about you? I know how you got to the Nathan James, but how did you get to Pensacola? You said you were from Miami yesterday." She picked up a few pieces of popcorn and from the hand cupping it in her lap and pulled them into her mouth with perfect pink lips. "I know we should probably eat the fruit first but this cheese popcorn is surprisingly good." His ears heard the words but his brain was somewhere else entirely. "Ray?"

"Uh, Yeah, well, my mom enrolled me in an afterschool program at the YMCA the year after my Dad died. It was a rough year. I was 12 and couldn't be trusted at home alone because I kept acting out all my anger. Anyhow, there were no other kids there my age so they made me a kind of helper. Next thing I know, I've got a scholarship to a camp. And after that, I went every year." Ray grabbed a handful of popcorn and told himself to stop watching her lick cheese powder from her fingers. It should disgust him but it was having the exact opposite effect.

"Your dad, he was a cop right? Was he shot in the line of duty?"

"No, he was squashed by a truck in the line of duty." She paused, one fluffy kernel halfway to her lips, mouth open in a silent "Oh." He supposed it wasn't fair to shock her like that. "It was six years ago. I'm allowed to laugh about it if it makes me feel better. He got hit while helping someone change a tire. It was just a wrong place at a wrong time kind of accident."

"It still sucks." She reached in for more popcorn but the bag was nearly empty.

He picked it up and handed it to her. "Here, unless you're trying to make me feel better with a surprise hand job, the rest is all you."

He wasn't sure which was fastest, the rate at which she snatched her hand from the bag, or the speed of the blush blooming from her cheeks to hairline. "You are such a teenage pig Ray!"

"Guilty as charged. Now why don't we switch and I'll drive for a while again. Green's list says we have to master starting uphill and I think that neighborhood on the other side of those strip malls will have some hills."

He shouldn't have said anything. That was the conclusion he came to by the time the late winter sun was casting everything in a golden glow and Kat was still struggling to master hill starts and shouting at him that if he didn't shut up and stop breaking her concentration, she was going to kick him out and make him walk home. He probably should not have also joked that he'd have to walk up the hill first to be safe from her rolling back over him. If anyone asked, he'd have to say he'd gotten the large bruise he could feel on his left shoulder from something during training.

"You have to relax, feel the clutch start to catch, and then shift to the gas." She jerked them forward with a loud squeal. "Don't hit the gas quite so hard with your foot next.."

"I swear to God Ray, if you don't shut up I'm going to kick you so hard that you'll never have children of your own." She stopped again, and pushed a stray hair off her face before slapping her hand back on the wheel. "Now, zip it."

He leaned back against the seat. "Fine. In the interest of my progeny I'm shutting up. Just let me know when you've got it. I'd like to get home by midnight." He pulled out his phone and headphones and put on some music. Leaning back against the seat, he closed his eyes. But it was impossible to relax when the car peeled forward and then slammed to a stop again. She tried three times before reaching the top of the hill.

The third time around the block she finally did it. Ray struggled to keep himself from congratulating her. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a tentative smile at the corner of her lips. He gripped his phone, trying not to betray any awareness until she did it again. The third time she was practically bouncing in the seat. "I did it! Ray, I did it." She tipped her head back against the headrest and turned to face him. Her cheeks were flushed with pleasure.

He grinned along with her. Their eyes met for a second. Damn, she was the most amazing girl he'd ever met. Not only was she beautiful, and kind, she was so damn determined about everything. Her pupils were dilated in the dim evening light and he leaned in to see the bright green rings of her irises. "Am I allowed to talk now?"

She laughed and pushed his shoulder away. "Fine, you can talk. Let's call it quits and go report to Green." She demonstrated a perfect start with a wink in his direction.

He pulled the headphones from his phone. "You know what I really miss? Hearing music everywhere. How about a little music to celebrate?"

A few songs into his playlist Kat stopped for a corner. "Wait, go back to that one with the little sneeze at the beginning. I liked that one when you were playing it the other day. I think it's my new jam." She started singing but it sounded all wrong in her voice but she wasn't offended when Ray chuckled.

"Why? What am I saying?"

"Nothing. It's just cute to hear you mangle it." There was no way in hell he would translate that lyric.

"Seriously Ray, you're bushing. You know if you don't tell me what I'm saying I'm just going to ask Gabe when we get home." She probably would do it too.

"It's a song about.." The car interrupted him with a loud cracking sound.

"Damn, Damn, Damn." Kat swore as the car started to make an odd chug-chug.

"I really need to teach you some better swears. Try desmadre!"

"Is that really bad?"

"It's sort of all purpose. If the car dies before we get back home then we can resort to the really bad ones."

"I think I remember a garage a few blocks up. We can just go there and fix it."

Ray remembered seeing a few places on the main strip separating this neighborhood from the next one. Still "Don't you think that's a little racist, assuming I can fix cars?" Sure, he knew about twenty guys back home who could keep a car going with rubber bands and duct tape, but he knew nothing about them himself.

Kat scrunched up her face. "Sure, but don't you think it's a little sexist to assume that I can't fix the damn car myself?" She raised one brow but kept her gaze forward. "Now help me find that place, because I really don't know how to get out of this neighborhood."

They didn't find a real garage but there was a quick lube kind of place so they stopped there. As the lights of the car washed over the building, a couple of stray dogs were briefly silhouetted against the metal doors but they fled immediately. "I just hope the car restarts when we want to go later." Kat switched off the ignition and handed Ray the keys. The sun was going down fast and without streetlights and business signs, this part of town was very dark.

Kat was fishing around for the hood release. "Can you find me a milk crate or something to stand on?" A minute later she was raising the hood over her head and fussing with the support wire. For a brief moment her pink sweatshirt rode up, baring a creamy white strip of skin above the pale denim of the old lady's skirt. Ray felt as if his eyes were draw against his will to the half moon of flesh that glowed softly against darkness. "Ray? Even a cinder block would do." She began to poke around the engine compartment and he snapped out of his daze to begin looking for something suitable.

He might not have been able to fix cars, but the lock on the repair bay was easy enough to pick with a paperclip from the stack of flyers. He found a light switch but nothing happened when he flipped it on leaving it so dark inside that he almost pitched head first into the mechanic's pit. He turned his phone on for a light and scanned the edges of the room. A small tire ramp could work for a step. He memorized its position, put the phone in his pocket, and managed to find the thing without wasting his battery.

"Here." It was only when he set it where her feet should be that he realized she'd boosted herself up so she was leaning on the front of the car and her feet were hanging in the air. She must have been balancing on her stomach because she was holding her phone as a flashlight with one hand. Ray took the phone from her chilly fingers. "Dale, before you fall in and get horribly burned or something."

Her breath came out in a whoosh as she tilted back until her feet met the solid top of the ramp. "Thanks that's much better."

"You tell me what we're looking at."

"Well, the belts all look good, we've got oil, and there's no sign of a radiator problem. The lights were working fine and we weren't stalling so I'd say the battery and alternator are probably also fine. The fuel pump might lead to the misfiring, but it wouldn't have gone with a strange noise like that. So, I'd guess a spark plug problem." She disconnected something from the battery and then began to wrap her hand in one of the dishtowels they'd used to clean the seats that morning.

When she reached in between some parts he couldn't identify she swore. "Fuck, ow, ow."

"What the hell, pull your hand out!" Ray moved to yank her hand out but she held him off with her other one.

"It's just hot. hold on, I got it." She pulled out a small piece of something. "Hold up the light." It looked like a small piece of unremarkable broken china.

"That's what we need to fix? Maybe I can just boost us another car around her somewhere."

Kat looked down from her perch. "I've already been warned about stereotyping, so, I'm going to assume you don't actually know how to do that."

He shook his head. "Ok, fine, I don't know how to do that. But right about now it would be a kick-ass skill to have."

"Mmmm." She turned the little shard over in her hand again. "OK, lets hope there are some parts in there. I need a 7/8ths inch wrench and a thing that looks like a two foot bar with a nut on the end. And then we need a sparkplug. It's the kind of thing a regular garage would have but I don't know about this place. But, I could be convinced to borrow one from another car." She pulled out her phone and they both began to hold their lights up to see the items hanging on the wall. Ray found a crate of sparkplugs relatively quickly. His elation was crushed when she pointed out that they were likely bad ones since they weren't in packaging.

"The tools are probably in the pit. Hold the light so I can get them." Ray was glad that Kat was willing to go down there herself. After the number of graves he'd dug back at the camp, he would be perfectly happy to never have his head below ground again. She turned her back to him, her hands on the metal hand rails. "Just make a quick pass of it. I don't want to get in there and come face to face with a snake, or worse."

Ray held up his light and scanned the four corners. "All clear Indiana."

In the dim light he could just make out her confused expression as she looked back over her shoulder at him. "Indiana?"

"Indiana Jones? You know, he's afraid of snakes."

Her voice echoed funny from down in the pit. "Never heard of him."

"You've never heard of Indiana Jones? Dios! He's a classic adventure movie character. There's a whole series. Are you sure you've never seen it? I'm sure I saw the video in the ship's library. We totally have to have a movie night. If you haven't seen it, some of the kids might be similarly uneducated."

She was rustling around a toolbox. "Found one part of the wrench!"

"Great!"

When he didn't say more she prompted him. "Is it set in Indiana?

Ray rolled his eyes. "Who ever heard of an adventure set in Indiana? No it's the hero's name."

"Stupid name." She muttered. "Even for Harrison Ford."

"Ha! You have heard of it!" She ignored him. But when he was quiet again she relented and turned her face up toward him. "I never thought I'd say this, but just keep talking Ray. I'm getting a little spooked down here."

"Alright then, there's a whole series. Ethan is the biggest baby in the group but I think even he could watch them all. I don't think any are more than PG-13."

"You don't think the sickbed scene will be too much of an education for him, Sophie, and Luna? They've already had to grow up so fast already."

Ray scoffed. "You don't think they already know plenty about the birds and bees? It will go right over Luna's head and Sophie and Ethan will think it's gross."

"Well call me Illinois Jones!" She slid the wrench onto the worn orange concrete at his feet. "I found it!" She did a silly victory dance as she came up the ladder, sort of shaking her hips from side to side and humming the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme. He probably shouldn't have looked, but she had her back to him so drank it in. Damn, the girl had a fine..

"Ray! What are you just standing there for? Get the crowbar and let's see what's in those cabinets." He felt his cheeks color and hurried for the shadows of the side wall.

A crowbar made quick work of a set of lockers which turned out to contain all the new parts. "Found what I need!" Kat held up a package with several items laid out under a plastic vacuum shell. "You work on opening these while I find the tools. But do it over a rag or something. We don't want to crack another one."

Ray took them out to the car and used the way back as a work table. Fortunately Lieutenant Green had issued utility knives to the recruits so he was able to pry the packaging off relatively quickly. Kat climbed back up on the car ramp and began whacking something with the wrench. "Ok, I'm ready for it now."

When he came back around to the front of the car he saw an old spark plug laid on top of the engine block. Kat made quick work of installing the new one. "Ok, start it up." Her bun flounced as she hopped down off the ramp with the old spark plug in her hand. "I'll stand back just in case."

Ray gave the engine a try. The funny chugging sound was gone. "Holy cray! You really did it." He was so relived. Now that it was getting dark it was also getting cold. This part of town didn't seem to have electricity and he did not relish the thought of investigating a possible shelter for the night in the pitch dark. Then again, a small part of him had to let go of the idea of cuddling for warmth. But Kat probably would have socked him for even suggesting it anyway.

The light of Kat's phone shone in the garage. He rolled his eyes. Of course she would try to put everything back exactly the way it had been. If it was just him, he would have taken off with the tools still in the driveway. He flipped on the headlights, thinking he'd tease her by flashing them on and off, but what he saw froze his blood in his veins. She was standing stock still in the middle of the room, her eyes wide with alarm. A dog was between her and the car, front legs splayed, head lowered, and hackles up. It's fur was matted and dirty and a short length of chain dragged from it's neck. He couldn't hear it growl, but as he watched in horror, it took a step forward and she took a step back, right up to the lip at the edge of the pit.


	7. Chapter 7 - Adreneline Rush

**Adreneline Rush, Twista**

Kat set the tools next to the cabinets they had found the new parts in. She wished they could lock them back up again, but Ray had bent the doors enough that they wouldn't quite latch anymore. She leaned the wrench extender against the bottom so it would at least hold it shut. An unexpected jingling sound behind her made her turn around. "Ray?"

He didn't answer so she fumbled to turn her phone light back on. The battery was dying but the dim light caught the reflection of something she hadn't seen before. A dog stood at the edge of the doorway. It looked to be in pretty bad shape, standing almost lopsided, like it was leaning against the building for support. The poor thing probably hadn't had a decent meal in months. She held out her hand. "Hello puppy."

The dog stepped forward, lurching to one side as it did, almost as if it didn't have full control of it's legs. When it opened its mouth a long string of drool pooled to the concrete of the garage floor. They didn't have any snacks left, but maybe if she could get it in the car, they could take it home. She doubted they could keep a dog, but at least they could clean it up and get it a few good meals before they let it go again. She was about to crouch down and show it she was harmless when Ray switched on the headlights, effectively blinding her. She couldn't see the dog in the bright light, but there was no mistaking the growl. A trickle of dread began to inch its way up her spine. She'd seen plenty of stray dogs get scared around people and get aggressive if cornered, but nothing was keeping this dog here. If it was scared, it should be running away.

She took a step back, hoping it would feel less threatened. But the dog followed, a warning snarl sounding low and rough in it's throat. The gaping hole of the mechanics pit blocked her retreat to the rear. Although it was leaning heavily, she was pretty sure that if she tried to run it would try to leap at her. All it would take was one tiny droplet of spit…

Careful not to make any sudden movements she patted her pockets. Shit, her gun was in the car. She was shaking so badly she doubted she could have hit it anyway.

The dog's head swung toward the car as Ray opened the door. "Stay in the car Ray." She muttered, as loudly as she dared.

"Shoo, get out of here!" He clapped his hands as he came around to the driver's side headlight. The dog's head swung toward him and it attempted to make a snapping yip.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Ray, do you still have that gun in your pocket?"

"Yeah, wh.."

"Shoot it."

He didn't say anything and in that brief pause the dog stepped closer to him. Her heartbeat was deafening. She should have felt relief that it was forgetting about her but with one leap it could infect Ray.

"Shoot the dog Ray, now."

"I thought you loved animals. You want me to.."

"Shoot it Ray!" She shouted in panic as the dog began to crouch.

She saw it keel over before she even registered that he had indeed done it. A neat hole appeared right between the eyes.

"Holy shit, holy shit." She couldn't stop saying it. She walked all the way around the pit to avoid any possible fluids. "What's that bad swear you were going to teach me?" She came over to where he was checking the gun and putting it back in his pocket. "I think it's time for it."

"Coño de su madre!" He half whispered it. "But what the hell Kathleen? I thought you loved animals?"

Saying it sapped all her bravado. "Rabies Ray. I think it had rabies. There's no cure, for dog or human." She sagged against him then and was relieved when he wrapped his arms around her and let her bury her face in his neck. He was warm and solid and since she felt completely drained, she let him support her for just a minute. She felt the tears well up but lacked the energy to stop them, even as it galled her to let him see her cry. The last few weeks had been ok. She had food, shelter, and a job. She felt pretty safe around the Navy personnel, and St. Louis was even beginning to feel a little less foreign. But it was all an illusion. The world wasn't even close to back to normal. "I'm not going to cry long." She sniffled into the soft fabric of his hoodie. "But just a minute ok? Nothing has gone right all day and now I just want you to drive me home."

Ray tilted his head and rested his cheek on top of her hair and they just stood there breathing together for a minute. "Go ahead. Cry away." He rubbed his hands up her back and she realized he was a little unsteady too. It had certainly been a long day. After a minute she felt her strength return. "Sorry, sometimes I just lose it." She pulled back abruptly and turned toward the garage, wiping her face with the cuffs of the ugly pink sweatshirt, afraid to look in his face and see whatever he would think of her for being such a baby about a dog. "We can't leave the body for other animals to find, but we can't touch it either."

Ray sighed and for once he didn't even have a teasing comment. Instead he shrugged, not meeting her eyes either. "There's a couple gas cans in the cabinet. We can douse it in gas and burn it." In the end, they not only did that, but they shut the place back up again and left a notice on the door. If there was anything left of the dog, it ought to be safe by the time someone got to it again.


	8. Sharpen 8 - Honey Don't

**Honey Don't, Cal Perkins**

Kara stretched her arms over her head and glanced at the clock. Only one more hour to go. Danny had been back in St. Louis for a week and Kara had yet to see him during the day outside of meetings. They came back from PT and rushed to get showered and then they were each off and running for the day. Chandler and Slattery were still sticking to their 2000 troops by June schedule so on top of helping Master Chief train the first group of recruits, Danny was also spending hours approving the next set of recruits who made it through the first level screening. This afternoon however, she was finally going to have a chance to be with him, albeit along with 30 or so young men and women, but it was better than nothing.

As she reviewed network maps a list of repeater addresses Mason wanted permission to work with, no fewer than six different people came in to ask her questions ranging from "My son is enlisting and I'd like to confirm that meals will be provided." to "Do we know of any dentists in the area?". At one point Chandler emerged from his office to close his door, apologetically. "I don't know how Mason is going to manage when you are out." Was all he said. She had been training Mason for two weeks in anticipation of her eventual maternity leave and she was sure he'd do quite well as an assistant to Chandler. She wasn't so sure he was going to enjoy being information central however.

When Mason arrived she described the info Chandler needed and he assured her that he would get an ensign to work on testing some radio repeaters to see if they could reliably contact remote ports such as Anchorage to find out if they had any personnel or equipment there. "Of course, for radio communication we're probably going to want to encrypt everything. I got my cryptology certification while we were in the arctic but it's a pretty rare certification so there's no guarantee there's anyone in Anchorage to work with at the other end." He blushed when she gave an appreciative look.

"You are gathering an impressive set of skills Will. Maybe we can get Val's help on that. She did design that app for the immunes after all."

Mason jotted down some notes. "So, today is my first trial handling the office when you're not here. Chandler has two meetings coming in and my own staff knows where to find me but I don't know where to find you. Are you having a doctor's appointment?" She found it charming how the junior officers wanted to ask her about the baby but were too shy to come right out and ask.

"Nope. Baby is doing great. I'm off to the shooting range to give a lesson."

Mason's eyes bugged. "Is that safe...in your condition I mean. Is the noise ok?"

She rolled her eyes. "Not you too Lieutenant! Yes it is safe and if I don't get out of this office and do something active it's not going to be safe for anyone else around here much longer!"

She grabbed her knapsack from a hook by the door and strode to Chandler's office. Well it was more of a quick waddle but she was pretty sure Mason got the point. She stuck her head through the door. "I'm heading out for the rest of the day. If you need anything urgent, send a messenger."

Tom looked up from the diagram Val was showing him of some kind of amplifying tower she wanted to set up. "We'll be fine here Kara. Have a good time out there today."

As she descended the courthouse steps she marveled at how much had changed in the two months since the Nathan James got to St. Louis. The president didn't really have a staff yet, but a plan for rebuilding the government was slowly unfolding. Soon they would have the means to spread the cure around the world. After that, it was only a matter of time before life became more normal again. She patted Flutter. Well back to whatever the new normal was going to be.

"Ma'am" the ensign guarding the door saluted as she approached. "Do you need a driver to bring up your car?"

"No thanks Carter. I need to stretch my legs. You have a nice day."

The sun was warm compared to the day before and there was a hint of Spring in the air. Every time Kara went outside she was struck by how normal everything looked. People were streaming into the city on a daily basis now. The President had selected the Old Courthouse as the new government offices and the Hyatt, located kitty corner from the courthouse, was serving as the executive residence where she and Danny also lived. The old market area behind the courthouse had become the new trading center and many of the stores and buildings in the city center were being put to use now too. But with 90 percent of the population gone, the city had a different feel than it had when she came here in her youth. Most of the upper floors of the buildings were empty, reminding her of an old west town she'd visited on a family vacation once. It had simply become a museum where the buildings were preserved but had no life. It was sad to think that all those people were just gone.

She passed several groups of people as she strolled over to the parking garage that housed the car she was driving. Sergeant Simpson-Slattery's team had been a great help in getting the garage cleared. It had taken a week but with a few locksmiths and a former DMV employee they had managed to identify the cars belonging to the confirmed deceased and selected some for government use. Then they had trialled an auction system to raise money for the government to put toward recovery. Based on the success of that program, soon there would be a housing auction too. Her own car, now relegated to her mother, was a beat up blue Honda, but the crowd that had parked at the Hyatt had more expensive taste. She had gotten a fairly low number in the car selection lottery and had ended up picking a late model Outback. And although it had hurt her heart when she had opened it up and seen the two car seats strapped in the back, she was sure that Jenny Vickers, the owner on the registration, would be happy to know that a family was going to be using her car now.

Danny had taken the recruits to Gabaret island, about two miles from the presidential compound, to use as their outdoor training area. Driving around the city was far quicker than she ever remembered from before the outbreak. There was significantly less traffic than before and, thanks to some good work between Gator and the SLPD, almost all the street lights were currently set on flashing yellow and red so she could cross to the north part of the city pretty quickly. But, although travel was easy, Kara had hardly been outside the downtown area since arriving in St. Louis two months ago. She turned on the one working radio station. It might only play a huge jumble of music from 8 AM to 8 PM, but it was much appreciated. With a startling realization, she realized that this was also the first time she'd gone anywhere completely by herself in months. Rolling her window down a crack, she enjoyed the freedom to be all alone for just a few minutes.

She pulled off the highway a few exits north into what was probably once a nice neighborhood. There were large victorians with decent sized yards lining streets shaded by massive trees. It was exactly the kind of in-town neighborhood she had always wanted to live in back when she was growing up on a farm in Kansas. As she stopped at a four way stop she let her gaze linger on one pretty blue and cream house with a massive oak tree in its yard. She could almost imagine the sound of kids banging ornate gingerbread screen door all day as they ran in from one friend's house to another. The tree had the perfect branch for a swing. With a sigh she accelerated through the intersection. It felt a little eerie that no one was out on the sidewalks, sitting on the porches, or playing in the yards.

Kara arrived at the parking area for the little footbridge that would take her across a side channel of the Mississippi to the island a few minutes late. She hadn't planned on it, but when she'd seen the little bodega open in the last neighborhood she'd come through, she just had to stop and go inside to say hello to the shopkeepers. It turned out to be run by some twenty somethings, barely old enough to had graduated college, and they were seriously intimidated by her. "Ma'am, can we get you a pop Ma'am? Do you need any snacks for the baby Ma'am?" She had been charmed. When she inquired, she found out that one of their families had owned the place before the outbreak and now that they were able to trade for goods down at the central market, they thought they should open up again even though they didn't have much on the shelves. "People give us orders and we try to find what they need. You know, so people from the surrounding neighborhoods don't have to drag their kids out and go far for stuff they need." We're all hoping the mayor picks this area for resettlement so it is lively once again. She agreed that it was nice to see some normal little stores opening their doors. As soon as she saw the bag of oreos she'd known she had to have some.

"You know what guys? I'm going to buy a some pop and those cookies. And then I'm going to give you my number. I work in the Navy office and most of my job is connecting people with what they need around the city. We're trying to support people putting their communities back together so if you have any trouble at all, you call me, ok?" They'd agreed and she had left feeling very pleased with herself. Maybe she'd push for this area to resettled too.

She reached over to gather her bag of snacks but before her hand even found the handle Danny was opening her door. "What happened? Are you ok? You're late!" He looked her over for signs of injury or other trouble.

"Oh for crying out loud! Daniel Joshua Green, I can't take any more fussing today! You know I am perfectly capable of driving myself across town. It's like everyone suddenly thinks I'm a child again or something." She waved off his hand when he tried to take her packages from her. "Hands off my snacks. I'm late because I stopped at a convenience store to buy these. A real convenience store that was open and everything."

"I'm sorry." At least he had the decency to look contrite. "I know you can take care of yourself. It's just that you are never late for anything and we did have to break up a group harassing some people setting up gardens over by the school before we headed over here."

She relented and handed him the cookies and soda before she wedged herself out of the driver's seat. "OK, I guess that's reasonable. If you want to be helpful you can carry the big gun which I would have used if anyone gave me any trouble." Wisely, Danny kept his mouth shut. While she shimmied a pair of navy blue shorts under her skirt, he slid the long black plastic case holding the gun she had checked out out from the way back. He leaned against the car while she unbuttoned her blouse leaving only a faded navy tee shirt stretched tightly over her expanding breasts and belly underneath. She topped it off with an oversized gray Nathan James Hoodie. She'd bought it off of Bacon to replace the one she had sacrificed for Danny's Secret Santa gift last July. Bacon had joked that with his new diet and exercise plan she'd better plan to make a blanket out of it after the baby came and she shrank back to her normal size. Right now it felt like she'd never be normal again. Her back hurt and everything felt out of place. As she bent to switch from her work shoes to boots she felt Danny's gaze follow her movements. At least he didn't seem to mind her new curves even if she felt like a cow. Their hands met briefly when she lifted the case by the handle and a little smile snuck out of the corner of her mouth.

"I don't think anyone is around. If you kiss me good enough I might let you carry this thing after all."

"Oh really?" A matching grin appeared on his face and he gently swung her so her back was against the side of the car. The package of cookies crunched a little as he rested his forearm on the window and leaned in. His lips were warm, despite having been out in the cool spring air for at least an hour. Now that her baby belly was growing rounder he had to lean in a little to kiss her and she missed when they could press closely from hip to shoulder. Still, she breathed in his comforting scent and relished the taste of him while she could. His hands skimmed down her sides but finding no waist to grip they returned to her shoulders and pulled her closer.

They broke apart after a few minutes. "Was that good enough?" The teasing note to his voice assured her that he knew damn well how good it was.

"Yes. Me woman. You man. Man carry heavy thing." They chuckled together as they started over the wooden bridge. Their boots made hollow clumping sounds as they crossed a debris clogged thread of the Mississippi onto the sandbar island. Halsey sat at the other end, tail thumping as she came into view. "Hey boy!" He sniffed her pockets looking for treats. "If you're nice and don't try to coddle me I might have something special for you later." Behind her Danny snorted.

They proceeded down a gravel path that skirted a picnic area. On the far side, Miller and about thirty young people were were sitting under a picnic canopy. When they saw her they rose immediately. "Ma'am." Miller, as the ranking enlisted member present, acknowledged her arrival. She found it funny that even though she'd already outranked them all, now that she was so obviously pregnant the young men seemed extra deferential. She recognized Bertrice, Lee, Ray, Colin, Rob, and Dylan but the rest were all new recruits or prior enlisted who wanted to re-volunteer. Two of the young men looked like they were barely old enough to be in high school. She supposed there were plenty of 18 year olds who choose to serve but having come through the academy and then getting assigned to the Nathan James, she just hadn't seen too many of the youngest enlisted in her time.

"Commander Foster," Danny said her name with an impartial voice, as if the thought of kissing her in the parking lot had never even crossed his mind. "Meet our first class of recruits." She would have to remember to tease him about calling her Foster again this evening. He kept doing it and she kept asking him if he was regretting marrying her already. She loved the way he apologized profusely every time he realized he was doing it.

Most of the young men and women looked intimidated by Danny. Although he could be tough when it was warranted, she thought they better learn to respect, not fear their leaders if they were going to become the best of the best. Mentally she divided the group in her mind between the ones who had shorn or tied back hair indicating they were over 18 and already enlisted from those who didn't. A few had uniforms from other services indicating they had already been enlisted before the flu outbreak. Based on the number of gangly elbows and skinny necks she had a feeling that both men and women had known starvation in the last few months. Never the less, their clothes were clean and most were watching her with alert expressions. "At ease recruits." They sat again and she surveyed the tables in front of them. Miller had his rifle laid out neatly with all of the parts in the correct positions. The rest of them had a jumbled mess of parts strewn across the tables.

"Recruits, Commander Foster may not look formidable but she's fierce when it comes down to it and she can shoot just about anything in our arsenal better than anyone I know. She hadn't thought of it that way but she supposed that to someone outside the CIC her job did seem pretty much like it was to shoot things. She single handedly took out the last known Russian Admiral when they were preventing the Nathan James from continuing our work to develop and spread the cure."

"Not exactly single handedly," A flash memory of being on that windy boat with Danny, heading toward a looming foe, and telling him she would not bail hit her in her midsection. Or maybe that was his restless progeny. "But I suppose it's a good reminder that we should never fall into the trap of underestimating the capabilities of our opponents."

Danny continued, "She volunteered for the first vaccine trial and almost died. She took over at TAO of the Nathan James when the previous one died in service. Heck, she pretty much built the drone that was used to find the nesting sites of the birds that carried the strain of virus used to make the vaccine. She's has saved my life more than once, and if you ask, Lieutenant Burk will tell you how she's saved his twice."

"I've asked her here because unlike myself or Lieutenant Burk, she earned a perfect score on her long range certification test. Foster is currently Chandler's right hand woman and basically the person you have to go through to get anything done around here too so I suggest paying attention and staying on her good side. Also, in case you didn't notice, she was pregnant during most of the events I described and she doesn't have the time or energy to take any crap from anyone. Are we understood?"

"Sir, yes sir." The recruits replied forcefully. Training in the CIC was certainly a quieter affair. She noticed that while Miller looked confident, some of the recruits were flushed or looking down at their tables as if they were embarrassed about their lack of knowledge. Danny might have over done the talking up the instructor's skills a bit too much in his intro. She knew the special teams could really use as many hands as they could get before Michener sent them out to take on the MCF and spread the cure to the entire United States. She smiled warmly and told herself to tone it back a little, hoping that they would turn out to be as eager as they had looked a couple minutes ago.

But then she caught a chubby recruit in the back row sneering as he whispered something to his companion and her pride won out over modesty. "If you guys have every heard of Sargent Eric Foster, he was a sniper in Operation Eagle Freedom, that's my brother..or rather was my brother and he was pretty well known. And you're too young to remember him, then ask Master Chief about Sargent Butch Foster, that was my father. Honestly, they taught me everything I know so I'm not going to take you through the standard Navy marksmenship course...besides, we don't have a computer simulator to work with. We're going to wing it..safely of course." She picked up the barrel of a Seaman Hoon's rifle and set it down facing the opposite direction. "Am I guessing correctly, Lieutenant Green, that you have not drilled on assembly yet today?"

Danny's cheeks pinkened ever so slightly. "That is correct Ma'am, I am afraid we spent most of the morning clearing a firing area."

Kara had been afraid of that. "Very well then. We'll start from the beginning." She began to talk them through the parts of the gun and had Miller demonstrate how the parts assembled and disassembled. Once they were pretty good with that she talked a bit about safety and the regulations in the Navy regarding authorization for use. After a few rounds of going through it together she set them to work on it in pair. After a few more rounds she decided their hard work deserved a little friendly competition to liven up the day.

"I have the last known packages of oreos in all of St. Louis in that grocery sack over there. After a little practice we're going to have a race between pairs. On my mark you will each disassemble your weapons, pass the parts to your partner, and reassemble. The first team with two properly assembled weapons gets 4 cookies each. And then everyone else gets two."

"No fair, Diaz gets an advantage being partnered with Miller." The smart ass kid from the back row called out.

Reluctantly, she admitted to herself that he was probably right. "Mr. Verner, you do need to work on addressing officers correctly and not speaking out of turn, but your point is well taken. Mr. Diaz and Seaman Miller, you will not be eligible for the prize." Good thing she actually had another bag of cookies in the car. Sour Rob wouldn't know if she happened to give Kat a bag of cookies for the kids later. After a few practice rounds, Ray and Miller were able to dismantle their M-4s in seconds and began to trade parts before the other teams had completely separated theirs. She cut the time shorter and shorter each round but they still maintained a good margin over the other recruits. Miller was expected to be good but she was surprised about Ray. The day after their adventure in East St. Louis Kat had claimed that he better get not get an MOS that had anything to do with maintenance or repair because in her view he was mechanically challenged.

They sat back at the same time and she acknowledged their success with a quiet nod. When the second team to complete the challenge sat back she stopped them all. "Alright recruits. Pieces down, hands up. Let's see how you did."

"Seriously? How'd you guys get so fast?" Rob Verner set down his half assembled stock rather forcefully. She could see that he had been trying to put the delta ring on backwards, a common mistake. "When do we get to actually shoot these things?" The kid asked impatiently. Danny had already explained several times that they had to master the care of the weapons before they could start target practice.

She chose not to acknowledged his comment this time but made a note to bring it up with Danny later. The Navy thrived on structure and order. If the kid wasn't ok with that, maybe he wasn't a good candidate for the hurried training of the first class of recruits. "Ok, so now that we've covered that, I'm going to let you take home the parts of the weapon to practice with. You still will not be authorized to acquire or use any ammo unless your commanding officer allots it, understood?

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am." They replied in unison and she decided it was time to wrap up and pass around the cookies.

"Alright, I think it's time for snacks." Kara held a cookie up. To Danny she said. "When I saw these cookies I knew they were exactly what I have been craving every night. Damn pregnancy hormones." She twisted the top off one and delicately licked the filling. Unaware that all the male trainees were watching her pink tongue dig through the creamy frosting, she scrubbed her teeth with her tongue. "Except I forgot how sugary they were. I think I really only want the chocolate part but I'd feel guilty wasting the frosting."

Danny cleared his throat. "Better hand them over then. We'll take care of them for you." He took a few cookies from the package and passed them on to Miller. Each man took a few and they began munching. Dylan and a guy named Pickering were the assembly champions after Miller and Ray so they each ended up with a stack in front of them.

Kara rummaged in her grocery sack again. "I also got some pop. Hope you guys like Fritz's and don't mind sharing." She pulled a can from the plastic rings and handed them on. Then she pulled out a little bag of pre-sliced pepperoni. "Halsey, here boy." The dog, who had been lounging under the picnic table scrambled to sit in front of her obediently.

"You're spoiling him Kara, and them." She just rolled her eyes at Danny while he shook his head at her.

"He works hard and he deserves it. Don't you boy?" She handed the dog a few pieces of pepperoni. He gobbled them up and then barked for more. "One more bite." She fed the dog another and let it lick her hand clean after.

"Geez Ma'am. This is real nice of you to share." Rob Verner commented. God that guy bugged her. Despite not winning the competition she saw a stack of six cookies in front of him and she was pretty sure he had pocketed a few more. Instantly put on edge, she had to resist the urge to make a snide remark. Maybe he had been starving and was afraid the Navy wouldn't be able to continue feeding the recruits? Still, there was something about him that irritated her. Perhaps it was the perpetual slight curl to his upper lip as if he was always disgusted at something.

"Well, I couldn't exactly sit here indulging in front of you guys without sharing, now could I?" The cans were still quite cold with condensation on the outside. She rubbed her hand down the smooth aluminum to dry the can.

Danny cleared his throat. "Finish up your cookies recruits and let's try our hands at some targets. Commander Foster, perhaps you can set up your M40 on that table out there and then we'll do our shooting toward that concrete foundation out there?" He pointed toward a 15 foot tall wall of concrete nearly half covered in vines and brush.

"Sounds good. Without a sandstop that's probably the best we can do." Kara dusted off her lap, or what passed as a lap these days. She patted the baby absentmindedly as she eyed the field. "What have we got for targets?"

Danny picked up a cardboard box from under the table. It gave a metallic rattle as he grinned. "Farmer's special." The two of them trudged out to the field. Kara began assembling the high powered rifle while Danny placed old cans marked in Sharpie with large x's at a variety of distances and angles from the table. He even had a few with twine around them to hang from trees. Kara assembled her rifle on a picnic table and then went to help Danny. After they had placed the cans they returned to the gun and she bent to look in the scope.

In the picnic shelter the recruits continued working on their guns. A two week recruit named Pickering leaned over toward Rob. "Damn, the way everyone talks about bad-ass Commander Foster I was expecting some ugly ass bitch but she is hot!" Miller frowned and exchanged a glance with Ray.

"Yeah, and it looks like she really likes to get her cookies too, if you know what I mean." The other man sniggered.

Miller turned in his seat to stare down the two recruits but underneath his freckles he had paled. "Uh, cool it guys." He said unconvincingly.

Rob sneered. "Why? You gay ginger? You'd have to be not to want to get your hands on those tits. Do red blooded men appreciating a fine looking woman make you uncomfortable?" Pickering laughed until Dylan scooted a little further away on the picnic bench.

Miller stiffened. "No, but the Navy has strict policies about appropriate conduct and I'd hate for Lieutenant Green to hear what you just said." He shook his head in disgust and turned back to his task.

A few minutes later though Rob asked. "Hey Miller, you were on the Nathan James, before the Red Flu broke out, right?"

Miller eyed him with trepidation before answering. "Yes?"

"And that's where Commander Foster was, when she got knocked up?"

Miller slammed his fist onto the surface of the picnic table. "I don't think it's appropriate to discuss Commander Foster's personal situation."

Undeterred, Rob leaned in. "Yeah, yeah. We just want to know if all Navy girls put out on long cruises or if she's just extra nice."

"That's enough." Miller slammed down the rifle and stood rapidly. Rob jumped to his feet as well and then suddenly Ray, and Colin, and a few others were taking sides.

Rob poked him in the chest. "What, you gonna call your commanding officer and tell him we were admiring Foster's ass? I saw him checking her out before. Probably wondering the same as us, what it would feel like to…" Miller cold cocked him mid sentence. The young man fell like a sack of grain onto the cement floor of the picnic shelter.

"What the hell was that for?" Shouted Pickering.

"Saving your stupid buddy's ass, is what that was for." Miller got in his face and shouted right back.

"Dude, what the hell?" Pickering pulled back in confusion.

On the ground Rob moaned. "I can't believe you had the balls man."

"Dude," Miller mocked him. "When I said I didn't want Lieutenant Green to hear you idiots talking like that about Commander Foster it was because her full name is Commander Foster-Green."

It took a moment for Pickering to process what Miller had said. Then his eyes grew round and his lips made a silent "Oh". He sat and returned to working on his gun. Miller huffed, clenching and unclenching his hands at his sides. Then he turned and sat as well. They both continued to work, ignoring the man groaning on the ground.

Out at the other end of the field Kara cocked a thumb over her shoulder to indicate the picnic shelter. "Well, it looks like Miller's training is coming along well. One of those cocky kids is already on the ground."

Danny sighed. "Yeah. Sometimes the quiet ones surprise you."

"Should we do something about it?" She had little experience with this side of training recruits. By the time someone showed up in the C.I.C. they had been through quite a bit already. But Danny seemed to take it in stride.

"Nah, there's always one or two rabble-rousers but they learn quick enough. Let's just get them out here showing off the skills they don't have so you and Miller can humiliate them further." Danny winked and she melted just a little. How did he do that?

"Good plan. At least they can be learning something while they grow up a little." She shot him her own cocky grin and they headed for the picnic shelter to get their students to work. "Alright, let's go learn about sighting."

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly and by 0500 she was ready to get off her feet. "I think you guys are doing great. Miller, I want you to work on your breathing between now and Thursday. You need to get more steady if you're going to qualify on the M40, especially when you're shooting without a frame. Recruits, work on assembly and disassembly. I am sure the guys back in the barracks will help you and suggest some drills." She let Danny dismiss the class and they trailed after the boisterous group as they all tramped back over the bridge.

She watched as Rob, Pickering, and Colin got into a giant souped up cherry red pickup truck. She guessed, based on the Indiana plates, that it was Rob's own vehicle. It suited his abrasive personality. From the passenger seat Colin's eyes followed Ray, Lee, and Miller as they piled into the ugly little 70's car Kat was now calling the Deuce-Mobile on account of its hideous poop brown and maroon 70's style wood paneling. She had to bite her tongue when Miller visibly raised his fist and swore at Rob for spraying them with gravel as he pealed out of the small lot ahead of them.

As soon as the last car departed Danny slipped his arms around her waist. "So I don't know about you Commander, but I'm exhausted. Want to show me that store so we can stock up on junk food and take it home to spend the rest of the evening in bed?"

Instead of the bed at the hotel room, at the word home she imagined sitting together on the porch of the blue and cream house she had seen earlier. She unlocked the car and grinned at him over the roof rack. "I tell you what Lieutenant, if you will indulge me for a short sidetrip I'll take you to the store and I'll even buy you a treat."


	9. Sharpen 9 - I Can See Clearly Now

**I Can See Clearly Now, Johnny Nash**

Tom watched as the group of orphans the Nathan James seemed to have adopted took turns throwing a ratty tennis ball for Halsey's morning playtime in the lawn in front of the courthouse. He'd been watching as they broke apart and came together like a flock of songbirds for twenty minutes now, considering his options as far as his own kids were concerned. Schools wouldn't open for weeks still. The hospital was pretty much operating on an emergency only basis. And while there was plenty of food, calorie wise, nearly everyone was sick of rice and beans and the ever present canned fruit. Still, the kids looked pretty happy, considering they didn't have two pennies to rub together, or permanent homes. While he stood at his window a gaggle of girls close to Ashley's age had noticed him and waved. He waved back. He'd weighed the pros and cons and he couldn't come up with a defensible reason why St. Louis would be better for them than Norfolk.

But it would be better for him. He looked toward the Eastern horizon over the river. The sun was already overhead in Norfolk. He wanted to hear them plan their days over breakfast and recount their adventures over dinner. He wanted to hear them laugh again. Most of all, he wanted to know they were safe. It was selfish of him, but he wasn't sure he could take another day without them. He looked to the sat phone sitting on his desk. He had called every day at the kids' lunchtime. It was 1050 now. If he was lucky, he'd have just enough time to run it by his father before the kids got on the line.

Fifteen minutes later he paced his office, his stomach threatening to revolt. "So what do you think Dad? Are you comfortable moving here? Now that our first major mission has been completed and I've had some time to think about it, I really want you here. We've got Scott Air Force base running their airfield and I'm putting together a transport from Norfolk next week. Do you want to be on it?" Of course he would say yes, right? How could he not. It was a lot of pressure taking care of two kids, he imagined. He felt like he didn't really know anymore. He'd never done it on his own actually.

Tom listened to his kids chattering in the background he waited for his father to answer. It was asking a lot of a man with a heart condition. Still, it had already been seven weeks since he last saw his kids. He'd missed Christmas for God's sakes! He didn't want to miss any more.

His father sighed. "Tommy, Tommy, Tommy."

He hung his head to his chest as his heart deflated. So he didn't want to come. Or the kids didn't want to come. A terrible panic seized him. What if they were unwilling to leave their home? They had spent so much of their short lives there with their mother. Maybe they'd rather stay in the old house with her memories than come here to be with him. "It's ok if you or they don't want to. I understand. I'd like to be out there, but I can't right now. Their futures depend on my work here. I.." His voice cracked in a way it probably hadn't done since he was 15. What else could he say?

"Tommy!" His father's voice was sharp. "Don't be ridiculous. Of course we want to be with you and of course we will come. I was just sighing because I can tell you've convinced yourself that they don't need you. Believe me, they do. They love me, no question of that. But they want to be with you." God, he'd been such an idiot to rebel against him for most of his life. His father's words comforted him in exactly the way he needed. They may not have ever been the kind of buddies he always wished they'd be, but he'd never known his father to lie. "Listen to this."

There was a muffled rumble as his father covered the receiver. "Hey kids. Come here, I've got important news."

"Is he coming home?" Ever hopeful, he imagined Sam running across the room from wherever he had been sitting.

"How many times do I have to tell you that he's got important work to do Sam. We do too. We have to keep healthy, remember." She sounded just like Darien. His heart squeezed. Please, please, please don't be upset with me for taking you away from your home.

"You know how you asked if we could take a vacation last week Sam?"

"Oh my God have they reopened Disney world?" Sam shouted. "Yes! Did you hear that Ashley?"

Jed chuckled. Tom did too. They'd taken Sam to Disney when he was five but he hadn't even thought he'd remembered it. "Not Disney. We're going to St. Louis, where your Dad is."

The screaming nearly left him deaf in one ear. "Really Grampa? For real? We're going to see Dad! I can't believe it! Ashley! Did you hear, did you hear? It's better than Disney," He was blown away by the response. And his heart felt so incredibly relieved. Listening to Ashley prattle on about how to decide which outfits to bring and Sam ask if he was going to fly a fighter jet to get there was wonderful healing.

After they covered the logistics there was a lull and he took the opportunity to do something he'd wanted to do for a long time. "Thanks Dad. For everything. For being here for me and for them. If I had known half of what I know now, back when I was the kid, well.." His Dad was silent for a moment and Tom imagined his round face, wrinkled in confusion as he wondered what Tom was trying to say. "I know this isn't how you had envisioned spending your retirement, and I really appreciate it."

His dad's laughter boomed. "Tommy, you know I had figured I'd spend my retirement as a lonely old man, fishing and grumbling at the neighbors. This might sound stupid, but being able to be here for you now is the greatest gift I have ever received. I'll take care of everything here, don't you worry. You just find us a place to live for when we get there."

After he hung up he sprang to his feet and strode into the outer office. Kat looked up from where she was copying out some notices for Kara and Val was sitting tapping her toes in the corner. "Where's Foster-Green?"

"Kara's with her mother, touring a neighborhood she stumbled onto yesterday that she thinks they should consider for officer's quarters. She, Slattery, and the mayor are meeting this afternoon to make the final decision." She held out the schedule of the day for him. "Looks like it's at 2 PM in the green conference room. Why, you kicking us out of your office?"

"Nope, I'm going to join the exodus to the suburbs. If you see Debbie can you tell her I need to see her? My kids and father are coming from Norfolk and I need a place for them."

Kat smiled widely. "That's great sir. We'll tell her. The kids are going to be sooo excited to meet yours! There's going to be quite the collection of preteen girls around here pretty soon! What's Sam like? Does he do sports? I think Ray has his heart set on starting a soccer league for Ethan and Will. The rest of them are all football crazy but he almost has those two convinced that soccer is better."

Kat's instant enthusiasm was infectious and he found himself relaxing against the doorframe, a little less tense. It made him wonder if Ashley might relax a little and develop a more sunny disposition after she got into a more stable situation. "If Sam doesn't sign up for his soccer league, Ashley will. It will be really great for them to have some people to hang out with right away. From what they've told me, most of the people turning up in Norfolk have been singles or career service people who lost families so they don't have anything better to do than return to work."

Kat nodded and he wondered if she was thinking of her own separation from her father. "This whole thing certainly does make you appreciate family a little more than before."

From the corner Val spoke up. "You're going to need communication beyond the cell phone at your house. Mike asked me and Will to work on getting the internet connected between here and the neighborhood they pick as soon as possible. Once you know the address let me know and we'll get to work setting up some kind of office and security for you."

Maybe it was just the strong emotions running through him already, but he was genuinely touched that people were coming together to support his family this way. "Thanks Val. That's good thinking." He had to admit, the woman had proven to be a useful addition to their team.

"Don't thank me, thank Debbie when you see her. She's been asking when we will have reliable wireless going practically every day. Apparently she never had it until she moved in with Kara and it's the number one thing she wants back. If I have to hear her say that the only thing that makes her second guess eventually going home to Kansas is the bad internet and phone service one more time, I am going to lose it and volunteer to go to Kansas to fix it myself."

Tom smiled a bit ruefully. Val was still a little batshit crazy. "Well I appreciate it. We can work out the details later. I'm going to head out for lunch now."

As he headed toward the stairs he heard the long efficient strides of Master Chief Jeter approaching from the other direction. "Commander, If I might have a quick word." His stomach growled impatiently. So much for a celebratory lunch. Jeter never made impromptu appointments unless it was important, and his face said it was important.

"Sure, can we walk and talk?"

Jeter tilted his head toward the stairs and they started down them together. "Sure, it's not exactly secret sir. Has Lieutenant Green come to you about what happened with Cruz and Simpson-Slattery today?"

"No." His mind whirled with possibilities. His people had been so rock solid for months but the cracks were certainly showing. "What happened? Did one of them get hurt?" It figures that today would be the day something like this would happen.

Jeter wrung his hands. "You know the guys, always making bets and challenges during PT. Well Cruz apparently was teasing Simpson-Slattery about eyeing a girl too young for him. I hate to say it because Cruz is usually a good guy, but he crossed a line and now he's got a split lip to show for it. Green wanted to send them home for the day but Simpson-Slattery is taking a tour of the city water plant with the mayor and Cruz is supposed to be shepherding some of the recruits in some clean outs so I encouraged him to send them off in opposite directions with a stern warning. But I thought you ought to know."

Tom paused in the lobby of the courthouse. "It was bound to happen and the fact that Cruz was one of the guys involved goes to show just how much pressure they've all been under." He stared at his feet considering the options.

When he looked up Jeter was waiting patiently. "Sir, if I might make a suggestion?"

Tom had learned many hard lessons over the course of his career, and one thing he knew without a doubt was to always listen when someone with as much experience as Russ had something important to say. "Absolutely." He wouldn't necessarily follow the suggestion, but it would help to know.

"They need to blow off some steam. Everyone knows the constraints we're under with the ship and the need to get the cure manufactured and they'll recognize a band aid for what it is, but sometimes a little relief goes farther than you expect." The deep pockets under Jeter's eyes showed his fatigue and Tom would bet he looked the same. He certainly felt the same.

"Alright, I'll think on it. Send them to meet with me at 1600 today. Along that vein, are we still on schedule to sail in 23 days?" He silently prayed that Jeter said yes. Everyday they sat here twiddling their thumbs in St. Louis he felt like he was wasting Rachel's sacrifice. How many thousands had died because they hadn't spread the cure far enough, fast enough?

Jeter's smile told Tom everything he needed. "Yes Sir, we're two days ahead in fact." That was a relief. He knew he could trust his people to stay on task, but it was still nice to confirm their dedication every now and then.

The two men arrived precisely on time but he let them sweat it out in Kara's office for a few minutes just to eavesdrop on how they dealt with each other. He heard Kara asking politely after Simpson-Slattery's wife and then Cruz's experience with the recruits at the shooting range. The men answered her politely but refrained from talking to each other. He supposed that was the best he could expect.

He waved them into his office. "Gentlemen, I believe you are here to see me. Come on in. Kara, hold my calls." In a positive sign, Cruz ceded the doorway but Simpson-Slattery waited for first Chandler and then Cruz to sit at the small conversation table before perching ramrod straight at the edge of his seat.. "Alright, we've got a problem to solve." He steepled his fingers together and watched as the two of them exchanged a glance with each other. "I heard about what happened this morning and I want to put it behind us." He paused, thinking, come on Cruz, time to man up.

Cruz sighed and turned to face Garth more fully. "Sergeant, I believe I was out of line this morning." He gripped the edge of his chair, looking alternately between Chandler and Garth.

"Yes, you were." Tom noted with satisfaction that Garth was still stiff but at least he had stopped clenching his jaw. "I will admit, my wife, and myself for that matter, are very young. But that is a personal matter and not open for comment by colleagues." Tom had to admit, he was impressed with the young man's ability to reply so calmly. If someone had implied he was preying on young women he would have been livid.

Cruz nodded. "Yeah, alright, I was being a judgmental ass. Please accept my apology and promise that I won't let it happen again."

Garth sighed and Tom wondered if he was going to have to give them a reminder that their ability to work together mattered more than ever. It wasn't like he could just bench them and go get someone else. The number of recruits was coming along well, but almost all of them had to start from E1 and it would be a long time before he had enough experienced people to accomplish all the work they needed to do. Finally Garth extended one long arm over the gap between them. "Accepted. And thank you."

Cruz's brows pinched. "Thank you?"

"For creating a situation where I got to take down one of you Navy guys without looking like an ass myself." Garth's long face split in a brilliant grin. "My position in the pecking order may not have officially changed, but you can bet it did in people's minds. And it was an extra bonus that it was someone known to be such a badass as yourself."

Cruz returned the smile. "So you're saying I better stay on your good side now, as opposed to the other way around?"

The half shrug, half head tilt that Simpson-Slattery gave as an answer confirmed Tom's intuition that Simpson-Slattery had a knack for taking advantage of strategic opportunities. The guy may have been gifted with size and strength but he had most definitely not relied on that alone to get him where he was. He wondered if Mike had realized how much his new son-in-law was just like him.

"Look, I get it that you both could use a break and that's why I've decided that you're going to sit out the mission to get the ship downriver. Javier, when the teams leave I will give you all the back leave you are owed. Take as much of it as you need to visit your sister or whatever. Hopefully when you come back you'll be feeling more refreshed and focused.

He could see that it was on the tip of Cruz's tongue to argue, but after hesitating for a minute he simply said, "Thank you sir. I would very much like to visit with her family again."

Tom turned to the other man. "Garth, I talked with Major Hernandez this morning and learned that you have not planned to take any leave when your twins arrive."

"That's right Sir. I have good reason to believe my skills are critical at this time. Riley understands."

Tom had expected him to reply pretty much as he did. He slid a piece of paper across his desk. "It's from Hernandez himself. He's going to put you on 30 days medical leave unless you put in for your parental leave and take it." He emphasized the last part, knowing how easy it was to get called back into a project and waste a leave period.

Simpson-Slattery's chin shot up. "But Sir! We apologized!"

Tom patted the air with his hand to calm him down. "I know, I know. But Hernandez and I both agree, you need a break. And besides, take it from someone who knows, you need to take this time with your wife because you are never going to have peace at home again." Tom watched as Garth opened his mouth, closed it again, opened it, and finally clamped it shut in resigned silence. "Both of you need a chance to find your equilibrium again. Javier, you'll come off your rest period in time to meet up with Nathan James coming downriver. Garth, after the crew leaves with the ship I'm going to rely on you to continue our training plan here in St. Louis. We have a lot of work ahead of us re-establishing order in this country and I intend to have both of you in top shape for it."

Although Garth never officially agreed, Tom decided to let the man have some space to come to terms with the changes. "See Ensign King to get your paperwork settled. Unless there is anything else, I'll bid you gentlemen adieu. I am hopeful that I have a house to tour before dinner."


	10. Sharpen 10 - Touch of My Hand

**Touch of My Hand, Britney Spears"

The grass around the edges of the square opposite the hotel was hard and crunchy beneath Ray's feet as he jogged toward the group doing pushups on the brick walkways near the fountain. He spied the cloud of Bertrice's dark hair billowing out from under a knit cap and knew Kat would be somewhere near by. Things had gone back to normal since the day in East St. Louis. Well, at least in terms of their day to day events were back to normal. In terms of his newfound infatuation with the most infuriating girl he knew, things were out of control. He took a spot on the edge of the group, out of the area in the streetlights and near the other teens, hoping Master Chief, who was energetically doing the exercises at a faster pace than a man his age ought to be able, wouldn't notice him.

"Mr. Diaz!" He stopped in his tracks and felt his cheeks heat as he failed to go un-noticed. "Nice of you to join us today."

"Uh, Yes Master Chief. Sorry for my tardiness."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get a move on. You can give me your excuses when we are done." Master Chief motioned to the others, still doing pushups, so Ray dropped to his hands to join in. The frosty bricks stung his palms and he cursed himself for forgetting his gloves in the rush to get downstairs in time for PT. While the other teens had optional PT, part of his agreement with Chandler was that he would demonstrate his readiness for service by attending daily. Chandler described it as similar to junior ROTC and promised similar benefits in terms of a more advanced starting rank when he finished his basic training. He wasn't a morning person by any means, but with three of the teens getting up together, it wasn't usually too bad. Ugh, but today he'd gotten up 45 minutes ago and he'd still ended up being late.

They shifted into some stretches. "What's happened now?" Colin whispered from a few people away.

"Nothing." He wouldn't tell Colin. He was such a bigmouth that it would only make it worse for everyone involved in today's drama. As he went through the motions of the warmup, shifting to lunges, and then jumping jacks, he craned his neck trying to find Kat's faded blue ball cap and ponytail. He needed to talk to her before she took the littles after lunch and it was virtually impossible to have a private conversation with any of them around.

He finally spied her chatting with Bertrice and headed for Commander Garnett's workout group. He reluctantly took a place near the back. He'd joined Garnett's group before and regretted it with every painfully sore step he took for several days. Garnett liked to do things like tell them to go all out, it was the last round, and then add one more, "Because you can always push yourself harder than you think you can."

They set out for a nearby high school track at a slow jog and he let the easy rhythm of the patting feet and soft conversation soothe his nerves. It seemed like every time he got close enough to Kat to say something quiet enough for no one else to hear, Garnett or someone else would cut him off. At one point, when Garnett gave them a break from her crazy wind sprints sets to harass Tex with a sharp "You're not bringing your A game today Chuck Wagon.", he caught Kat's eye, but she only shrugged and mouthed "Later." He thought that might mean she would chat with him on the way back, but much to his frustration, Commander Garnett entrained him and Dylan in conversations about what they wanted their MOS to be and he didn't get a chance. Then Master Chief pulled him aside and he had to explain that he'd been detained by something with the kids that Brie was not comfortable handling.

Finally, he was free to go. Head down, he was striding purposefully, cursing his short stature, toward the mess, when someone whistled from behind him. "Ray!" Startled, he looked up and saw Kat on the sidewalk across the square. Master Chief raised one amused brow as Ray marched back past him the other way. "I got the impression you wanted to talk with me?" She hooked a thumb toward the coffee shop. "I'll buy."

As they stood in line he noticed the place was packed. There were still only a few restaurants open, even in the downtown area, and it seemed like everyone who had time was jetting in and out for a coffee. Every table was taken with an assortment of officers, enlisted, and civilians. A large penciled sign on the counter apologized for the cup situation and asked people to reuse if possible. Kat smiled and said "Hi" to several civilians he'd never met, including a very handsome young police officer leaning against the wall near the soda case. Ray took in his beefy muscles and wavy blond hair as Kat said, "Good morning Officer Gund!" with her usual perky smile. He knew his face had screwed into a dark scowl but he didn't care.

The officer in question pushed off from the wall to stand at well over six feet, dwarfing Ray. "Hey! Good morning to you too Kathleen. Don't you look fetching today! That delicate winter mint green is a good choice on you. Really brings out the green in your eyes." Ray did think it was the best of the three tee shirts she currently owned, but that was because it had a tendency to rise up and show a sliver of her toned midriff every now and then.

Kat blushed and giggled, twisting her fingers in the hem. "Oh this old thing? It's just something I had around." For goodness sakes, couldn't she see that the guy must have spent the entire plague hiding out in the gym and surviving on whey powder instead of helping people?

"Hi. I'm Ray." He stuck his hand out between them. Might as well clue the guy in that she wasn't here alone.

Rambo gave him a chin nod. "Uh, nice to meet you Ray?" But then he turned back to Kat, totally ignoring him.

Ray grit his teeth as the line moved forward and the Ken doll moved with them. "So would you want to bring the kids to the station to see the horses sometime? They certainly seemed interested in them the other day."

"Well, I'm the one who is a little horse crazy, but I think if it's ok with Ray that they'd love it. They'd probably love seeing the jail cells too and if they are too much trouble we can pretend to book them."

"Fine." It was all Ray could manage. If she hadn't mentioned an activity for the kids he might have protested, but they needed things to entertain them and he knew it really would be fun.

The speaker on Officer Gund's shoulder squelched and he tilted his head to listen. "I gotta go. So any afternoon this week, just stop by. I'm looking forward to it." He patted Kat's shoulder and nodded to Ray before striding out.

The line shuffled forward again and Kat hissed in his ear. "You got a problem with cops Ray?"

What? "Dios! No I have no problem. My dad was a cop. I always thought I would be one too." He tried to calm the whining note in his voice. "But even you have to admit, it's a little off putting to see a guy that old flirting with a teenage girl."

Kat rolled her eyes. "Seriously? He complimented me on the quote delicate mint color of my shirt. I'm pretty sure he goes for a manlier type than me." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and Ray though with a snort that pretty much everyone on the planet was manlier than her. "Or is that what you have a problem with? Because if it is, you have to buy your own coffee." A lady in front of them gave Ray the evil eye but he didn't care. He pressed his lips together, fighting the urge to smile in relief that Officer Gund wasn't one of those creepy guys who tried to date high schoolers long after they graduated themselves.

"Ah, Um, No, I don't have any problem with that." Ray squirmed a little. He'd never been rich, but it sucked to not even have enough money to buy his own coffee. "But then again, I'll say anything for a cafe con leche." He offered her an apologetic smile. He really did want her help after all.

Kat's stance relaxed a little and she returned to scanning the menu board. They ordered and moved to the side to await their drinks. As the line pressed forward again he edged over, holding out a hand to indicate the space he'd created at the pickup counter for her. His mother had always said politeness mattered. "You're always trying to impress Burk and Green and those guys. I would have guessed you'd get a plain black coffee and then call my drink a watered down kiddie-coffee."

He watched the freckles across her nose get hidden when she wrinkled her nose as if black coffee was the most disgusting thing in the world. "A Cuban man knows that there's nothing manly about bad coffee." He let his accent slip a bit more strongly than usual and grinned as he reached over her head to pick up their drinks.

Kat just rolled her eyes. "Well Floridian boy, what is it that you so desperately wanted to talk to me about that it couldn't wait for a shower?"

Damn, he'd never met a girl that shut him down so effortlessly before. He led her out the door. "It needs to be a little more private."

Once outside they found a free table and Ray sat, edging out the chair beside him with his toe. When it came time to say the words, his tongue felt ten times too big. Maybe he should have asked someone else for help, someone more old ladyish. Mrs. Benson, the librarian, came to mind and he bit back a laugh. No, he was much less embarrassed to ask Kat. She thought he was an idiot already anyway. "I need your help with Rena. I need you to talk to her about something."

Kat's brow furrowed. "Rena? Why can't you talk to her yourself?"

He caught her green eyes over the rim of her cup and then looked away before saying, "Because, I can't talk to a teenage girl about this." He knew the exasperation was showing in his voice.

"Ohhhhh," Realization dawned in those green eyes. "Did she get her period? She's old enough that she must know what it is and all. Can't Dylan or Brie talk to her?"

He cringed. There was another subject he didn't want to talk about. He was pretty sure the twins, Rena, Dylan, and Brie had all had PMS together a few weeks ago and he was still fearing the next round. But he shook his head. "No, that's not it. And Dylan and Brie, I don't know what they'd say."

She held her cup in close and let the steam warm her. "And you think you know what I'll say?"

This he knew for sure. "You are definitely less prissy than Brie and more thoughtful than Dylan."

"Well you'd better spill the beans then. I still have to shower and get over to Commander Foster-Green's office by 0800. Whatever it is, I can talk with Rena at lunch." He could tell she was getting impatient.

"Ok." Shit, this was harder than it ought to be. He could feel his cheeks blazing. "So, Rena walked in on Derek in the bathroom this morning. She's all upset now and when I tried to explain she just ran away to the girl's room."

She licked her lips and then pressed them together, staring at him for a moment before saying. "And what was he doing?"

"Oh come on Kat. Don't make me say it." He watched a few cars cruise by slowly, looking for a parking spot while he avoided meeting her eyes. "You know, what teenage boys do in the bathroom." He implored her to understand.

She snickered. "You mean using up all the lotion and tissues?"

Damn her, she wasn't going to make this easy. "Yeah, that."

"Do you mean to tell me that that you were too embarrassed to tell her that he was masturbating?" Her voice rose at the end and he noted with alarm that several heads turned their way.

"Shhh! Jesus Kathleen, people will hear you and think I'm some kind of pervert."

"You probably are." She smirked. "But why can't you talk to her about it? All you have to do is tell her what he was doing."

Seriously? He could not talk to a 14 year old girl about that! "I wouldn't know what to say."

"Choking the chicken? Jerking the gherkin? Yanking the yam? Buttering the corn? Bobbing the bologna? One man wrestling?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes thank you. I know what it is. But it would be a little weird for me to explain it to a girl, don't you think?"

Kat frowned. "She's 14. I would assume she's quite the expert by now, don't you think?"

He set down his coffee. "Look, I don't know what you girls are typically told in health class or whatever, but could you just talk to her? I will give the boys a lecture about locking doors and knocking before they go to the girls' rooms and the girls should start doing the same."

"What we're told in health class?" He knew that voice and he steeled himself for a tirade. But it didn't really come. Instead she laughed so hard she ended up holding her sides. "Ray, you do know that girls masturbate, don't you?" He'd never really thought about it. He ducked his head. Girls didn't do that. No way. How? A clip of something he'd once seen in a porn movie filched from his old friend Sam's older brother flashed before him. He looked at Kat. No way. No way she… he swallowed hard. She was waiting for an answer, one brow raised expectantly. "Don't you think girls like to feel good too?"

"Uh, yes?"

"Oh my God!" She dissolved into giggles again. "You think teenage boys are the only ones, don't you? Oh my God!" She hugged her middle as she shook with laughter. Ray stared at her, bewildered. Why was that funny? He was mortified and now his brain was going places he really didn't want it to go. Really, he was going to spend the rest of the day thinking about how Kat might..Damnit, he was wearing sweatpants too.

"I, um, I have to go. Didn't realize how late it was. Forgot I need to ah…do something." He took a gulp of the coffee and cringed as the still too hot liquid scalded the back of his throat. "Thanks for the coffee. We're working at the post office after lunch so if you want to hang back with Rena and then meet us there..um, see you later. Bye." He stumbled over his own feet as he turned and walked away as fast as he could without spilling the coffee. He didn't really know where he was going, just anywhere, anywhere else than right there.


	11. Sharpen 11 - The Long Way Around

**The Long Way Around, Dixie Chicks**

"Just the girls I need to see!" Andrea Garnett plunked herself down in the chair Kara had just vacated. "Got a minute ladies?"

Val glanced to her left where Alisha was primly slicing her salisbury steak dinner as if it was a $75 filet mingon. At her rate of twenty precise chews per bite, they would be here all night. "Sure thing. What do you need?"

"Well as you know, a large portion of the crew will be leaving St. Louis in just a few weeks." Boy did she know it! Alisha had swept her up in a whirlwind of preparations that began with intense list making every morning and ended with a bout of vigorous stress relief sex every evening. Garnett didn't wait for an answer. "Chandler wants to throw a party and I've suggested that we make it a combo neighborhood block party slash baby shower for the Greens before Danny leaves. That way everyone will get to know his kids and there will be no stress for the Greens about getting ready for the baby."

Kat beamed at Andrea. "Oh my gosh I've been wanting to ask someone if there were plans for a baby shower! Now that they are moving to the house, I swear she talks like the baby will be born tomorrow and will have to sleep in a cardboard box."

Alisha set down her fork with a delicate click. "What are you thinking of doing?"

Val studied Alisha as Andrea laid out a plan for a special dinner to shower the Greens. "Well, the Greens met on the dance floor, right?"

"Pretty much." Alisha confirmed. "Well, at a bar with dancing. We used to do 80s night all the time when we were in Norfolk."

"You were there?" Kat's eyes were wide. "Oh my gosh, and no one thought to tell them they were breaking the rules?"

Alisha smiled ruefully. "Danny kept his career to himself. Plus it was meant to be a fling. I was soaking up every last minute with my girlfriend before we deployed for Operation Bluenose. Burk and Cruz were busy hazing Miller. And a friend of ours, Georgina, was having a wild fling with Danny's longtime wingman, Frankie Benz. In fact, we had been at sea for several days before I even recognized Lieutenant Green."

Andrea nodded. "Looking back on it now, I can't believe no one picked up on what was going on right under our noses! Those two can keep a secret like no one else."

Val snorted. "Must be a Nathan James thing. Alisha is a pro too." To Andrea she said "I've been trying to get her to tell me what she got me for my birthday next week, but she won't even budge, just gives me that infuriatingly peaceful little smile of hers and says I'll have to wait to find out." Val wasn't sure if Andrea was really aware that she and Alisha were a thing now so she slipped an arm over the back of Alisha's chair. "Isn't that right Punky!"

Alisha's dark eyes swung in her direction but instead of her usual serene composure her brows were knit in a peevish slant. She scooted her chair closer to the table. "So we need a cake, entertainment, gifts, invitations, music…" Alisha completely ignored Val as she launched into full on list making mode.

Val tipped her chair onto its back legs and quietly observed as Alisha and Andrea bent their heads over a paper discussing if they thought Kara would think a gender reveal game was cool or not. Alisha asserted that even though Debbie Foster had said she thought Kara didn't want to know the gender of the baby, Kara was nothing if not a practical woman. If she didn't know already, she'd probably find out soon.

"I know I would want to know." Alisha's statement reminded Val once again how different they were. She'd never even thought of having children. She'd never really thought beyond each accomplishment. After undergrad came landing a top notch graduate advisor. After that came getting approval for her research topic. After that came graduation and a faculty job and so on. She'd never gotten so far as relationships and family and everything that went with them. But clearly Alisha had.

After Andrea left with promises from the three women to help with different tasks she weighed how to broach the subject. Finally, Kat got up for some desert and she had a chance to ask "Why are you so interested in babies? You don't want one, do you?" Alisha's head shot up from where she was poking through her salad for mushrooms and she stared at Val, unmoving for a moment. Alisha set down her fork and pushed the bowl away and Val's stomach curdled. That had come out wrong, very wrong. With everyone moving today the room was unusually quiet. But Val's ears were filled with the sound of her own heartbeat.

"Of course I do, or at least I did. But now is a terrible time and.."

Val attempted to save her. "You don't want to have one with me." She dug the hole a little deeper for herself.

Alisha cringed but didn't refute the statement either. And somehow, despite the fact that their relationship was brand new and it was a topic Val had never given much thought to, she cringed too. "If Sarah was here your answer would be different." It was a statement, not a question.

Alisha closed her eyes for a moment and then in a low voice said, "I know you don't want kids. So that makes things..ah," she opened her eyes, their deep pupil's imploring Val ti understand. "It's just different with you and we're..Well I guess we're a different couple. With a different future than the one I used to fantasize about." Val didn't know what to say so she just stared back, waiting for Alisha to say something about what she actually wanted from their future. "Everything is just so up in the air now. I mean, in two weeks I'm headed out and I don't even know when I'll be back. We can't be making plans, getting each other's hopes up now." She reached out and squeezed Val's hand. "I don't say it to hurt you, but to be completely honest."

A part of Val wanted to rip her hand free but she forced herself to remain calm as Kat slipped back into her seat and set three bowls of canned pears on the table. "I am so excited for this party! I'm going to have to start shopping right away to got all the stuff Garnett put on the list! This is going to be a fortune though! Do people really give that much money for a baby shower?"

Alisha was the first to look away. "Oh yeah, the party will be great. The Nathan James has always been very generous when it comes to these things. Garnett and I will take care of collecting the pool and we'll update you on how much we have to spend as we get closer."

And just like that the moment was broken. Val reached for the fruit and ate silently while the woman she was quickly falling in love with pretended that she hadn't just admitted she wasn't already in love too.


	12. Chapter 12 - Looking for a Fox

**Looking for a Fox, Clarence Carter**

"Miller! Que bola! I never thought I'd see you in a place like this." Ray pulled out a chair at a felt covered table.

When Slattery had extended an invitation to the trainees for his weekly poker night, Colin had begged him to come along. No amount of arguing that the game was a mixer for the Nathan James crew could convince Colin that Emma Slattery wasn't likely to be there. He wished he'd been able to see Colin's face when he opened the door to let Kat in and found she had invited Emma over for a movie night. He still couldn't figure out how she'd convinced Derek, Jamal, and Gabe that National Velvet counted as a sports movie, but maybe the giant case of microwave popcorn she was balancing on her hip had something to do with it. When he'd taken the box and turned around, he couldn't resist needling Colin. "Oh, it's great that you brought help Kat because the kids are a little wound up, and Colin has been looking forward to this mixer for days." Then again, he probably shouldn't have done it because Colin had been pissy ever since.

"You can't sit there." Miller pointed toward Miss Kitty's grand front hall. "Gotta check in with the XO, see where he wants you to sit. He takes this very seriously."

Colin paled at the mention of Slattery. "Can't we just sit somewhere and see who fills in?"

Ray craned his neck to see back past the ornate wooden doors that flanked the entry. Out in the gleaming wood paneled hallway, Slattery was holding court near a small bar with several younger members of the crew. Miss Kitty's boarders were also mingling with the knot of people. "Come on, relax a little. Maybe you can make a good impression on the XO and he'll invite you over for Sunday dinner, let you take his lovely daughter for a walk, if you promise not to make any moves." He winked at Colin.

"Fuck off Diaz." Colin slouched into a chair next to Miller anyway.

"Whatever. I'm going to get a coke. Anyone want anything?"

"Yeah, I'll come keep you company." Miller's chair clattered as he pushed it back and two red circles immediately appeared on his cheeks. Before they even made it to the door, the were stopped by two platinum blonds done up to look like twins with matching pig tails, royal blue sailor shirts, and tiny pleated skirts. One had holes slashed all through her top and the other, had strategically placed holes on her pristine white cheerleader spankies. "Good evening ladies. We haven't met. I'm Eric Miller." Miller stuck out his hand.

The two girls exchanged a look of surprise at his formal manner. "Hi Eric." They giggled and wedged themselves under his arms. One of them twirled a pony tail as she talked. "So sailors, we're taking a poll. Which do you miss the most when you're out to sea, tits or ass?"

From behind them, Colin called out in a lazy drawl. "Oh, it's gonna be tits, all the way."

Rob came in the doorway, holding two beers with Lee right behind him. "No, got to have ass. As long as that shit is tight, the rest of her can look like a horse as far as I'm concerned." Gah, Ray really hated that guy. He totally got it that Lee was having a rough time and Rob's type of entertainment preferences might help him get over his grief, but he had no intention of spending the early morning hours making sure Lee didn't choke on his own barf ever again.

The blond twins giggled like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard and then turned to Miller. "And you?" One turned around and bent slightly, giving a coquettish look over her shoulder as she waved her barely covered ass back and forth. "What's your preference."

Miller blanched. "Legs?" He squeaked out.

Ray laughed. Poor Miller. This was way too much for him. Ray felt compelled to jump in and save him. "Come on ladies, why should we choose? I'm more of a whole package kind of guy myself."

"See, there's a man with his head screwed on straight!" Shit, he hadn't seen Tex come in. "My ex wife oh she had the sweetest little ass you have ever seen but I would give anything to meet a lady my age with a perky little rack like hers. There was just something about the way they wore them in those days that...well, I'm sorry to say you won't find too many girls like that anymore."

The girls slid out from under Miller's arms and latched on to Ray. "Ah, well, you do have to pay double, but if want both of us, that can be arranged."

"Huh?" Ray was shocked to realize they were talking to him. He'd been lost in fantasy land but neither of them could compete with a certain brown haired, green eyed, freckle faced girl. So, apparently she took after her mother. "Huh?, oh no, I meant personality and brains and all that shit too. Thanks." He extricated his arms and nodded toward Colin. "But I'm sure you'll make friends over there."

Doc Rios slapped him on the shoulder. "Handsome guy like you probably has no problem getting it on the regular, huh? Hey ladies, save some of that sweetness for us old guys." At his elbow, Lieutenant Mejia nodded emphatically.

Ray rolled his eyes. He might not have a girlfriend but he certainly didn't need to chase after hookers, even if they were hot. "It's been a while, but they aren't my type."

Doc grinned. "Maje! I'm just giving you a hard time. Everyone knows that you're too busy for that. But you know, in a few months you'll have no access so if you see something you like…" he panned a hand over the room where there were now about twenty women mingling among the tables. "There's no shame in taking a fast track to what you need."

"Hey Doc, nunca me habría imajinado para un calentón."

Doc Rios laughed. "St. Louis was actually my hometown and we've been here for six weeks. Since my wife hasn't shown up to see if I'm alive, I think it's safe to say that one way or the other I'm back on the market."

"Lo siento." Ray gave the other guy a quick hug. "That sucks any way you look at it."

Two hours later the crowd had thinned quite a bit. Some of the crew were serious players. When Ray had said so, a guy named O'Connor had shrugged and explained "Lots of time with nothing to do when you're at sea." He had been out at the third round but to his surprise Colin had made it to the final table with Tex, Doc Rios, and Slattery. He glanced at his watch and was shocked to see that it was 2200 already. Despite the fact that he had been reluctant to come out, he was having a really good time. He already knew most of the crew in passing but it was different sitting and having complete conversations without a bunch of kids or a task from Master Chief vying for his attention at the same time.

"What'cha playing for kid?" Tex gave his cards a quick glance and then flipped a chip onto the table, as if he was so confident in his hand that it didn't matter what color chip it was. He ran a hand down the back of a woman in a pinup outfit sitting on him lap. Ray heard him ask in her ear. "How much do I need for you sugar?"

Colin oggled the woman's plump decolletage as she giggled something back to Tex. "Ah, maybe some cash to take a girl out? Although I don't know where I'd take her, ah sir."

Slattery shook his head. "We are totally casual here son. No sir's allowed."

"Yes, s..Yes." Colin bit his lip and focused on his chips, selecting a green one and pushing it to the middle.

"Uh Oh! I don't think he looks too confident guys." Doc Rios tossed two blue chips into the pile.

Slattery picked up a of red chips between his thumb and forefinger and carefully set them down, still in a neat column, squarely in the middle of the pile. "So, you got a particular girl in mind? Or are you just getting tired of the ol' solo tango?" Slattery leaned back, watching Colin from behind a cloud of cigar smoke.

Colin's eyes went wide with alarm but he cleared his throat and answered. "I have a friend who I'd like to take out." Colin deserved a little grilling, Ray thought, after he had been such a jerk about practically everything lately.

Tex tossed his cards down. "I'm out this hand." Then he nodded to Colin. "So, does she know you're supposed to be shippin' out soon? Might as well get the deal breaker out of the way first thing."

Ray sat forward in his chair at that. "Why does that matter?" He asked Tex. "Three weeks is plenty of time to get a girl to notice him, even if he is handicapped by being a total ass."

Tex and Slattery exchanged a look. "Take it from experience." Slattery laid his cards down face up, revealing a full house. "If you don't seal the deal before heading to sea, it's not going to last the trip. So you either go whole hog, give her something worth waiting for, or you might as well come down here, and make some friends of the shorter term kind." He began collecting and stacking the chips from the center of the table. "But don't worry, you don't need a lot of money to show a girl a good time." Colin was gripping his cards with wide eyed panic at the turn in conversation and Ray had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

Doc Rios accepted the cards from Slattery to deal the next hand. "Besides, there's not much to do around here anyway. After the pizza shop and a movie, what else is there? Might a well find someplace private and get to it, provided the girl is game."

From his seat behind Doc Rios, Lieutenant Mejia spoke up. "Yeah, don't put it off, or some other guy might snatch her up. That always happens to me."

"Yeah, that's exactly what happened with your last prospect." Rios grinned at him and they all laughed.

Gator's face flushed but he was still smiling broadly when he said, "Look, we can pick up some new commando guys on a street corner, but don't forget who got your ass back to open water at Gitmo and navigated the fucking Mississippi river. I'm the only person who can say that, in the entire Navy."

"You're the only person with your MOS in the entire fucking Navy right now." Rios shot back.

Slattery winced at his cards and then folded his hands over them, leaning over the table. "No one doubts your prowess with a map and compass Juan, but can you find your way around a lady?" That brought a round of laughter from the entire group.

Miller raised his hand tentatively. "Three weeks is rather quick, isn't it?"

"Well that depends on the lady." Tex grinned as he laid down a pair of queens. "Is she a good girl?" He tapped the Queen of Diamonds. "or a really good girl?" He tapped the Queen of Hearts.

Colin gulped. "Well, she's a, she's a…" He folded his cards, not even looking at them. "I'm pretty sure she's a virgin."

There was a chorus of commiserating men around the table. "Give up now."

"Too much work, unless you're really hot for her."

"Three weeks to lock down a V-card? Good luck."

Ray swore that even Commander Garnett winced from where she sat between Slattery and Tex, alternately leaning over and viewing each of their hands. "You know, there's nothing wrong with being upfront. Just tell the girl you like her, put your cards on the table, and ask her what she wants." She raised an eyebrow that challenged any man in the room to dispute her advice.

Tex was the only one brave enough. "Well, while the good commander gives excellent advice, after the girl says yes, what are you going to do? I'm not promoting the deflowering of innocents, but the lady in question's lack of experience is only a minor hurdle, assuming you know what you're doing. You do know what you're doing right?"

Colin nodded so hard a red curl bounced off his forehead. Ray knew for a fact that he'd been caught skinny dipping with female counselors not once, but three times last summer so he certainly had something that the girls wanted. He studied Colin's long thin neck and large ears. Other than being tall and sometimes funny, Ray couldn't see what it was they were after. "I, uh, I've had a few girlfriends before. I know my way around the bases." Colin sheathed his cards in an exact copy of Commander Slattery's pose.

Commander Garnett shook her head. "You need to know a lot more than that. If you want a girl to wait for you to come back in six months, you need to have earth shattering skills." She waved her hand around the room. "But giving sex tips to underage trainees is where I draw the line. Have a great night Gentlemen." She winked at Mike, patted Tex on the shoulder, and took her leave.

Mike leaned forward. "Garnett is right. You need to make sure you do it right. These things are tricky."

The plump woman on Tex's lap gave a full throated laugh, earning the stares of several of the young men around the room. "It's not complicated at all. All you need to know is that sex is like taking a girl on a date. The first time, you don't take her to McDonald's, you go a little upscale."

Tex nodded. "That's right. You want to take your time, order an appetizer or two."

"Best manners and all that." Rios advised.

Commander Slattery chuckled. "And you always let her order for herself. Nothing ruins the mood like trying to guess what she wants."

The woman on Tex's lap laughed. "You should listen to these guys. They have years of experience. If you want to practice, I am sure we can round up a candidate. What's your girl's name?"

Slattery's eyes went wide. "Trixie! He's under age!" The conversation turned to more mundane topics about the weather and bets about how long it would be before Val had the cell network extended from St. Louis to various cities. It was only a few hands until Rios was out. "Desmadre!" he threw his final hand to Slattery, who was set to deal next. "I'm not willing to go into debt." With just Tex, Colin, and Slattery left, the competition became more intense. But it was only one hand before Colin was out too.

Tex pulled back his sleeve to reveal a far more expensive watch than Ray would expect on a man wearing frayed jeans and a leather vest. "I'm really enjoying this game here bossman, but I hear there's still PT in the morning so I've got to get going. What do you say we make this final hand all or nothing and call it a night?"

Slattery agreed on the condition that the final bet be for a drink of some fine scotch that Miss Kitty kept on hand "for her favorite patrons only." While a glass was arranged and set in the center of the table it seemed that the whole room shifted around to take sides. Trixie kissed the cards for luck and placed the deck in the middle of the table so Slattery could cut. Tex flicked each card so it landed precisely in a neat fan in front of his opponent. "You been holding out on me?" Mike started another cigar and drew a deep puff.

"Maybe. Or maybe I've just picked up a few parlor tricks over the years." Tex drawled as he set the deck back on the table.

"Holy Mary Mother of God!" The game was over before it hardly even started as Tex laid down a near perfect hand of…

Slattery eyed Tex suspiciously. "Are you fucking with me?"

"Nope, I'm as pure as a Novice Nun on May Day." Tex held up his arms and then pulled up his sleeves. "Just damn lucky!" He took a sip of the scotch, closing his eyes and enjoying the amber liquid. "Sorry you lost my friend, but I am going to enjoy every last drop of this."

Half an hour later a noisy group spilled out onto Miss Kitty's front porch, amid a rain of kisses and invitations from the boarding house residents. "Now I know we could have a good time." Tex was trying to disentangle himself from the buxom woman he'd been flirting with earlier but he appeared much more drunk now that he was standing and was having trouble keeping upright. "I'm a recent widower and well, I'm just not ready to cheat on my wife's memory." The woman giggled and kissed his cheek, promising she'd be happy to help him change his mind.

Once they were off the steps Ray fell in behind Doc Rios and Tex. "I thought you were divorced?" Doc pushed his glasses up his nose.

Tex sighed and clamped an arm around his shoulder. "I wasn't the one who wanted to get divorced. I'll love my Claire until the day I die even though she broke my heart."

"So you haven't been with anyone else since you last saw her, three years ago?" Kat had implied that her mom and Court were a couple, if not officially, than in an unofficial friends-with-benefits thing. Ray wondered if Tex knew that.

"Well, the places I've been for the last three years, weren't exactly the right kind of places for that kind of thing. Not too many people out there who could make me want to love like that again."

"Not that I spend much time thinking about your love life Tex," Mejia stumbled a little as he tried to turn and talk from his place in front of them on the sidewalk. "But that makes a lot of sense. Your wife must have been an amazing woman."

Tex ducked his head a little. "She was. Way smarter than me and better looking too. Actually, that's the hardest thing about having Kathleen back. She looks and acts so much like her mother. Sometimes I have a hard time believing she's mine."

"Really?" Ray sped up so they could hear him better. "She's totally like you."

"Oh, you think so?" Tex arched a brow at him.

"Sure, she's stubborn, fierce, and loyal."

Colin chimed in. "And smarter than the rest of us combined. The other day she corrected all the homework Master Chief gave us. Apparently, Ray is a math idiot."

"Actually, I'm pretty good at math." He defended himself. "But it was some kind of physics stuff I'd never seen before. She just breezed through it."

"That's my girl." Tex crowed. "Makes me wonder if she'll be happy with a career in the Navy. But, I don't know what else she'd do, other than stay home and keep house, and that's not for her." This was the first Ray had ever heard of Kat joining the Navy. He didn't have a hard time picturing it. She'd be so cute in a pair of dark blue coveralls. She was great with the kids, but Tex was right. Kat wouldn't be satisfied staying home.

Mejia chuckled. "Well if she's as good at math as you say she could always become a navigator. That's about as safe as you can get and still be on a ship." Simpson-Slattery saluted Mejia as the group approached the hotel door he was guarding.

"Nah, my girl is too fierce for that, no offense Juan." Tex held the door as they entered the hotel. "I don't know much about the Navy, but I do know she'll want something more active than that." He poked Simpson-Slattery in the belly as he passed through the doorway, laughing at his own drunken lack of propriety.

"Hey!" Garth protested but he laughed too. It was hard to be offended by a guy as nice as Tex.

They piled into the elevator and Miller punched five buttons for all their floors. As they passed the first few floors he turned away from the buttons. "I've made a deal with Chandler to strike for gunner's mate before we leave to go south. Master Chief has given me materials to study and you'd be surprised how much math is involved." There was a chorus of encouragement and congratulations.

Tex leaned against the back wall of the elevator and closed his eyes. "I don't think I've been this drunk since the night I found out my Claire was leaving me." They stopped and Miller and O'Connor exited. The elevator jerked upward once again and Tex held his stomach. "Man, that XO can drink! I'm not sure I know up from down. How's that for math?"

As they exited on the next floor, Mejia and Rios waved, both a little unsteady on their feet themselves. "Sleep it off man. The only cure is to drink a ton of water and sleep it off."

Everyone left was a civilian. Rob and Colin both mimicked Tex, leaning against the walls of the elevator, one arm thrown over their eyes to shield them from the harsh lighting. Ray grinned at Lee. "We're finally going to have our chance to impress in PT tomorrow."

"Ashhole," Colin slurred slightly. "You're totally going to take advantage of this, aren't you?"

When the door swooshed open Rob and Colin took off down the hall together. Lee looked to Ray. "Think he needs help?"

"Oh for fuck's sake boys. I've never not been able to find my own bed yet." Tex waved them off. "Just don't tell Kathleen. I don't want her to think less of her old man than she already does." He started patting down his pockets, all the while talking aloud to himself. "Now where is that keycard." He looked straight at Lee. "Damn Renaldo, you know better than to steal from me."

"Excuse me?" Lee stepped back confused.

"Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about." Tex pulled the key out of his pocket. "Here it is. Don't you remember that time we had that fluff job to sneak that guy out of the Russian embassy in Manilla. And you lost the key card so I had to go in through one of those stupid arched windows. I nearly got shot in the ass on that one and it was supposed to be a quick and dirty in and out deal!" He started to laugh uncontrollably. "And I got actually shot in the ass in New Orleans of all places! Oh my Claire would have loved to see that! Kathleen, she's so sweet, I wouldn't want her to see my backside…way too many scars for a sweet girl like that. How did we get such a sweet girl? Sometimes I just don't understand how such a ruthless woman as my own Claire and a crusty guy like me could have made that beautiful girl." He looked straight at Lee as if he recognized him again. "I guess me and Claire, we made beautiful love the two of us. Oh I miss that woman."

Thank goodness they were near Tex's door. Pretty soon people would come out to see what the noise was and Ray had the distinct impression Tex was saying things he most definitely should not be. He plucked the keycard from Tex's hand. "Come on. Let's get you some water and tucked into bed." They ushered him into the room. As he fell onto the first of the two beds Ray looked to Lee. "Can you go down to my room and get Kat? I don't know if we should leave him alone."

"Sure thing." He shut the door quietly leaving Ray to deal with Tex. He found a glass and filled it with water, trying to ignore Kat's personal things on the bathroom counter. But he couldn't help but notice the distinct lack of makeup and hair gizmos that cluttered the room Dylan and Brie shared with the twins. "Tex, come on, sit up and drink this or you're going to regret it in the morning." He tugged the older man up by his leather vest.

Tex took the glass in a wavery hand. "I don't do regret. I just try to learn from all my experiences, and believe me, I've had many." He took a big gulp of the water and handed it back to Ray. Then he flopped back on the bed. "Thanks kid. Where is my daughter? Did you know that I have a little girl? She's such a beautiful little thing. Spitting image of her mother. And you should see the young guys make fools of themselves over her while she doesn't even notice! Although I hope she's not quite as much of a spitfire. Or maybe I do. I don't know. Shot a man, you know. No father wants to hear his kid had to do that."

"Yes I know, she doesn't take any shit from anyone." God, why did Ray keep ending up in this position, first Lee, now Tex. He hoped Lee got back with Kat soon because he had no intention of cleaning anyone's bodily functions tonight.

"Once these two Chechen goons figured out where I was from, came sniffing around the ranch for me. My Taba took those two out without a second thought, buried them in the backyard, and planted rosebushes over their graves so they would never be found. Oh my Taba, why did I waste so much time being angry with you? I found your message sweetheart, on Kathleen's computer. I know you left it for me. But I still don't know why. I wouldn't have refused the job if I'd known where it was coming from. Why couldn't you have told me my Taba? Why?" Tex continued muttering in some language Ray couldn't understand as he lay on his back.

There was a soft knock and then Kat stuck her head in, Lee right behind her. "Dad?"

"He's pretty out of it." Ray had a feeling Lee would be better off not hearing this stuff. "Hey thanks Lee. I'll see you tomorrow."

Lee glanced at his watch and cringed. "You mean later today? Dude, if you don't make it to PT, I'll come up with a good cover. You can't afford to be late again and now I realize that I owe you big time for babysitting me a few weeks ago."

"Thanks man." Lee closed the door leaving Kat and Ray almost alone. "I didn't want to leave him here. He was fine at the game but his last drink with Slattery must have kicked in on his way home."

"Never could hold it." was all that she said. She shooed him out of the way and took a seat next to her father, who was still muttering.

"We can probably roll him on his side and prop a few pillows behind. I don't know if he's gonna be a hurler."

"I don't know either." Her wide eyed stare had him wondering if she'd ever seen her dad like this. His desire to reassure her warred with his intentions to be gone before he got roped into showering a barely conscious man.

But this was Kat who had done so much for his family. He stood next to one of kitchen barstools anxious that she might not feel comfortable asking for his help. "Do you want me to stay a while? Uh, just in case he needs help to the bathroom or something?"

Kat shook her head and sighed. "No, he's an adult and the kids need you. Help me roll him and then you should get some sleep. You never get enough sleep." He was well aware that what she said was true, but he was surprised she'd noticed. But then again maybe it shouldn't come as a shock. She noticed all the little details like the fact that Sadie kept lying about brushing her teeth or that the only thing the twins never shared was their glasses.

"Alright, but I feel bad though. Leaving you here with a raving lunatic." He tried to sound light but he was serious about it. He didn't have any idea what Tex was capable of. It seemed like a lot more than he'd initially assumed. Just then Tex started raising his voice. "Taba. My beautiful Taba. Come back my Taba."

Curiosity was killing him so as he helped her roll him over he asked. "Who is Taba?" Tex kept saying things but Ray couldn't make out many words he knew.

Kat's head jerked up sharply. "It was his pet name for my mother. Means Sun or Sunshine." It was hard to imagine Tex with a pet name for anyone. Until tonight Ray had never heard him talk about his wife, and everyone from the crew had teased him about having a crush on Dr. Scott.

"I thought you said they were divorced?" His friend Sam's parents had divorced a few years ago and to hear Sam's Dad talk about it, his mother was pure evil.

Kat slumped onto the other bed. "That doesn't mean they weren't still in love."

"I don't understand that. Why would people in love not be together? Plus I don't understand what the heck he's saying. Does it mean anything to you?"

Kat sighed and flung an arm up over her eyes. He tried to focus on what she was saying but he found his attention was captured by the half moon of pale skin revealed where her pink sweatshirt rode up. "Not exactly." He licked his lips. Not exactly what? He'd already forgotten what he had asked. "It's my mother's language. I don't know much more than a few phrases."

Somewhere in his foggy brain he recalled Tex talking about Chechen's earlier. "Your mother's language? Where was she from?"

Kat was toeing off her sneakers. "It's Paiute. She was from Utah. Met my Dad in college when she was working a big PowWow in Vegas and they were hooked on each other from then on." He'd never though toenail polish made any sense but he couldn't take his eyes off the tiny pink tips of her toes as she used one foot to wiggle off first one sock and then switched to do the other. "I can give you the family history lesson later. You'd probably like it, being such a romantic and all. But now I'm tired and I am nothing if not practical. What does watching a drunk person sleep it off entail?"

Tex was starting to quiet down, his barley intelligible mumbling broken by long periods of peaceful breathing. Ray sighed and gave up on helping anymore. He grabbed the trash from under the sink and placed it at the side of the bed. "I think he'll be fine but if he vomits, make sure he doesn't breathe it back in. You should sleep yourself. If you need me, you know where to find me."

"Thanks Ray." For a moment he stared awkwardly at her laying there. Tex was right, he had a beautiful daughter.

"Goodnight Kathleen." He let himself out, making sure the door was shut tightly behind him. As he stuffed his hands in his pockets and trudged back down two floors to the four rooms he and the kids occupied, he wondered about everything he had learned. Was three weeks really not enough time to get a girl to notice him? Were the rules different for people who were friends first? And why would Chechen goons be after Tex in Manila of all places? He set an alarm for 7:45. It would be a miracle if he could actually sleep that late, but he would give it a try. His brain was just plain too tired for anything else.


	13. Sharpen 13 - Ascension

**Ascension, Gorrillaz Feat. Vince Staples**

Miller tipped his chin at Ray. "We can all fit in if Dylan sits on the cart. I don't want to be late." This was the first time he'd been put in charge of other people and he was determined not to screw it up. His stomach had flip-flopped like a dying trout when Master Chief had handed him the schedule this morning and pointed toward the group that included Rob. But other than not talking to Eric, he hadn't made any trouble. Ray pushed the bellman's cart over the gap between the floor and elevator with a loud clatter. "It's the 6th floor."

Ray rolled his eyes at him. "I know. That floor has the laundry room and I spend a lot of time there." The only one of the recruits that Eric knew much about aside from Ray was Rob, but so far the rest seemed like pretty good kids. When he had done his basic, at least half the guys had been total assholes or morons so he supposed his expectations for this group had been low. But, he had met all of these kids here and there and they seemed to know just about as much about what was going on as he did.

"Hey Miller, why do they need so many people to carry stuff? How much can two people have?" Colin asked.

"I don't know. Green just told me to round up several people and some vehicles for the move."

Dylan giggled as she punched Colin in the shoulder lightly, "Who cares why Colin? We'll be the first ones to see the neighborhood that all the officers are moving to. We'll see their houses!"

"You'd like that because you have a crush on Lieutenant Green." Colin winked at Ray.

"I do not!" Miller fought to keep a straight face as her cheeks bloomed bright red. She reminded him of a friend he'd had back in high school. He wondered if she could possibly still be alive.

The doors opened and he glanced at a slip of paper in his pocket. "Room 514." It turned out they didn't need the room number after anyway. Lieutenant Green was standing outside with a clipboard when they got there. Miller's mouth suddenly went dry. What the heck should he say? "Reporting for duty, Sir" sounded so juvenile but "Hey Green, we're here." was probably too casual.

He breathed a quick sigh of relief when Green took the initiative. "Miller, great, you're right on time." He handed the clipboard over. "So Commander Green and I are moving to Pine Street. We don't have much to move, but once we get there we need some help moving furniture around and cleaning the place up. Also a few people are moving into this room and need help." He eyed the group. "Ah, how about you break the group into pairs for the tasks." He reached over and tapped the clipboard. "All the room numbers are listed. It might take a few trips."

He glanced down the list. It didn't look like too big a deal. He penciled in some initials next to different assignments. Ray was looking under his elbow and quietly shook his head when he started to assign Colin and Rob to move Emma Slattery down from the 8th floor to this room. "Bad idea." He said quietly.

Miller turned his back from the rest of the group. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, Colin's got a thing for Emma. He'll be going through her things the minute he's left alone with them." Ray matched his quiet tone.

"Hey Diaz, don't be bribing Miller for the easy jobs!" Colin called out from a few doors down while Rob cackled. Ray idly gave him the finger.

"Yeah, the two of you should be on the no-balls team." Rob laughed at his own joke. "Seriously, you had pussy for the taking at Miss Kitty's last night and neither of you went for it!"

Miller still had a headache from the lack of sleep. At least that was the excuse he was going with as he said, "Well I just didn't have the patience last night. Waiting for a go on your mom was like waiting in line for the Pirates of the Caribbean." Shit, he probably shouldn't have said that. Aside from the fact it was lame, it was probably highly inappropriate too. And really, he didn't need to be making enemies. But after a pause, both Colin and Rob burst out laughing along with the rest of the group.

"Jeez Miller, loosen up!" Rob shook his head. "Why are you always on my case?" Always on his case? Maybe because the guy was a jerk.

Dylan rolled her eyes. "None of you have a pair as far as I can tell. I'll take Ray and we'll go move Kat's stuff up here."

Ray pointed toward the next line of the clipboard. "We should move Simpson-Slattery and his wife first. Trust me Dylan, we need to wait until noon at the earliest to bother Tex today."

By the end of the day they had moved so many people from the hotel to houses, between rooms at the hotel, and even from one hotel to another that Ray's arms felt like rubber. He collapsed onto the green strip in front of the house Lieutenant Granderson and the strange hippie woman were moving into. She'd been so protective of her equipment, which as far as Ray was concerned was just a jumble of wires and strange green strips of metal, that she rode back and forth in the van with him and Dylan to keep an eye on it. Dylan had given the woman so many side eye glances that Ray had begun to wonder if her crush wasn't actually on Commander Green. He'd left her inside getting advice from Val about piercing her belly button.

Debbie Foster came out of the Green's new house across the street. "What are you doing out here Ray? Don't you have a mess of kids to get home to?"

He smiled. She seemed like such a nice lady. "Just scheming for how I can contract them out as labor to cover their expenses. I never knew kids were so expensive. Now I feel guilty for every time I begged my mother for a dime to put in the gumball machine at the grocery store." At the thought of his own mother, his chest went hollow. He hadn't seen her since the day he left for camp. The last time they had talked she'd told him to stay put, that it was safer at camp.

Debbie rocked back on her heels as she laughed heartily. "So you need a job? I might be able to help with that." Something about the way she offered help before she even knew how she'd give it reminded him of Commander Foster-Green. "Are you handy? I don't think my son-in-law knows how to do much around a house."

He held out a hand and wavered it. "I know a little bit."

She came across to join him at the curb. "How about painting? Have you ever painted a room before?"

He wondered if the kids would understand if he spent some of his unassigned time on another job. Well if they wanted school uniforms and book fees they were going to have to understand. "Does it pay well? I could learn. I'm a hard worker."

Debbie laughed again, this time ending with an abrupt snort. "I have no doubt of that. I know how much work it is to help kids grow up."

He liked the way she put that. Sometimes it did feel like he was only there on the sidelines of the family, waiting at the fringe just in case something went wrong on their paths to adulthood. Most people who learned about the kids responded by insisting that they couldn't imagine dealing with so many kids or asked him how in the world he managed. They just didn't seem to get it that he needed the kids more than they needed him. "They are good kids."

She pressed her lips together and nodded. "Have you been able to get in touch with any of their families?" Not many people had asked him that either. It was almost as if they didn't want to create false hope.

"No, we've left a trail of notes and messages in our wake but at this point, unless we undertake a massive roadtrip, I don't think we're likely to find them anytime soon."

Debbie bit her lip as she looked back across the street toward the house she Danny and Kara were about to spend their first night in. Aside from the lack of cars, Ray imagined that the neighborhood had probably looked pretty similar before the outbreak. As darkness fell it got easier to imagine that the chaos they'd all adapted to had never happened. Finally she sighed and turned back toward him. "I've been thinking about what I'm going to say for a few days now. I'm telling you that so you know that what I'm offering is sincere. Do you have a plan for when you are deployed?"

Ray's stomach lurched in panic. Was she suggesting he pawn off the kids like an unwanted litter of kittens so that he could escape to sea? Or maybe she wanted some cheap farm labor? He gripped his keys in an effort to keep from saying something rude. "I'm still figuring that out."

Debbie didn't seem to notice his visceral response but her voice did soften as she said, "I have a farm you know, acres and acres of land, room for 200 head of dairy cattle, four bedrooms plus a bunkhouse. And I've done the mom thing before. I won't claim to be a raging success as a parent, but all my kids turned out pretty good, despite my influence. I could offer you all a good place to grow up. It's a safe and quiet there. The kids could get away from all.." She waved her hand in the general direction of downtown. "..this."

"That's really nice of you Mrs. Foster. But I don't know when I'll even be going yet."

She smiled and nodded and he had the feeling that she could see exactly how conflicted he was feeling. He could tell that she'd done the mom thing before. "Plus, you should know that the Navy isn't the only option for you either. It would be ok if you wanted to come live on the farm and be a kid a little longer too. I won't be headed back there until after Kara gets her bearings with the baby, but you and the kids can go anytime. Danny's old friend, Mr. Grazinski, well now I guess now he's my friend too, he has already decided that he's going to head there soon and he would be happy to help you. Danny says he used to have a whole bunch of kids of his own."

"Uh, thanks Mrs. Foster. That's good to know." He said it to be polite, but deep down he was relieved that someone could acknowledge that he might not want all the responsibility that had been thrust on him. He loved the kids and he had no intention of breaking them up and sending them off with new families. But sometimes he did want to go back to not worrying about much beyond finishing school and goofing off with his friends. "I'll think about it."

She patted his shoulder and he ached for his own mom. If he could just hug her one more time and thank her for everything. "Yeah, think about it. I just, well, I had to offer. I had my oldest, Eric, very young. And while I was instantly in love with that baby, I still remember the envy I felt when my friends carried on their carefree ways while I had to take on the responsibility of parenting. By the time I was old enough to realize that I needed friends and hobbies and my own space too, I wasn't so young anymore. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's ok to put yourself first. It's clear you love those kids and they love you. But don't be afraid to ask for help, because people are here for you, for all of you." A wave of shame for his earlier resentment kept him rooted to the spot.

"I will think about it, really. And I would be interested in the job, if it can be done before I go." He tried to reassure her. But if he was honest with himself, he had been putting it off. Finding a new guardian for the kids felt like abandoning them. He recalled what the guys had said last night about how hard it was to start relationships when they weren't physically present. "Mrs. Foster, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything."

"Was it bad for you, when your husband was always away and stuff? Was that what drove you to.."

She didn't let him finish. "No, that was the life and I knew it and it was fine. But losing my husband and son? That put me over the edge. So whatever you do, do your best to stay alive, ok?"

He flashed her a toothy grin. "That's just about the only thing I have planned for sure right now."


	14. Sharpen 14 - Salty Dog

**Salty Dog, Mississippi John Hurt**

Jeter sighed. He knew in his heart that Senior Chief Wolf Taylor wasn't going to give him too much resistance, but if there was anything about the military that he had come to hate in his 26 years of service it was God be damned online training requirements. He happily shepherded the most out of shape guys to the gym for daily PT. He informed men when they had to move their family yet again. He counseled homesick teens. He informed widows of their spouse's deaths. But he hated, from the depths of his being, sitting in front of a computer answering questions or, even worse, watching animated videos, about how to behave. So when Slattery had come and asked him to tell Wolf he had 24 hours to complete his SAPR training or he'd have to take him off the active roster, he said he could get it done. But now, he really wished he had told Slattery that Wolf wasn't really his guy so Slattery should tell him himself.

Senior Chief Taylor had impressed him since coming aboard. The Nathan James crew had actually been unusually light on higher ranked enlisted personnel so it was nice to have another good example, in addition to SCPO Lynn and CHC Rios for what the younger crew should aspire to. Despite his obvious greater experience and numerous skills, Wolf had integrated himself into the special teams very well and even helped push Granderson to develop as a leader without being too obvious about it. He had quickly become someone who could be relied upon. So, that was why he was dreading the conversation they needed to have.

Many years ago, Russ had learned that the best way to have a come to Jesus talk with someone relatively senior, was to let them admit they knew they were neglecting something before he gave them an order. In this case though, he really couldn't issue orders to Taylor as in the absence of contact from the Australian Navy, he was acting independently. But, Slattery had been firm. This might be a new day and age, but some things were universally true. And the fact that a large number of men and women working in close quarters could create situations that might be problematic for their mission was not lost on anyone after what had happened with the Greens at Gitmo.

Of course, Taylor was a popular guy and if he wasn't being roped into teaching something or out with the teams, he was usually surrounded by younger men and women picking his brain. Right now he was sitting at a lunch table, enjoying a bowl of Bacon's latest pickings-are-slim offering, bean soup with ham hocks and greens...the same thing they'd had for lunch every day for a week. Every single chair around him was taken so Russ sat with his back to him. It was easy to follow his conversation with his distinctive accent.

"So, how long have you been in the US?" A civilian woman who worked mornings in the kitchens in exchange for meals asked him.

"Well, I came over in April this time. It was supposed to be a quick three month training thing but now I've been here ten months. I've been here many times before that too. You know the wars in the middle east are very international. This was my third trip to Little Creek to run a training course in specialized martial arts."

Russ couldn't see the woman's face without turning to stare but he could hear the awe in her voice. "Ohhh so like Karate?" He imagined her tossing her long blond hair and leaning forward to show more cleavage. They all did that kind of thing around Wolf.

"Well, Tae Kwon Do to be exact, but I dabble in other stuff." He was so modest. Russ rolled his eyes. The man was a walking weapon.

Another camp follower chimed in. "So it takes more than one blow to bring you down, huh?" Oh Jesus. Russ was having a hard time not laughing.

"It was nice meeting you ladies but I believe I am late for a lunch meeting. Excuse me." Russ heard the chair scrap back. The women continued to giggle. This was exactly why Russ thought it was foolish to insist on sexual harassment training for him. The man was nothing if not a gentleman already. Now if only he could get some of the young guys to see how that made the women flock to him, maybe they would straighten up. An idea began to percolate in his mind.

"Master Chief." A large body stood by his elbow. "Are you ready for our meeting?"

Russ couldn't help but smile at the pained expression on Wolf's face as he looked with sorrow on his half eaten lunch. "Let's talk while we eat." He motioned meaningfully with his eyes at the women behind them.

Wolf folded himself into a chair opposite him. "I can't decide if I want more of this soup or not. My body is excited to eat but my mouth is bored." He took a sip of milk and sighed. "You know in Australia we get beer with meals, even on duty."

"I know. I started in the Pacific Fleet." He remembered his early days, jumping from ship to ship, supporting the Vietnam war effort with littoral campaigns back when he was just a Seaman and then patrolling in the eighties after he moved up the chain.

"I didn't know, although I had guessed you'd been around since Vietnam."

"I have indeed. And a lot has changed." Russ set down his spoon. To be honest, he was bored with his lunch too. Plus, it wouldn't be right to give Wolf a hard time. The man needed help defending against sexual harassment himself, not the other way around. But Slattery was the boss, not him so.. "For one thing, we have all this training we have to do, on top of our jobs. Back in those days we focused on training to stay alive."

Wolf sighed and tipped back in his chair. "You're here to remind me to go and do that training Slattery was on my case about, aren't you? You know, back in Australia we just treat women like real people and don't have to do all this crap."

"Yes, but I have a proposition for you, if you're willing." He'd float it by him and get his buy in first. If he was willing to take on the task then they'd run it past Slattery and see what he thought.

"Man to man, I used to be able to tell if a recruit was going to turn out to be an asshole after the first few days. But now I don't have enough contact with them to get to know them. And for most of those guys that are idiots, no training video is going to change them. In fact, at best it teaches them how to go underground with it. And for the rest, if we do our part to model good behavior, most of them catch on real quick. So, how would you feel about doing a little research for me, so that when complaints come, which as you know they will the minute we're on the ship and people are bored, I know who to really keep an eye on?"

Wolf ran a hand down his face. "What do you have in mind? I'm not up for taking a bunch of puppies out drinking and presenting them with opportunities to disgrace themselves."

"You run the training session for them and get to know them a little. I'll mark you off for watching the video and I'll get better perspective, via your very brief report. At the same time, You'll have something to do while the damn thing plays. It's a win-win for us both."

Heads turned as Wolf released a booming laugh. "We have deal. Just tell me where and when."

Two days later he ushered 48 recruits into one of the courtrooms and connected a laptop to the projector. After introducing himself he stood to the side of the room and advised, "I'm going to be honest with you all, I think this training boils down to one thing, treat all people with respect and dignity." A few people rolled their eyes but only one openly scoffed out loud. "So as you watch the video and we go through the slides I want you to remember two things. Number 1, the only way to tell the good from the bad, on the battle field, in your relationships, and in your career, is by peoples' words and actions. Number two, the only person you have control over is yourself. Therefore, don't be an asshole and don't associate with assholes and you'll go far." He clicked the pointer to bring up the 1st slide and they burst into laughter. Confused, he turned around and read the title of the video Jeter had given him to play, "Sexual Harassment Made Simple." And found himself laughing too.

"Is that a user's guide?" a chubby guy in the back row asked."

"Alright, alright, settle down, my point is made. This is a tricky subject and a lot of it comes down to common sense. Be situationally aware about how your actions impact others mates. We have a lot of important work to do in the world and we don't have time to be bogged down protecting our reputation."

He pressed play and took a seat along the wall where he could observe the students. A few hours later he passed Jeter a slip of paper before starting evening PT. There was only one name on it, the chubby jerk from the back row, Rob Verner.


	15. Sharpen 15 - Hole in My Heart

**Hole in My Heart, Mr. Sipp**

Kat had just finished PT and was stretching by the fountain. Beside her, Bertrise and Emma were discussing potential dates for the baby shower Commander Garnett was setting up for the Greens. "He is pretty handsome." Emma giggled, referring to Javier Cruz, "But he's way too old for me. My father has had enough stress over Riley so I need to pick someone more appropriate. What do you think about Lee?"

Bertrise considered for a moment. "Well, he is a very nice guy as far as I can tell. But he's a quiet one. If you two suit it would have to be an opposites attract kind of thing."

Emma agreed. "I know, right? But I was thinking he might be lonely. Maybe he'd like someone bright and energetic in his life. Besides, he'll only be around a few weeks so if it doesn't turn into anything, it will be easy to let go."

Kat leaned forward over her outstretched leg. "To hear Ray complain about it, I thought for sure Colin would have asked you already though."

"Colin? No, he hasn't said anything. Why? Did you want to go with him? I can set that up if you want. I just kind of assumed that you would be going with Ray.."

Kat's head shot up from where she was bent over the other knee causing her already over tired abs to cramp in agony. "Ray? Why would you think that?"

Emma smiled knowingly. "Oh, a little sensitive on that topic, are we? I was going to say Ray AND the kids but you know, I guess we know what you're thinking of now." She wasn't sensitive to the topic! She was just worried that people were talking about her was all, right? If people started taking an interest in her they might start poking into her past and they might realize that her father hadn't been completely honest with Captain Chandler. Where would that leave her? Homeless, that's where.

"Yeah, no, it's a baby shower. I don't think we need dates anyway. I think we need to find presents that are suitable for a baby. I'll be too busy having a scavenger hunt with the kids to find all the things on the list that Commander Garnett gave me to prepare for a date. Besides, I don't have time for a dress and hair, and all that stuff. I have people depending on me."

Emma rolled her eyes. "You are the least girly girl I have ever met! And that's saying a lot considering the sporty chicks I hung out with at home. Commander Garnett says there will be dancing and drinks, that means it is a great excuse to get dressed up nice. You don't want to go and then be the only girl without a date, do you? What did you think you would do, wear jeans to a party?"

"Oh the scandal!" She covered her mouth in mock horror. "I seriously just can't be bothered worrying about that kind of stuff. Plus, if I don't find something called a Pack'n'Play, there will be trouble for certain."

"Humph." Bertrise slapped one hand on her hip. She looked like she was about to chastise Kat for something, probably not taking the chances while she had them, but she was interrupted by Tex. His gray tee was dripping with a wide ring of sweat and he had his long hair in a ponytail.

"Hey Mr. Nolan!" Emma smiled broadly. "How are you today Sir?"

"I'm doing great girls. Boy that Commander Garnett sure likes to work up a sweat." He rubbed one wrist, encased in a terry sweat band, across his forehead. Kat cringed at the sight of it. The other girls must think her dad was such a nerd. "How are you girls? What are you up to today?"

"We were just talking to Kat about Commander Green's baby shower. She doesn't want to bring a date."

Tex turned his eyes to her, the corners crinkling in amusement. "I'd be your date honey."

Kat turned and smirked at Emma. "See, I don't need a date."

"..But I was thinking of asking this woman I met in line when I registered my new address at the post office yesterday. And if she falls through, I met a nice lady doing boot repair in the market the day before that. Sorry, you're on your own for this one."

Why? Why did everyone think she needed a date? "I am perfectly happy going by myself. Besides, like I said, I am more concerned with the gifting of baby gear. What the heck is a breast pump and why is it so expensive?"

Beneath his shaggy beard Tex blanched. "And this is when I say see you girls later. Can we get lunch together Kat? I need to go over some, ah, family stuff with you."

Her mind raced. Was he going to tell her what the heck those messages were about? Or apologize for drunkenly bringing up his past life the other night and risking the comfortable place they'd create for themselves here? She met his gaze but his expression was carefully neutral. "Sure Dad. I just need to be ready to take over the kids around 1300. Chaos breaks out if they are left along too long."

"Fine with me. I'll see you later then."

After he left Bertrise and Emma exchanged a look that Kat was sure spelled trouble. "You know what? We are going to do you a favor. We'll help you with the baby shower shopping."

Kat looked between the two of them. "I have a long list of stuff to get. Commander Garnett is collecting funds from the crew for it and she seems to think we'll have hundreds. What's the catch?"

Emma grinned, sensing victory. "With three of us, the list will be no problem."

She appealed to Bertrise. "There has to be a catch. You two have better things to do when you're not training than help me do errands."

Bertrise caved. "Well, there is one condition. We will help you if you let us pick a dress for you and do your hair and stuff."

Kat considered the offer. She had been serious when she said she didn't have time for getting dressed up. Plus there was the fact that she had practically no money and no idea how to do that kind of stuff. She bit her lip.

"Come on Kat. Loosen up. It will be fun." Emma entreated.

She threw up her hands. "Ok fine, but the dress has to be decent and the make up natural. And I am still not going with a date and I'm never dancing." She really needed the help with the shopping anyways. The market was nearly impossible with the kids in tow.

Bertrise and Emma cheered. "Never say never! You will have a blast. We promise."


	16. Sharpen 16 - No Te Limitas, Baby

**No Te Limitas, Baby, Prynce El Armamentos**

Ray parked the car between two police cruisers facing a large white building with oversized square clerestory windows and checked the address from the slip of paper in his pocket again. Yep, Forrest Park, this was the right place. There was no red barn or white fences here, not at all what he'd envisioned the stables would look like. Kat peered out the window, a confused pinch in her brow. "I thought you said we were going on a picnic to make plans for the kids? This looks like an airplane hanger."

He nodded. "Yeah but it's only 10 o'clock. I thought you might want to see this first." He opened the door and a chilly gust of air made him shiver despite his hooded sweatshirt and fleece coat. When Commander Foster-Green had promised him it would be a beautiful day, she'd forgotten to mention it would be so cold. He'd never get used to this weather. "You'll probably want your coat."

He slid out of the car just in time to see Officer Gund step out of the car next to them. Of course he was on Kat's side and held her door for her. Ray thought he'd made his intentions pretty clear when he'd sucked up his pride and asked the guy for help, but apparently that wouldn't stop Mr. Handsome from laying on the charm. Officer Gund was everything that Ray was not, tall, blond, muscular, educated, and well spoken.

"Kat, so glad you could make it!" The man smiled warmly. "From what Ray has told me, you're really going to like the gentlemen inside."

"Officer Gund! Now I'm really curious. Is Ray having you put me in jail or teach me pole dancing?" She said it in a light and joking tone but there was just a hint of real nervousness in her wide eyes.

"Please, I'm off duty, you should really call me Lance."

"Well Lance it is then." She glanced over at Raymwho just barely escaped being caught mocking the name. "Are either of you going to tell me what this is about?" Ray pocketed the keys and came over to her side and gestured for her and Lance to lead the way.

"Well, when Raymond here.."

"It's actually Raymón, but go on." He knew he puffed up like a silly rooster but he couldn't help it. He liked it when she corrected Lance, even with her terrible accent.

"Well a few days ago he came down to the station and asked me.."

Kat interrupted Lance to turn on Ray, her green eyes flashing. "I though you said you needed to go there because we got a parking ticket?"

Lance was apparently not as quick on the uptake as Ray had assumed. Either that or he had it in for him because he burst out laughing. "These days we've got much more important stuff to do than give out parking tickets!"

She scowled at Ray. "Then you'd better have a good explanation for what you spent the twenty bucks on."

Dammit Lance! He couldn't very well tell her he'd bought toys to occupy the little kids at the upcoming party so that she could have more fun. It would totally ruin the surprise. His mind raced but he couldn't think of a good answer. "Let's not keep Lance waiting. I'll explain later."

For his part Lance just raised a brow at him but said no more on the subject. "Come on, I'll show you inside." He led them around a woodchip path that had been worn through to the mud and dirt months ago. As they rounded the corner of the building Ray saw why there hadn't been any fences out front. The other side of the building opened to a small corral where eight horses milled about in groups of two or three.

Kat's gasp of pleasure destroyed any lingering ill will toward his co-conspirator that he might have been holding on to. "Oh my gosh! Are these the patrol horses?"

"Some of them." Lance shrugged. "We have about twenty but the rest of them are at a different barn a little farther out of the city. But these guys could really use some attention, if you want to come by occasionally."

A small man with a faded Houston Astros cap pulled low over shaggy dark hair and a heavy mustache came over. "Hola Lance. Is this the boy you talked about earlier?"

Ray stuck out his hand. "Hola, soy Ray y esta es Kat. Estamos aquí para visitar con los caballos."

The man waved an arm to indicate the pen and stalls. "Bien entra entonces. Llame Memo si me necesitas."

Kat tugged on his arm. "What did you say? Can I go meet them?" Any hard feelings that she might have had about her twenty dollars were clearly gone. It took him a few seconds to process that they'd spoken in Spanish and she wouldn't understand.

"Ah, he says his name is Memo and we can just call him if we need him."

Memo stuck out his hand. "Kat is it? Come on, I'll introduce you to the team." He led her away towards the horses leaving Ray standing next to Lance, awkwardly watching as she smiled and charmed the older man.

The silence started to eat at Ray. "So, I guess I should thank you for letting us come here. I'm sure she's going to want to bring all the littles now."

Lance just raised a brow again. "You've got a thing for her, don't you?" he asked.

Ray kicked the dust at his feet. "Is it that obvious?"

He shook his head. "No, but sometimes things are just easier to see as an outsider. I was under the impression you were training to join up with Chandler when you turn 18. When's that going to happen?"

Ray sighed. For all he was eager to do something useful, he wished he could be doing it here in St. Louis. "Next week."

Lance jerked his chin toward where Kat was gushing over a tall gray horse. "Well then, unless you're also more into my charms than you've let on, I guess you better get over there."

He stepped back against the fence. "Ah, I don't know much about horses. Better I stay here and watch, from a safe distance."

Lance covered his perfect square jaw line with his hand to stifle his giggles. "You brought her down here but you're afraid of horses? Oh my God, you are sooooo young. Come on. They don't bite." Ray reluctantly followed as Lance ducked under a metal railing and entered the small corral. "Hey Kat, your friend here needs a lesson in horse manners. You better give him the 101." Ray gave the big animals a wide berth as he followed.

He led Ray to where Kat was holding her hand out and letting a big gray snarfle up old gnarly carrots from her hand. "You like that don't you, you big sweetie." Kat crooned in a voice she usually reserved for the kids. Ray watched as she stroked a hand over its broad face. She didn't even seem afraid of the teeth which looked to Ray like they could chop her hand off.

Kat reached out a hand. "Come up closer and pet him like this." She flattened her hand against the animal's cheek and Ray copied her, hoping she wouldn't see how much his fingers were shaking. The smooth fur was warm and unexpectedly firm under his fingers. And it was also moving because the animal was chewing. But it was hard to think because she was standing so close that he could feel the heat of her body next to his. The horse swung its head toward them and he grabbed her shoulders, about to move her out of its way. "It's ok. Really. He's very gentle his name is even Cookie..well it's something that means cookie."

"Galleta?" Ray suggested. "He?" He looked underneath and came up confused.

"What are you looking for?" Kat asked.

Ray stammered. "Ah, is this horse a male or female?"

"They are all male. Can't you tell?" He blushed. This was certainly not the conversation he'd envisioned for this morning, but no matter how much he'd already figured out that Kat was not prudish, he could not bring himself to say bolas in her presence without blushing.

"It is kind of a sissy name for such a big guy."

"He's been gelded." Lance made a scissors motion with his fingers and Ray cringed as he got the gist of what he meant. "Well, now that you're acquainted with each other's genitalia, I've got to get back to work. Just let Memo know when you're going."

Kat looked up from where she was gathering another carrot. "Bye Lance! And thanks for this. You don't know how happy I am to be around horses again."

"Don't thank me. Thank Ray, it was his idea." He winked at Ray. "Buena suerte."

"Thanks Lance." He had to admit, he seemed like a pretty cool guy after all. And it would be good for Kat to know a few people not associated with the Navy just in case the Michener Presidency ever went south.

She slapped a carrot into his hand. "The easiest way to make friends with a horse is through his stomach."

It took everything in him not to hand that carrot right back to her. "I don't know. How do they tell the difference between your hand and the carrot?"

Kat's laugh twisted him in just the right way. This was why he'd dreamed up this crazy outing, just to hear her so relaxed. "The world may have gone crazy, but last time I checked, horses were still vegetarian."

"Well duh!" He laughed too and it felt good. "But it can't see with its eyes on the side of its head like that."

She shook her head at him. "You are so over thinking this. Look," She wedged herself between him and the horse and took his hand, unfurling his fingers so the carrot laid across his open palm. "Just keep your fingers out of the way." She guided his arm out under the horse's nose. The giant made a snuffling noise and then put it's big whiskery lips on Ray's palm, feeling around for the carrot. He almost jerked his hand back but she held it firm. Between the fruity scent of her hair and the anticipation of half inch wide teeth grinding his hand to a pulp, he felt like he might explode with nervous anticipation.

The horse wiggled the carrot into it's mouth with it's big lips and lifted it away. "Dios, it's soft!" He couldn't believe the giant animal was so gentle.

Kat dropped his hand, turning a little to grin at him. "See, there's nothing to it!"

He smiled, if only to keep her standing there, one side running along against him, thanking the Lord that today he'd worn jeans. "There is if you've never been this close to a horse before."

Kat gestured to the other horses. "Come on, it's only fair to spread the love around."

After they had fed each one and Kat had done her sweet talking to them they ended up back at the large gray. She kissed it and rubbed its ears. He cocked his head to the side, considering for a minute. "I don't get it. Why do you like horses so much? Why not cats or dogs? They are great pets too. I had a bird that could say hello once. That was pretty fun. So why horses?"

Kat grinned. "Because horses aren't pets. They aren't like other animals. They are never truly tame. Isn't that right boy?" She scratched between the big animal's ears and it snorted, pushing its head against her hand. "Like a cat, horses are with you because they choose to be. Maybe even more so because they are perfectly capable of knocking down the fences and stables we put them in. But they are loyal like a dog. Once you bond with a horse, it will remember you for life. A horse could easily overpower you but it chooses not to because it is an intelligent and gentle being. They do work for us, letting us ride them or pulling carts out of the good of their heart. A horse is a friend and a companion. You can love one and it will love you, but you can never own it like you can other pets."

Ray watched her stroke her hands down the flanks of the horse. "But the horse is getting something from you. Who wouldn't pull a cart to get a rub down like that?" As soon as his ears heard what he said he felt a blush race up his neck. He stepped a little further around the side of the horse so she couldn't see him as well.

"You're ok where you are, but don't step behind him." So much for looking casual.

"Why not?"

Kat stood on her tiptoes to meet his eyes over the back of the animal. "Because horses don't like people sneaking up behind them. They are liable to kick you. Look at those thighs and think about how much damage that could cause." She frowned. "Officer Gund did say that the stables were getting a bit neglected because they didn't have enough people to care for them. Grab that rubber looking brush thing." She pointed toward a bucket on his side of the horse.

He picked up a funny oval thing with a leather hand strap across the top. It had little teeth that reminded him of a fancy pair of scissors his mother used to have. "This one?"

"Yeah, that's the curry comb. Put it over your hand and use it to brush his coat in little circles." She waved one hand in the air to demonstrate. "Just start here, at the withers, and work your way back."

He began brushing. "Does he like this?"

"Wouldn't you?" He didn't know about the funny rubber brush, but if Kat ran her hands over him like she was demonstrating? Hell yeah, he would love it. The thought sent his imagination where it shouldn't go. Good thing he was on the opposite side of the horse. "Here, you do that and I'll clean its feet. They should be checked every day but I'd guess he's not getting that regularly."

He brushed in silence for a while. Every now and then the horse would turn his heavy neck toward Ray and watch him with one long lashed eye. He was sure it could sense his nervousness. Why couldn't she love birds? He'd trained his $12 budgie to say hello and goodbye and sit on his shoulder when he was 10. The kids would love a bird and they could live off of kitchen scraps. "How much does a bale of hay like those over there cost?"

She pursed her lips. "I don't know what it costs now, but I'd guess that size there averaged about $30 bucks before." Holy cow! He barely earned $30 a day right now. That was a lot for an animal you couldn't eat or shear or get eggs from. "Why Ray? Have you decided you want to get the kids a horse?"

He laughed, startling the horse. It jerked it's head up and stared at him with that big deep eye. "No! I was just curious. I suppose that Luna and Sadie will get horse crazy at some point. Don't all little girls?"

She shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not." My best friend back in Mississippi was a 4-H queen but she was afraid of horses. So you're not the only one."

He ducked his head to brush down the back thigh part of the horse. "I'm not afraid of horses anymore."

She looked up as she set down its front hoof. "Liar." Her grin was infectious

"Well, maybe a little." Galleta choose that moment to stomp one of his feet impatiently and shy away from the brush. Startled, Ray dropped the brush and stepped back, dumping over the bucket of tools.

The clatter brought Memo out of the barn. "You kids doing ok?"

Kat smiled broadly. "We're fine. Ray just brushed a little to close."

Memo laughed loudly. "Ah ha, tengo cuidado mi amigo o el cabello pensará que tu es su novia!"

"Thanks, got it." He moved to brush the peak of its back instead.

Kat scrunched up her nose. "Novia is girlfriend right?"

His pulse began to thrum insistently. He had a feeling where she was going with this and he didn't exactly want to have the conversation yet. "Ah it's a bit more serious than just a girlfriend, more like fiance. He warned me not to get too far under the horse or it would make me it's girlfriend."

Kat threw her head back and laughed. "He can't have him Memo, he's already mine!" Ray knew she was talking about the horse, especially when she began murmuring in its ears again, but he accepted the stage wink he got from Memo all the same.

By the time they were done with three different brushes, a towel, and a sugar cube, Kat was finally ready to eat lunch. They thanked Memo and headed back out to the car. "Can you believe it? He said I could have a job anytime! After the kids start school I am totally going to take him up on that!"

Kat chattered all the way to the picnic shelter by the pond where he had planned to have lunch. "Think you're warm enough to eat outside?"

She turned her freckled cheeks up to the sun. "Oh yeah. I love the winter sun because it doesn't sunburn me."

"Sunburn? Never had one but I hear they hurt." Kat smacked his shoulder. She did that at least twice a day and he might even be getting a permanent bruise there. But then again, he might just tease her more so she'd do it again. "Ow! I can't help it if I'm naturally more sun tolerant."

Kat's phone chimed and she pulled it out of her back pocket. "Ug, my Dad. I'll meet you over there in a minute."


	17. Chapter 17 - This Kiss

**This Kiss, Faith Hill**

Ray left her in the car and went to gather the small cooler with their lunches. The menu was kind of strange, cold bean dip and crackers, apples, and Cheetos with a couple cans of juice, but Bacon had said they were temporarily out of lunch meat so it was that or peanut butter. Admittedly, peanut butter sandwiches on Bacon's fresh bread were pretty good, but he still couldn't bring himself to voluntarily pick peanut butter. He carried it down a short incline to a picnic table under a large tree. He bet that in the summer the leaves of the tree created a wonderful shade here. Even now, with the large branches twisting overhead and almost meeting the incline behind, it was sort of like a natural pergola.

After he set the food out he sat on the side that allowed him to look back up at the car. With all the glare from the old chrome and cracked windshield he could hardly see Kat, but he caught snippets of her voice. "What do you want me to say Dad? It's alright. Like I told you yesterday, I get it." Something had stirred her up for sure. There went his plans for the rest of their day off. "Well are you trying to get me bitchy?" Feeling like he was snooping he turned the other way toward the small pond. There was a little dock on the other side and a few paddle boats floated aimlessly around the lake. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll see you for dinner." He sighed, Rios had recommended this spot for a nice private picnic and now Tex may have ruined his chances of it ending the way he'd planned.

He heard Kat's footsteps in the dry leaves of the slope. "Everything OK with your Dad?"

She shrugged. "I guess so." She plunked down beside him and dropped the phone on the table, clearly worked up. "He just wanted to talk about my living arrangements. Apparently he's suddenly decided that he doesn't like the idea of me living alone when he's gone. As if he should get any kind of say in it anyway! But technically I guess he does because he says that if I want to go it on my own I have to move over to the other building and take a roommate." She tossed her loose hair over her shoulder and reached for a can of juice. "I've argued that I need to be close to the kids. But I guess I'm assuming they will stay in the hotel when you are gone. And that you still want my help."

He nodded but really, sometimes he was quite jealous of her living situation. She had her own room and the freedom to do what she wanted. She got to be part of the group with the kids but at the same time, she had the safety net of a parent. Still, it had to be weird having a parent who was hardly around. "I know it probably seems stifling, but you don't know how good you have it to have your dad around, wanting to take care of you."

"Are you serious Ray?" Desmadre! She clearly didn't take that as the invitation to accept the bad with the good the way he had intended. "Are you fucking serious? You're going to defend him?" He cringed. This really wasn't going the way he'd hoped.

She watched as Ray's face transformed from concern to annoyance. "I am. He's only going away again to do this job so he can support you. You can't blame the guy for worrying when he's not here to protect you."

Deep down, she knew he was trying to help but her temper was still boiling so it almost didn't matter what he said. She just needed a few minutes to get over her disappointment in Tex and then she'd be fine. But damnit. If Ray was going to stick up for Tex instead of her, he deserved every iota of her outburst! "You know what, just go away!" Kat slammed her hand down on the picnic table and then winced as the pain of the impact shot back through her arm. "You guys are all alike. You think that life stops when you go on a trip. That women are like toys that get put on the shelf, just sitting quietly until you come home to play with us again. Well that's not how it works Mr. If you go, you're going to miss stuff. Lots of stuff. Good stuff. Important stuff." He stared at her, open mouthed and she knew she was over reacting but still, sometimes she just needed to yell a little, to get it out of her system.

But instead of fighting back a silly grin crept onto his face. "Jeez Kat, I didn't know you cared so much." Ray leaned forward and propped his chin on his knuckles.

"Not you, you idiot." Except it was him too. "My father. He comes by, barely even back from the last trip to say oh Kitty Kat, by the way I've got to go. The world is a dangerous place and it's my job to make it better. Oh and as an after thought, you'll be ok here, right? You don't mind moving so that I can worry less, do you?" She tore the top off the bag of crackers with a satisfying rip.

"Your dad calls you Kitty Kat?" Oh how she'd like to wipe that stupid smirk off his face. It was infuriating how he didn't argue back.

"Arrgggg! That's not the point Ray!" She stalked around the table, pulling lunch items out of the cooler.

"Ok, explain it to us unfeeling Neanderthals then." When had Ray become her confidant? She ought to be having a bitch fest about this with Emma and Bertrise, not Ray. But somehow she was already calming down.

"What the hell am I supposed to say to him, huh? I can't exactly be like gee wiz Dad, I know saving the world is important but I would really like you to sit around here doing nothing with me instead. Can I?" She cracked open her drink can and took a large gulp.

Ray cocked a brow at her. "Do you really want me to answer that honestly?"

Kat slumped backwards onto the picnic bench beside him, leaning her back against the tabletop so she could see his face, out of steam. "I don't need you to answer it. It would break his heart. He loves the life. And he's damn good at it." Ray was going too, and she'd be left behind, just as her father had predicted. "If I asked him to stay home, he'd do it. He did it for a while for my mother. And you know what? It was a disaster. That's what lead them to divorce. I can't ask it of him, and I know it, even if he doesn't."

She looked into his dark eyes. It was silly, really, her throwing a fit when all the kids who actually depended on him were weathering his imminent departure so well, but now that she was on a roll. "I mean, he might think that we don't need him here, but we do. And I don't mind so much that he's away as I just want him to accept that I have to make my own life here while he's gone." The intense look in his eyes did something funny to her pulse.

"Kat."

"Some people like more excitement, more travel than others. I get that. Heck I.."

"Kat."

"I've even thought that I might like that kind of work someday. Well not the shooting at people part but the figuring out puzzles while seeing the world part and.."

"Kathleen!"

"What?"

"Shut up."

She stopped cold for a second and it took a second to register what he'd said. Ray might be an idiot sometimes but he was rarely an outright jerk. "Well you don't have to be so rude about it Ray. You men are all alike you know. You don't care what other people think. You just do whatever…"

"Cierra tu boca!"

"What? If you try to boss me around again I'll.."

He framed her face in his hands. "Shut up so I can kiss you now!"

"What?"

"You heard me."

She stared at him, stunned. Had she really heard that right? Ray wanted to kiss her? Well he was leaning toward her and his eyes looked kind of sleepy. Oh my god, had the juice they had been drinking gone bad? Maybe she was drunk. If this was some kind of cruel..

His lips were warm. She didn't have that much experience to compare to, but they seemed un-naturally hot, and delicious. She would have expected him to taste like cheetos and gym socks and other teenage boy stuff but no, Ray was like coffee and chocolate and something spicy all mixed together. She closed her eyes, but not before she caught the amused look of triumph in his. Oh, he thought he was impressing her, huh? She kissed him back more aggressively. It might have been a long time since her loser boyfriend, but she wasn't a total novice. In her shock, her hands had been hanging uselessly by her sides. She raised them up, and tentatively placed them against his back, twisting on the picnic bench so her upper body faced him better. The noise he made in his throat went straight to her nerves, every last one of them.

And then, as quickly as he'd started it, he ended the kiss. For a second she sat there, eyes closed, expecting him to return for a second try. But when she opened her eyes, he was just staring at her. She stared back into the deep pools of his eyes, while the soft texture of his tee shirt slid back and forth under her fingertips with each long breath. Her brain was playing catchup and all she could think was "I shouldn't let you do that."

"Why not?" His gaze was so calm. How could he be so calm when her own heartbeat was going a mile a minute? She'd thought about this a lot over the last few weeks and she knew by heart the list of a million ideas why she should not let herself get attached to him.

"You're going too. I know what that means and it's not what I want." It hurt to have to say it, to deny herself what she wanted. But it was the truth and it had to be said.

Ray leaned forward, so that their foreheads were touching. They were still sitting at the picnic table, Ray facing inward and she facing outward. Behind him, her hands slid to meet together over his spine. He was barely any taller than her but somehow felt so much more solid. "What does it mean?" his voice was a rough whisper and their noses rubbed together as he asked.

She couldn't look him in the eye and lie. She might be able to lie to her father about how lonely she was for a parent in her life, but she couldn't lie to Ray. He'd see right through it anyway. She closed her eyes and focused on the feel of his breath fanning over her face. "It means I'll miss you. And it will hurt to be left here at home."

"You're going to miss me anyway." He was right of course. She'd been telling herself for weeks that it would be better if she kept her distance. She'd tried to stay as focused on the kids as she could. But he was right. It wouldn't matter. She was going to cry when he left.

His hands tightened ever so slightly where they held her shoulders and she felt like that was her only anchor as her inner thoughts spiraled away with chaotic flashes of amazing moments that had suddenly become possibilities mixed with dark clouds of half imagined future hurts. There was no way she's pass up those possibilities. "Yeah."

"So what do you want me to do?"

She opened her eyes. He might have managed to sound cavalier about it, but she could see the genuine entreaty in his wide eyes. His muscles were tense beneath her fingers and she wasn't sure if the pulse she felt pounding against the wall of her chest was his or her own. She knew what she wanted. It still seemed like a terribly bad idea, but she knew exactly what future she wanted. Every fiber of her being was craving it right now. And the heat rolling off him, the feel of his hands holding her steady, the look in his eye, told her he felt the same. He wouldn't push her if she told him she didn't want him, but.."I want you to kiss me again."

She barely had the words out before he was moving to capture her lips again. This time he gathered her closer so that his hands cupped her face like she was the most precious person in the world. When their lips met again, her senses exploded. Sure, she felt the sun beating down on her back, but she felt it in relation to the heat of their bodies where they pressed together. And she was aware that somewhere in the park, birds were chirping, but the sound was drowned out by the low sound he made in his throat when she inched closer to wedge herself between him and the table top. The fact that there were only five layers of clothing separating them was as palpable as the soft rasp of his tongue over hers. She gripped his shoulder blades, if only to use him to steady her against the turning of the earth.

This time when they finally pulled apart they grinned at each other. "Tu me enloqueces!" Ray breathed out in a rush.

"I'm just going to assume that whatever you said was complimentary." She couldn't get her lips to stop curving. For such a bad idea, this felt awfully good.

"Yeah, I mean that in both the best and the worst way." Ray was trying to pull her closer. And while she would have liked to indulge a little more, they were supposed to meet Colin and Dylan at the shooting range at 1300 and she certainly didn't want anyone to come looking for them. Besides, they had things to discuss now.

She held him off with a finger on his chest. "Ok, so now you've kissed me."

He eyed her finger with a frown. "And you kissed me back."

"Sure, I kissed you back. Now what?" She felt foolish asking. It wasn't like they were middle schoolers. But, he was still leaving soon and she was still staying put, along with the 12 younger children she didn't know what to do with. "Is this a one off or are we having a thing? And if we're having a thing, should it be public knowledge or what?" She bit her lip, hoping he wasn't going to laugh at her.

But Ray just slipped his hand up to weave his fingers between hers. "Everyone already assumes we're a thing. I don't see any need to do anything special to alert them that our status has changed."

"People think we're a thing?" She hadn't realized that. At least no one beyond Emma and Bertrise had said anything to her and thy were just teasing. And she'd certainly seen plenty of girls make come-ons to Ray in the market or around the square right in front of her.

"Ok, I don't really know if they do." He admitted, bringing her hand to his lips to kiss her knuckles. She found it a strangely intimate action given that they'd just been plastered together for half an hour. "But we're together all the time anyways so I guess I just figure that doesn't have to change. At least I hope it doesn't. You're my best friend. I don't want to screw that up."

She was about to taunt him for calling her his best friend when it hit her that of course he had, because he'd been her best friend for weeks now too. Who else did she tell the most troubling parts of her day too? And who else had seen her at her worse and just laughed with her. "We're not going to screw that up. I promise. If anything new," She gestured between them, "screws with being friends, it's over."

"Deal." They shook on it. Then they kissed on it.

They finally made their way to the car, giggling and making bets about each other's improvements since the last time they had been to the range. Kat stopped him as he dug the keys out of his pocket. "Ray?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for making the move." She smiled shyly, not wanting to say outright that she'd been too chicken but not wanting him to miss her meaning.

She had to admit, when he grinned back at her with his teeth shining against his tan like that, she felt a funny kind of tension in her middle. "You're welcome. But next time it's your turn to put yourself out there."


	18. Chapter 18 - The Beautiful & The Brave

****The Beautiful & the Brave, Jenn Grant****

"How do you know how to do this again?" Emma twirled Kat's hair around a barrel roller while Bertrise expertly applied buttercream to a two tier cake.

"Oh we had many a wedding at my parent's inn." She didn't look up as she focused on making the basketweave pattern just so. "I do hope Kara likes it."

From her position by the mirror Kat laughed. "Well anything is better than the monstrosity of my decorating. You don't know how relieved I was when you said we could scrape the frosting off and start over."

"Well, as long as you don't tell her that Emma and I knew the secret of the cake color before the big reveal, I won't tell her what a mess it was." Bertrise promised.

Kat tried to pull the hem of her dress down. "Really Emma, I don't think my hair needs all this fussing either. As soon as the cake is done we need to go. I know Comander Garnett said the kids would be fine at the party without me for a while, but we should hurry before they break something, or someone. I should go get the guys and a cart to take it to the car."

Emma rolled her eyes. "No amount of complaining is going to get you out of this. We helped you with the shopping and the cake, now you can let us help you look like a girl for a change."

"Now, now." Bertrise chided. "She looks like a girl all the time. Now she'll just look like de best girl." Kat caught the smug look on Emma's expertly done up face in the mirror and bit her tongue. Emma and Bertrise were really nice but she had a feeling that if they had met Emma before the Red Flu they wouldn't have had the slightest chance of becoming friends. In fact, Kat suspected that Emma's sister Riley would be a more likely friend candidate if she wasn't so wrapped up with her impending parenthood.

"Finished!" Bertrise stood back and waved a hand to indicate her work was done. "While I get my dress on, you can call for the guys."

Kat dashed off a quick text to Colin so that he could come help carry the cake to the car. The reply, "It's about time. Kids left twenty minutes ago." came immediately.

"I'm so glad Val got cell service working again." She pointed out to Emma. "Everything feels so much more normal. Colin and Derek are coming to get the cake."

Kat coughed through the cloud of hairspray Emma was unleashing on her poor hair. "There. Now promise me you will not roll the windows down on the way there?"

Kat grinned. "I make no promises." She tugged the short hem of the stretchy skirt down again. "But then again, I'd be too afraid that the wind would display my panties for all to see. Could you have found a shorter skirt? This is not my usual style at all." She wondered what Ray would think. Would he want to kiss her again when he saw her all done up this way or would he think she was angling for someone else?

Emma giggled as she bent forward to reposition the cleavage she had artfully displayed under her half unbuttoned cardigan. "Kara promised that after the picnic there would be dancing. You can't go dancing in your frayed jeans and that god awful pink sweatshirt you are so attached to. Live a little. Maybe we can convince one of the guys that you are actually a girl!"

"I like to do my living with my parts covered up." She muttered as she took one last look at herself in the mirror. "Besides, I'm not looking for a boyfriend." Just to be safe, she thought she'd better throw a pair of jeans in the car in case Tex decided to impose a dress code once he saw her.

Kara tugged the shimmery cardigan Alisha had approved for the party closer over her belly as they walked the short distance up Pine street toward the house Commander Chandler was now occupying. "I don't see why I couldn't wear my yoga pants to this thing. Look at how many people are wearing jeans." She waved as a small group of boys zipped past them on skateboards. "Was that Sam Chandler?"

"You don't get many opportunities to dress up. Relax and enjoy it." Her mother nodded and waved to the boys too. "Lighten up Kara. It's only a week until the teams leave and you can afford to have a good time for once."

She eyed her mother, recalling what she used to think having a good time involved. But Debbie was sailing along beside her, waving and smiling to everyone. She had pre-armed herself with a large mug of coffee and she insisted she didn't have the slightest inclination to drink anymore. "Stop looking at me like that Kara. I meant it when I said I wouldn't embarrass you."

Kara smiled and reached out and took her mother's hand. When had it become so wrinkled, she wondered. "I know mom. I'm just nervous. Isn't that silly? I see these people every day."

Debbie's response was to lift their joined hands over head and direct Kara in a whimsical twirl, the way she used to do when Kara was a little girl. They both giggled. "Give it a few minutes and you will have a great time. All these people want to support you and Danny. Don't you ever forget how much support you have around you."

"Thanks Mom."

Despite the fact that it was only sixty degrees, the front door of the Chandler household was wide open. People were chatting in small groups on the wide front porch and Kara caught a hint of a charcoal fire from the backyard. A chorus of welcomes sounded as she and her mother gained the steps.

"That's the Green's house, where the baby shower will be." Derek pointed toward a three story house where someone was hanging an American flag on a federal blue porch column. "It looks like the party is already in full swing." Kat pulled up to the curb and Emma, Bertrise, Derek, and Colin extracted themselves from every possible door.

Debbie Foster waved to the kids from her perch on the porch steps. "Oh good. I was just starting to get nervous about the cake. I left Kara down at Chandler's house and she still has no idea that we're doing this. I need to get back over there before she gets suspicious." While Colin and Derek carried in the cake she approached Kat. "You don't know how overwhelmed Kara is going to be when she sees her surprise. I already told Ray but I want to tell you too. If you ever need any help with the kids, please call me. I can't possibly repay you for how much help you've given us."

Kat was taken aback. "Oh Mrs. Foster! That is very sweet. You know Kara has been very supportive of me too. I'm just happy I can give back to her."

Debbie ushered her into the entry way of the house where Brie and Dylan were standing on kitchen chairs as they attempted to hang a "Congratulations Green Family" banner over the wide staircase. The kids had made it by painting an old bedsheet.

"Oh my gosh Kat! You have to see this house. It's so beautiful! I hope I can live someplace like this when we move out of the hotel! It has six bedrooms! I wouldn't have to share with three thirteen year olds anymore! Do you think that if we all pooled our resources we could get a house?" Brie gestured wildly from her perch on a chair.

Kat reached up and tugged one of the girl's thick braids. "Ray can barely afford that car. I think you're going to have to wait on the dream house kiddo." She frowned. Actually, he couldn't afford the car at all but she didn't want the kids to worry about that. Commander Chandler had gifted them the car after it didn't sell in the auction saying it would be easier to do that than pay to have it hauled away. But the kids thought they had bought it.

Debbie Foster frowned. "That reminds me, Danny is paying Ray and Lee for the painting but I should probably check in on them, just to make sure they are taking it seriously. I want the drop cloths and everything all cleaned up by the time the cake is served so we can take Kara up and surprise her."

Brie hopped down from the chair. "Oh don't worry Mrs. Foster. Colin just went up to help them make sure it's finished on time."

Emma came out of the dining room where the cake now graced the center of the table. "Come on Kat, I want to see the nursery."

Kat rolled her eyes. She knew Emma just wanted to see Lee again. "I'll wait for the surprise reveal." Besides, she suddenly felt shy about seeing Ray. Her brain could acknowledged how silly that was, but her heartbeat increased just thinking about it.

She ambled over to Commander Chandler's house by herself. Some of the crew were playing horseshoes in his yard, while another group played corn hole in the backyard of Commander Garnett's house next door. As she had promised Chandler last week, Hannah, Mariah, and Natalie had easily welcomed Ashley into their fold. The four girls were crowded into a large porch swing, bent over a phone, and giggling over something.

"Hey girls. How's it going?" She spent most of her time with the kids tending to the youngest four. Sometimes it felt like she hardly knew the rest.

Four heads looked up in unison, "Fine." And dissolved into giggles again.

"Have you seen the boys, Ethan, Kershawn, or Will?"

Hannah jerked her thumb over her shoulder. "One of the houses on this street had a pogo stick. I think they're around somewhere fighting over who gets to break their arm first." The girl's laughed as if they were far too old to be caught doing something so undignified.

Kat tried to peer over the edge to see what they were watching. "What's on?" There was no mistaking the implications of the way Hannah flipped the phone upside down in her lap.

"Ah nothing?" Mariah glanced at her twin as she replied rather than at Kat.

"Gee, if I wasn't suspicious before, I certainly am now." She held out her hand. What in the world could four thirteen year olds be giggling at like that? She didn't miss the fact that Hannah flipped her screen off before handing it over.

She found the power button and was faced with a password screen. She handed the phone back. "Come on, open it."

The girls exchanged glances. Ashley Chandler began to rise. "I'll see you.."

"Not so fast. You can stay right there until I've had a chance to check this out." She tried to use her most stern voice. To be honest, the kids had needed very little disciplining. Sure, she'd had to separate Luna, Sadie, and Ethan a few times but other than that, they sort of policed themselves so she was a little taken aback. She momentarily wondered if she ought to get Captain Chandler to come over and make a stronger impression on them.

"Fine. But don't say we didn't warn you." Hannah grabbed the phone, typed in the code, and handed it back. There was a frozen video on the screen. At first it took her a moment to register what it what she was looking at. When it clicked into place she dissolved into giggles too.

She lowered her voice. "Oh my God are you guys watching Shake It Up re-runs?" She used to love that show when she was their age.

Natalie could barely sit still. "Yeah, you want to join us? We're in season 2 and Logan's dad is about to propose to CeCe's mom!"

She grabbed a lawn chair and pulled it up behind them, relieved to have someone to hang out with, even if they were only two-thirds her age.

Three episodes later there was a clatter of a cooking pot and metal spoon. Commander Slattery stood on a picnic table and announced that they would begin carving the pig and that after dinner people were invited down to the Green's house for dessert. Kara, standing at the edge of the porch with Alisha, Val, and Andrea looked quite surprised. "Oh my goodness! Was I supposed to make dessert? I totally spaced on.."

"Don't worry, don't worry. It's all taken care of." Alisha reassured her. "We just set it up at your house so we wouldn't have to worry about the dinner mess." As soon as Kara turned her back there were winks all around.

Kat seized the opportunity to escape back to the Green's house. If they were announcing dinner that probably meant the painting was done. Halfway there she heard the slap of sneakers against the pavement. "Hey Kat, wait up." It was the guy from the driving lessons, Rob, along with Colin. "You heading to the Green's now? we'll walk you."

She fought the urge to tug her skirt lower. "Yeah, I need to make sure everything is ready for the big reveal."

The guys flanked her on either side. "So, the betting pool is up to about $700 dollars. If you guess right you get your money back. If you're wrong, the Green's get it. Got any hints?" Rob asked as he leaned over her shoulder a little. She wrapped her arms a little tighter about herself. Something about him gave her the creeps

"Are you cold?" Colin held up a shirt. "Ray asked me to bring him a clean shirt since he spilled paint on his. But I'm sure he wouldn't mind." She wondered why Ray hadn't asked her to bring him a clean shirt. She could have taken care of it. Did that mean he was avoiding her? Maybe he'd decided kissing her was a mistake.

"No, I'm fine." She made a point of relaxing her arms to swing at her side. Despite her discomfort with the hemline of the dress, she knew it was perfectly modest. "I will never reveal my secrets." She not only knew the Greens were expecting a boy, but she also knew the due date so she was prohibited from entering the betting pool.

As soon as they got inside she headed for the Green's dining room. It was already crowded with people but she found Emma and Bertrise handing out slips of paper for a silly game involving nursery rhymes. Dylan had a large envelope and a mini calendar that she was using for final entries into the pool. "Hi Kat. You're just in time. Could you go up and ask Ray if he's going to make a bet?" Dylan pointed to the ceiling. I think he's still up there painting."

Colin saved her from having an awkward first post-kiss conversation while everyone was waiting for them downstairs. "I'll do it. I need to take him this shirt."

Since she knew what color the cake was already, she slipped into the kitchen to do a little pre-cleaning for the Greens. She had just pulled open the dishwasher to load it with the items in the sink when Kershawn and Willy led a bawling Ethan into the kitchen. "What happened?" She crouched down to see the little boy eye-to-eye.

He held up a bloody elbow and cried harder. Glancing around she spied some paper towels on the sink counter so she wet one and held it to the wound. "Owwwwww" He howled when the water stung his abrasion.

She looked to the other two boys as she hugged Ethan and tried to keep the wet pad on his elbow. "Do you know what happened?"

Kershawn nodded, his eyes wide. "He fell off a skateboard. We was trying to learn to jump the porch steps and he caught something and flipped right into a railing."

"Did you hurt anything else?" She asked Ethan. He shook his head, fat wet tears dotting his lashes. "Just my elbow."

She plopped him into a kitchen chair and sent the two boys in search of Ray and bandaids. She distracted Ethan with corny jokes while they waited. When she heard a clatter on the kitchen stirs she expected to see Ray finally turn up but it was actually Debbie Foster. "I just have a little first aid kit here, but usually that's all you need."

"Thank you Mrs. Foster." Kat was grateful someone had come. Ethan was getting antsy but his cut elbow was still bleeding.

"Let's have a look at that." Debbie opened the kit and pulled out some ointment and a little white pad.

"No! I don't want the stingy stuff!" Ethan began to yell.

"Willy, can you go upstairs and find Ray. Maybe he'll calm him down."

Willy and Kershawn exchanged a look that told her there was something she ought to know. Her stomach turned. Maybe he really didn't want to see her. Maybe he was too embarrassed about yesterday. "What? Spill it boys."

"Ray doesn't do blood." Will supplied.

"Yeah, he swoons." Kershawn added. Kat hid her giggle behind her hand. What kind of lifeguard couldn't handle the sight of a little blood?

Debbie Foster burst out laughing. "Well then we'll all have to man up in his place I guess. Come on Ethan, you can be brave. I promise, this stuff will make it feel better." Kat was impressed with her patience and tried to copy her calm manner. "Yeah, just think, you'll have an awesome scar to show off in a few weeks."

"Cool, Ethan has a battle scar!" repeated Willy. That did the trick. The boys began debating if people would believe he'd gotten it in a sword fight and Ethan hardly noticed as Debbie bandaged him up.

After receiving what felt like a million compliments on the light blue cake, Kat headed into the living room which was lit by many strings of twinkle lights criss crossing from the curtain rods to the outdated chandelier. The soft lights reflected off the upper panes of the old windows washing the room in a golden glow. Given that they had tossed some of the furniture when they moved in, the nearly empty room made an excellent dance floor. Mason and Bertrise were manning a side table containing a couple of speakers, and Lieutenant Green was already twirling his wife around. Many of the kids were bopping around, dancing erratically. Luna and Sadie had somehow sprouted fairy wings and glitter headbands. Willy, Ethan, Kershawn, and Sam Chandler were waving glow sticks. Colin was nervously standing with an entire foot of space between himself and Emma, glancing toward the door as if Commander Slattery was going to come barging in and demand he unhand the his daughter any second. Her own father and Vince Grazinski were holding court with many of the young recruits out on the porch, telling stories of their worldwide exploits. Although the air was cooling down, the windows were open and she caught an occasional wifff of the small bonfire that had been started in Commander Chandler's back yard.

There was a tap on her shoulder and she turned and saw Rob grinning at her. He had gelled his spikey brown hair so heavily that it gleamed in the twinkle lights. "I couldn't help but notice that you had no one to dance with." He raised a brow and held out his hand, palm up.

"Oh, I, uh, I'm not much of a dancer." She stalled, looking around for someone she could claim needed to see her. But everyone was laughing and having a good time.

Rob grasped her hand anyways. "Oh come on. A sexy girl like you must have some moves." Despite the fact that she didn't relax, he practically lifted her off her feet to pull her toward the other swaying couples.

She grabbed his shoulder with her other hand for balance. "Oh, I don't know. I really don't dance." Yuck, his tee shirt was damp with sweat.

He tightened his grip behind her and she had to keep tension in the forearm resting along his chest so that her breasts wouldn't be crushed against him. "That's ok. The girl's job is just to follow along anyway." He gave an exaggerated sway and practically cracked her spine as she held stiff in her arms.

"Is that it? I always wondered why I had such a hard time with it."

He didn't take the hint. "That was some good cake. I heard you were the baker. Do you cook a lot?" She couldn't fault the guy for persistence. Maybe he was just nervous. She tried to talk herself into being a little friendlier.

"I can bake, but I only know the basics when it comes to cooking."

Rob nodded. "Well, you can always learn. These days a man has to understand that women don't get taught these things as early."

Her mind reeled. This guy was too much. It was like he was housewife shopping, not simply dancing at block party. From the other side of the room Bertrise grinned and gave her a thumbs up. She scowled back but Bertrise didn't take the hint. Come on girls. Someone please rescue me! "So Rob, are you excited to be heading downriver with the engineering team in a few days?" She had no idea what else to ask him.

He nodded. "Yep." He puffed up his chest, much to her dismay. "You probably heard that some of the recruits don't have to wait and go through the full six weeks of basic." Oh she had heard alright. Danny, Chandler, and Master Chief had several heated discussions in the Captain's office this week about whether to risk taking people who had practically no skills along when they went downriver. They would be on the ships, but they would be doing the grunt work and staying as far out of harm's way as possible. "Yeah, I am hoping to get a chance to show off my weapons skills. I hear that's important for making the VBSS teams." It was so hard not to snort and tell him to keep dreaming. But thankfully, the song finally ended.

She stepped back as soon as his grip slackened. "Thanks for letting me crush your feet Rob, but I think I need a drink before anymore dancing."

"I'll get it! We can sit on the steps in the fresh air!" He practically dragged her to the front hall.

She saw Ray sitting on the bottom step. If she had been alone she might have avoided him but she'd weather her nervousness to get away from Rob.

"Thanks but.." She scrambled for some reason she should need to talk with Ray. "I promised Ray I'd check out the nursery, since I was babysitting all morning so that he could paint it. I want to know that my time was worth it."

Ray arched one thick brow at her but he didn't out her white lie to Rob. "Yeah, the paint is still wet but you can come see it. Kara loved the color you picked by the way." Rob finally let go of her hand, albeit somewhat reluctantly.

"Ok, well I guess I'll see you around Kat." Suddenly he lurched forward and planted his lips on her cheek. It took every ounce of her willpower not to wipe the wet imprint off as soon as he pulled back. "Anytime you want to dance, I'm available."

Her smile felt fake but she couldn't do any better. "Uh thanks Rob."

Ray wedged himself between them, a tight smile on his lips for Rob. "Come on. If you want to see the room you better do it now. I'm beat." She wondered if he'd found it as hard as she had to sleep last night. She'd lain there in the dark for hours replaying their kisses in her mind. If her father hadn't been snoring away in the connecting room she might have given into her jangling nerves and indulged in a little fantasy to help her sleep, but instead she had been left frustrated and wired until she finally fell asleep from exhaustion. She followed him up the wide oak staircase without saying a thing. Thankfully Rob didn't follow because she was pretty sure she might have had to tell him to go jump in a lake. She had been waiting all day to have Ray to herself again and she was not going to tolerate any interruptions.

Ray tugged her into a dark and nearly empty room. The smell of fresh paint told her it was the room he'd just painted. She stepped into the middle while he fumbled with the taped over light switch. "Oh the color is fabulous!" She turned a circle an admired the large bedroom. Debbie and Kat had helped Danny pick a soft turquoise color for the walls and Kat had even managed to work the paint machine at the store to mix it. With the deep color of the house's old woodwork, the new color was fresh and cheerful. "And you did such a good job!" The walls of the old house weren't exactly smooth but they looked clean and uniform now.

Ray beamed. "Yeah, there was a guy from the ship here this morning that taught us how to paint and then we did two coats. Danny paid me in cash so now I have enough to buy some good boots before I go. Master Chief says it's the one uniform item worth upgrading." He looked so proud of himself that she resisted teasing him for practically babbling. "Oh, and here's the $20 I owe you." He dug in his hip pocket a little sheepishly. "If you don't mind helping Brie and Dylan next weekend, Danny said he'll pay me to do as much of the other bedrooms as I can get through before we leave town. I think I ought to do it so that I can leave the kids with some cash. Just in case something happens."

She waved his hand holding the money away. "Keep it. You bought the glow sticks and fairy wings, didn't you." She loved it that his cheeks pinked when he was outed as such a softie. "They were totally worth every penny. And yes, I can babysit anytime you want…if you keep paying me." She stepped a little closer.

"Paying you? I haven't been.." She slipped her hand behind his neck and pulled his lips to hers. She'd been worried it would be awkward when she saw him again but it wasn't. It was nice. Like they had a little secret just between them. And she didn't want to be wasting their time talking about money or the kids or painting or anything. She just wanted this again. Ray pulled her even closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and for a moment she was overwhelmed with the feeling of their bodies pressed together. His jeans were rough against her bare legs and the slide of his hand over one of her bare shoulders gave her delicious goosebumps. There was a creak on the floor out in the hall and they jumped apart, each grinning at the other.

"Hi." Her cheeks felt hot but she couldn't stop grinning.

"I was a little worried you'd decided you could do better." Ray ducked his head a little as he said it. "After I saw you dancing with Rob. You should know, I'm sort of an all or nothing kind of person."

She laughed and her voice echoed off the large windows of the empty room. Lowering her voice she said "If you knew what a bad dancer I am, you wouldn't be jealous. And I already know that about you."

"You do? Well then you should also know that Cuban men are excellent dancers." He slipped and arm through the curve of her arm and took her other hand. "Want to dance?"

The music from downstairs was easy to hear through the floor and the open windows and there was plenty of space. Still she bit her lip and said, "I am really that bad. Seriously, you'll have a competitive advantage at PT in Monday if I don't subject you to the same torture." It didn't feel nearly as unpleasant to lean her body against Ray's and let it follow his motion though. In fact, it made her stomach kind of bubbly, in a good way.

"Come on. You really can't be that bad. You're already half doing it."

She supposed she was but she didn't feel as gangly and awkward as she had earlier. She looked down to see what her feet were doing. Of course, that was when she mashed one of his gray Converse. "See, I can't do this." She stepped back, feeling a little sad that she couldn't enjoy moving along with him a little longer.

"Dale!" Ray held out his hand. "My feet can take it. Besides, I'm going to have new boots soon so you can scuff these up to your heart's content." He flipped off the lights so that only the street lights outside lit the room with a dim amber glow. "Don't give up so easily. I won't laugh at you."

Kat laughed. "Yes you will!" But she wouldn't be all that offended. She would probably laugh along with him. "Maybe if you distract me I won't think about it and I'll get better." Rat kissed the tip of her nose, and even though his lips were not bone dry, she didn't have the same urge to rub her nose immediately after like she had with Rob's kiss. "I like the way you kiss."

"Oh yeah, as compared to what?" He kissed her again.

"Let's just say I have only recently discovered that I actually like kissing, withthe right person."

He spun her around a little, a half smile on his face as he watched her. "I like kissing too. Would that distract you enough?"

A few songs later there was a commotion from downstairs. It sounded like one of the kids was crying. "Uh oh. I already had to get bandaids from Mrs. Foster." She stepped back and headed for the door. With a sigh Ray followed in her wake.

Ethan was standing at the bottom of the stairs, lip trembling crying as he whined, "I want Ray! I need Ray!" Behind him, Kershawn, Willy, and Sam looked on.

"What happened?" Ray passed her and crouched down beside the boy.

Ethan held out his pointy elbow to proudly display his bandage with a loud sniffle. "I fell off the skateboard!"

"Ethan, that happened hours ago. Why are you crying now?" She inspected him from tip to toe and other than the bandage, he looked fine.

"My tummy hurts now." He wrapped his arms around his middle. "Can we go home?"

Kat caught Ray's eye. The kids had arrived in the van that Master Chief used to haul people out to training sites and she had no desire to be stuck having to park that thing in the garage. "I tell you what Ethan. I have some chores to do so I will take you back with me if Ray promises to bring me a giant piece of leftover cake later."

Ethan turned his teary eyes on Ray and asked with his lower lip trembling. "Can you bring Kat some cake later?"

"That sounds like a good deal to me." Ray agreed. "Just do me a favor and go right to sleep when you get home." To Kat he asked "Are you sure you want to go by yourself? I thought we were having fun?"

"We were, but you've hardly had a chance to enjoy the party. I'll see you later. Besides, someone's got to round up the rest of them and bring them home in a few hours." She squeezed his hand before reaching for Ethan's. "Come on Crash. Let's get you home."

"Can we go too?" Willy and Kershawn crowded Kat's elbows. "We promise we won't be trouble."


	19. Chapter 19 - Hot Blood

I have gone back and forth on whether this chapter needed some kind of warning on it and finally I came to the conclusion that rather than a warning I will just remind you, the readers, that this fic is rated M because of mature themes. In this case, that theme is sexual assault. The unfortunate truth is that sexual assault is especially present in situations where large numbers of young men and women interact in close quarters. And the fact of the matter is also that the vast majority of assaults go unreported. If you or someone you know wants help or even just to talk to someone to figure out what you need, call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) to be connected with a counselor or medical professional, or just to ask questions through RAINN (the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network). RAINN connects callers to confidential providers in their local area and also operates the DoD (Department of Defense) Safe Helpline.

**Hot Blood, Lucinda Williams**

Exhausted from their day, the boys fell asleep quickly. Bored, and a little resentful that she'd had to leave when the party had just become something to special, Kat neatened up the kids' rooms as much as she could. Then she eyed the pile of clothes they had just changed out of. With a sigh, she gathered them up and threw them into the maid's cart that Ray had commandeered for his daily laundry chores. She reasoned that it would only take five minutes at the most to stop by her room to change and then run up and start the wash. She quietly shut the door behind her. With everyone who wasn't on duty at the party, there was an unusual hush to the hallway that made Kat feel oddly lonely. She wondered how oppressively quiet it would feel tonight for the people who had moved out to the neighborhood.

She was quite surprised to bump into Rob on the way to the laundry room. "Hi Kat." He beamed at her. "I guess we think alike."

She eyed his basket, which had all of two items in it. Why waste time washing so few? "Uh, yeah, I had nothing better to do."

As they waited for the elevator he gave her pink sweatshirt and gym shorts a once over. "You should have kept the dress on though. It was super hot." Self conscious of the fact that she was not wearing a bra and also had bare feet, she crossed her arms over her chest. His eyes followed her movements. "I guess as much as we'd like women to wear that kind of thing all the time, it's not practical for housekeeping." She couldn't come up with a reply that wasn't confrontational so she kept her mouth shut. But seriously, who said things like that these days? Was he raised under a rock? She'd had no interest in him anyways but now, just ewwww.

They rode the rest of the way up two floors and walked to the laundry room in silence so she was surprised when he said, "I bet Ray liked your dress." as they entered the room. She looked up sharply and caught the rude sneer of his lips. "I saw that fucking rafter checking out your ass while you were helping that kid." Had Rob been watching her? She began to wonder if she ought to make an excuse to go back to her room, like claim she'd run out of detergent or something. She glanced his way but he was busy fiddling with a machine so she dismissed her unease and tugged the cart to where she could park it in the corner between the machines, out of the way of other people. Resolving to ask Emma and Bertrise if they knew what this guy's deal was tomorrow, she hurried to get her laundry in one of the available washers. She shoved it in as quickly as she could and just poured a bunch of soap on top, not caring if she was wasting it by not taking the time to measure it into the dispenser.

"It is a nice ass." She jumped and whirled around, realizing that he'd taken advantage of the noisy laundry room to sneak up behind her. "I have admired it many times. Those little pants you wear to PT are my favorite." He was leaning against the table between her and the door, one hand in his pocket moving around like he was…Ewwww! She realized he was rubbing himself while watching her.

She felt the hot sting of a blush but she wasn't sure if it was caused more by outright anger or shame that she'd inspired such unacceptable behavior. She was a realist about what young men were like, but the least he could do was wait until he was someplace private! She was getting out of there as soon as she could. "OK, all done here. Have a good night." She tried to breeze past, forcing a cheery face to hide her disgust, but he grabbed her elbow and held fast.

"Oh I'm planning on it." The change in his tone of voice was dramatic. The awkward bumbling guy from before was gone and in his place was something that she instinctively shied away from. "First, let's start with some manners. You don't walk away when a man is talking to you!" Then just as abruptly he switched back to his friendly manner from the hallway, except for the tight grip on her upper arm which he used to steer her back toward the corner. "Stay and have some fun. I saw you dancing with Ray. I know you're no ice queen. You can spread it around honey."

"Let go of me!" She tried to throw her weight backward but he was easily twice her size and her arm barely moved. "I need to get back to the boys. If they wake up.."

"I won't take long. A tight little body like yours breeds impatience, you know." He rubbed his lower lip with the thumb of his other hand. "My only question is what I'd like best."

She tried to keep her voice calm but her heart was beating like a trapped animal's. She couldn't believe he thought she would be a willing participant. "What I'd like best is for you to let me go, right now, before I scream."

His thumb bit into her upper arm with bruising pressure. "Do you scream when you come? I can make that happen, you know. No one's around so you can scream all you want when I give it to you. You'll be begging for the feel of me deep inside you." Just the idea of his hands on her made her skin crawl. She began to struggle in earnest, trying to figure out what she could use as leverage to break free.

Rob just sneered and angled her toward the nearest washing machine. She tried to use her other hand to brace against it but he was much stronger than her and she found her hip wedged against it. This couldn't be happening to her! "Get off me!" She raised her voice, still a little stunned that this could be happening.

He twisted her arm further and shoved her back so his hip was pressing against her legs, pinning her against the machine. He ran a hand down her back and clasped one buttock, kneading it in his hand while she struggled more violently, wrenching her shoulder as she tried to break free. "No!" she yelled this time. "No, don't touch me!"

His response was to give her a firm shake that rattled her teeth in her head. "Stop that before you hurt yourself you stupid cunt." He snarled in her ear, forcing her head back as he tried to kiss her. The wet feel of his lips against her cheek when she turned her head made her stomach overturn. She felt saliva begin to pool in her mouth and knew she was going to be sick only a moment before everything she'd eaten that day violently spewed out and splashed all over him in one blue-tinted heave.

"What the fuck!" He jumped back and she didn't even stop to see how much of a mess she'd made. She just ran. She skipped the elevator and took the stairs two steps at a time, nearly tripping between the flights. Breaths wheezing, she stopped at the door to the floor she needed and strained to hear if he was coming after her or down the stairs at the opposite end of the hall. If he was, he was very quiet. Deciding that she had to get back to the kids and secure the room, she peaked out the narrow glass strip in the fire door. It looked empty so she got her key card ready before flinging the door open and making a dash for the kids' rooms. She made it two steps before she crashed into someone much taller than her coming from a perpendicular hallway.

"Omph." The wind was knocked out of her. She reared back to lash out and hopefully get away when she realized it was Lee, not Rob.

Eyes wide he reached out and stabilized her. "Kat! Are you ok?" A little stunned, she just nodded. He bent to get a better look at her face. "You don't look well."

She nodded again before finding her voice. "Ah, yeah, I, ah…" What could she say. I think one of your training partners just tried to assault me? She felt a wave of shame and confusion crash over her. She was pretty sure that if she hadn't been in a public place, she would have simply crumpled. As it was, she was shaking all over. Holy crap! How could she have been so stupid? The minute she had that uneasy feeling while looking at his nearly empty laundry basket she should have turned around and gone back to the room. God she was so foolish! Lee was eyeing her shoulder where she was holding it with the opposite hand. "No, um, I'm just feeling a little green in the gills. I'm going to go lay down while I wait for the rest of the kids to get back." She could taste the acid in her mouth again.

Lee began slowly walking beside her toward the kids' rooms. "Are you sure you're ok? Do you want me to call Ray or your dad or someone?"

"No! No, don't you dare!" Panic seized her. She would be so mortified if he knew how stupid she had been. "I mean, they'll all be back soon anyways and I just bruised my arm is all. They don't need to worry over me. Don't blemish the kids' night with this. I'll be as good as new in the morning."

He glanced back down the hall the other way. "Well I guess. If you say you're OK then. You know where to find me if you need me. Room 475."

She felt foolish for not trusting her instincts before. At least she felt safe with Lee. "Yeah, I'll be alright." She stopped in front of the boys' door. "Thanks for asking though Lee."

She slipped into the room and sagged against the door as she locked the deadbolt and chain. Her pulse was still pounding, her body in full on fight or flight mode. She turned on the light closest to the door, hoping it wouldn't wake the kids, and slumped to the floor. She told herself that she was OK now, but even with the light on she caught herself searching out the corners, making sure the shadows were empty. She wanted to wallow in tears, but at the same time she wanted to rant and rail about how unfair the world was. Instead, she folded her arms on her knees and pillowed her head. For a minute she held her breath to hold back the tears but when she was forced to take a deep breath she was assailed with the smell of vomit. Her stomach threatened again. The old lady's pink sweatshirt was stained with blue food coloring where she'd swiped her mouth with the sleeve. She needed a shower and new clothes before Ray and the rest of the kids got back but there was no way in hell she was going back out in that hallway until there were plenty of people around.

She eyed the connecting door. She could probably borrow something of Dylan's and take a quick shower before they all got back. Turning on every light along the way, she gathered what she needed and entered the girls' bathroom. She couldn't relax in the hot water, but at least the boys couldn't hear her crying either. By the time Ray and the rest of the kids got home, she had pulled herself together, at least enough to act like nothing had ever happened.


	20. Chapter 20 - Goodbye Earl

**Goodbye Earl, Dixie Chicks**

"Oh my God Kat! Are you OK?" Kat winced as Bertrise helped her pull her sleeve back down over the bruise on her arm. Then the other girl enveloped her in a hug. "Men like that, oh dey make me so mad I could jus' almost hit someone myself."

Kat let the hug soothe her. She hadn't been planning to tell anyone what had happened with Rob but when Bertrise showed up at 6:15 on the second morning after the party to ask her why she hadn't come to PT she decided that it was time to come out of her self imposed quarantine. After all, she'd spent all day yesterday claiming she was under the weather. If she didn't get back to normal today more people would come asking. And truth be told, by last night she'd decided that she wasn't going to be traumatized by this anyway. Maybe she'd think about certain situations a little differently. She'd definitely be more wary about her safety. But the long and short of it was that besides the unwelcome realization that not everyone was a good guy, she wouldn't have any long lasting scars.

Still, it was nice to have a friend's sympathy. "I'll be fine. I do want to spread the word to the younger women around here to watch out for the guy though. The things he said made it clear that he thinks he has the right to take what he wants."

Bertrise nodded. "I'll tell Emma."

"And in twenty minutes half of St. Louis will know." They laughed together. "But keep my name out of it. Just make it clear that us girls need to be smart about how they handle themselves. These are dangerous times."

Bertrise nodded but she made no move to text Emma. "Do you want to talk to someone, I mean like someone important, about this? He should get arrested or something, shouldn't he?"

Indecision gnawed at Kat's belly and she realized that this was actually what had been keeping her in her room all day yesterday. Should she tell an officer or the police or her dad or someone who could do something? But then she thought about how it would be messy. And as much as she hated not doing anything, she didn't want people to know. She was embarrassed that she'd been so fool hardy in the first place. And then there was the worry about what they would think about her. Her brain could tell her it wasn't her fault all it wanted. That did nothing to remove the guilty feeling from the pit of her stomach. She didn't want people looking at her, speculating if they knew the whole story, wondering just how damaged she was. No, better to keep some things private.

"I don't know. Do you think bruising my arm even counts as a crime? It would be his word against mine. People will just think I'm a liar."

"They would not! We all know it's not your fault." Bertrise protested. We'd all stick up for you. You might be surprised how many other people know exactly what you're going through."

Kat shook her head. "No, It might take me a while, but I'll figure out the way of handling it that works for me." She pulled her sneakers from the closet and began lacing them on. "Want to go for a run with me instead of the PT group? I want to get out of this room but I don't want to go to PT."

Bertrise tsk tsk'd her. "You don't want to go to PT because Rob will be there. I still think you should tell someone. Commander Foster'd be confidential. I'm sure. But," She heaved a heavy sigh and pushed to her feet. "Maybe you jus' need de girls for now. Get dressed and I'll make a few texts. I'm thinking Emma, Dylan, and maybe Ensign King?"

As she threw on some clothes Kat thought about it. Bertrise was right. Rob was the exact reason she didn't want to go to PT. Not to mention Ray and her father and virtually everyone who mattered to her. But. she wasn't going to let some cowardly jerk ruin her life. Quite the opposite. She was going to go out there and get the best revenge there was, living well. "Are you up for a short field trip? There's a park on the edge of the city with beautiful trails. We could jog there for a change of scenery." She was pretty sure she could navigate to the lake where she and Ray had picnicked. After all, if that was going to be her mental happy place then she might as well use it when she needed to be uplifted. She reached for her pink sweatshirt but then remembered she had thrown it away. Good riddance. With it went naïve Kathleen. "But I need something to wear."

Bertrise already had her phone out. "Emma can help with that for sure."

Twenty minutes later they met up in the parking garage. As they packed into Kat and Ray's car Emma sized up the gray cammie and electric blue running shorts Kat was wearing. "Well if anything good has come of this, it's that you've upgraded your PT outfit to something a little more age appropriate! Don't tell my sister, but I think you should keep her clothes. I don't think she'll ever get back to that size again!"

The bubble of laughter that welled up inside her was like a reassurance that she really would be OK. It was like her mother used to say, "Most people are good." And if that wasn't true, well, her father always said, "I'm a Nolan and a Nolan can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'." Leaving downtown behind, she felt like she could breathe easy again for the first time in two days.


	21. Chapter 21 - Look After You

**Look After You, The Fray**

Ray paced up and down the hospital corridor. It had been two hours since he'd brought Ethan in and all the doctor had said was that he was definitely not well and would need observation to diagnose. Ethan was fitfully sleeping in an exam bed as they awaited their turn with the portable ultrasound. The place had such an eerie feel that he was creeped out just standing here. Most of the complex had not reopened given that there was neither the staff or the number of patients to justify it. So while the area he was in was brightly lit, the ends of the corridors faded into pitch black.

Every time he heard the outer doors open he crept to the corner of the hallway to see who it was. It was the middle of the night so he didn't know who he expected to see. Commander Slattery was definitely not it.

"Commander Slattery! What can we do for you?" Bertrise apparently worked the front desk several nights a week. It had been a relief to see a familiar face when they first came in. Now he watched as she grabbed a phone and called someone in response to whatever Slattery had said. A few minutes later a young woman with flaming red hair waddled through the door on the arm of Sergeant Simpson-Slattery.

"Bertrise help! They are here!" Ray had never imagined Slattery with that note of panic in his voice. The red head waved him and Garth off. That must be Emma's infamous big sister Riley. He'd never actually met her. Other than the fact that she was resting one hand on her obviously pregnant belly, she seemed perfectly calm while talking to Bertrise, not at all the impatient, overbearing, shrew her sister made her out to be. Bertrise handed over a clipboard full of forms and Ray saw Simpson-Slattery cringe. He knew the feeling of paperwork despair. He'd filled out a similar clipboard a few hours ago. Although in his case he'd had to leave so many of the questions blank he could hardly call it complete.

He looked back toward the sleeping boy. Ethan's cheeks were still flushed and he occasionally moaned and held his belly. The doctor had listed a few possibilities from indigestion to an infected appendix so fast that Ray ended up just nodding along and hoping he could trust the man to figure it out. For now he was on some IV fluids and they were monitoring him. To be honest, Ray had developed a sick knot in his stomach too. Ethan had said he felt a little weird yesterday but Ray had chalked it up to the busy night before at the party. Today he had hardly eaten anything and by dinner he was saying his stomach hurt. Figuring it was the beginning of the same virus that had kept Kat in her room the day before, he had put the boy to bed early. When Gabe woke Ray up at 1 AM to tell him that Ethan was moaning in his sleep, he had been terrified. What if the kid had the Red Flu even though he'd had the cure? What if he got sick and died? Ray's mind had played horrible scenarios over and over through the entire drive to the hospital and the initial exam. He'd calmed down a little bit after the doctor told him he didn't believe the problem was urgent enough to warrant panic. But now as he waited for their 7 AM ultrasound appointment the anxiety had clawed its way back in. Ray glanced at the clock on the wall. Still three hours to go before then. The two nurses checking in were very reassuring, but Ray still couldn't dare sleep himself.

As he watched, Riley grabbed her belly and doubled over with a groan. When Bertrise tried to get her to sit in a wheelchair she shook her head. Even all the way across the room he could hear her. "For God sakes Garth don't just stand there. Fill out the damn forms so we can get these babies born!" That sounded more like the woman Emma had described.

Garth split the stack of papers in half and handed a few to the Commander. Ray had to admire his quick thinking. Especially when he himself had spent what felt like five minutes trying to remember Ethan's last name. In the end he'd given up and put down his own, deciding that it didn't really matter anymore anyway.

He felt a buzz in the pocket of his hoodie. Desmadre! What if another one of the kids had become sick? He flattened himself against the wall, shame at being caught eavesdropping waring with surprise as he saw Kat's freckles and green eyes fill his screen. Swiping over the green symbol he answered. "Kat?"

"Ray! Oh thank God you're awake. I think the car has been stolen!" There was an echo to her voice. "Why would somebody steal our car? There are so many better cars to pick from."

Relief warred with alarm. What the heck was she doing in the parking garage at 0400? "No one stole the car."

She huffed loudly and he could just imagine her standing with her hand on her hip and a scowl on her perfect pink lips. "Well I'm standing right where I parked it and.."

"I have the car Kathleen! I had to take Ethan to the hospital." She'd pleaded with the little boy to have a little supper so she knew all about his stomach. "It's 4 AM. It's not safe to be out there alone." He slumped into one of the cold plastic chairs. "Is everything ok?" New panic scenarios began attacking from the recesses of his mind.

"Yes, I was going to give Mrs. Slattery and Emma a ride to the hospital. The twins are coming! What about Ethan, is he OK?"

"Yes, I guess. I'll tell you about it when you get here. Are they with you now?" He didn't like the idea of her wandering around outside of the hotel alone. Even with the reduced population, there were still crazies around.

"Yeah all three of us are standing here trying to figure out what to do. Christine doesn't want to miss the birth, even if Riley insists she doesn't need to be there." Ray ran through the list of people he knew who had cars.

"Don't worry. They're still filling out paperwork. Listen, I think I know who can get you here. Just go wait in the lobby. I think she'll be driving a blue Honda."

They hung up and he quickly called Debbie Foster and filled her in. She was thrilled to be able to help but fuck, está cabrón!. Ray shuffled back in the room and took a seat by the bed, closed his eyes, and leaned his head back against the wall as he waited for something to change. He'd finally thought they were getting things together and now it felt like everything was unraveling at once. Plus, being in the hospital was so much harder than he'd ever imagined it would be. Listening with half an ear to the chatter at the nurse's station down the hall reminded him so much of his mother joking around with her friends. These women, working long hours and facing people who were dying from car accidents and heart attacks and everything else, despite having beat the odds and survived the Red Flu, seemed to really believe the optimistic smiles they put on every time they went into a patient's room. That had been his mother in a nutshell. Always smiling even though he knew the loss of his father had changed her life in so many negative ways.

Somehow it reminded him of the kids' attitudes. Ironically Ethan was one of the only ones who hadn't adopted an outward appearance of living for the good times. He knew they all hoped a parent or grandparent or someone they had known before would show up. They had left as much information as they could at the camp before the first time they left but now that they had been through so many places, how would someone find them even if they were looking? Dios, who was he kidding thinking he could take them on? It wasn't fair to them to deny them a good parent, someone who really knew how to do this. He squeezed his eyes to keep the tears from leaking out and his heart flipped a little in the chest. He'd been building toward this decision for a long time but he hated it. Every selfish cell in his body hated it with a heavy guilt that made him want to climb in that bed and pull the covers over his head.

A commotion at the outer door broke him out of his pity session and he hauled himself back out of the chair. He meant to shut the door to keep it quiet for Ethan to sleep but then he recognized Kat's voice. "Where are they?" He rounded the corner to see her give Riley Slattery a quick thumbs up. "Can't wait to see those babies but I have to go. Where are they Bertrise?"

Bertrise pointed toward Ray and Kat met his eyes. Her hair flopped in a messy half ponytail and she wore just a cami with her baggy gray sweats and old jacket. "Ethan? How is he?" She launched herself into his arms and he realized she was shaking from head to toe.

"He's ok, for now. The doctor hasn't figured out what's the matter but he has a few ideas." He buried his face in her messy hair and breathed deep, willing his stupid tears away. Time to man up, he told himself. It wouldn't do anyone any good for him to be a baby now.

She pulled away and peered at Ethan in the room behind him. "Have they given you any idea? Is he getting medication? Can we go sit with him?"

"Sure." They sat in the hard plastic side chairs and he slung an arm over her shoulder, thinking how nice it was to have her there with him.

"Ow!" She leaned forward abruptly.

Confusion flooded him. Had he read everything wrong these last few days? "Sorry, I thought it, well you know, it would be ok? But if you want to be separate in public then…" He pulled his arm back to his side.

Kat frowned for a moment and then grabbed his hand. "No! I mean no, thats not it. I just bumped my arm getting up in a hurry in the dark is all. I think I bruised it." Something in her explanation didn't seem quite right but he let it go as she laced her fingers through his. "Besides, this way I get to enjoy your bare skin."

So they held hands instead while Ray filled her in. "So, as soon as the ultrasound tech comes in for the morning shift the doctor is going to try to get a look and then he'll have a better idea."

"Why didn't you call me?" Kat kept her voice low but the raw emotion was still clear.

He squeezed her hand, lest she think he'd meant to shut her out. "I was going to do it first thing in the morning. But I didn't think it would do you any good to sit here and worry with me. Besides, the last few days you've looked like you're barely sleeping."

She squeezed his hand back. "But it might have done you some good to have someone here for you." He nodded. She was right. It was doing him some good already. They watched as the entire Slattery family passed by to accompany Riley somewhere deeper in the hospital. Commander Slattery had an angry scowl on his face while Garth sported a wide eyed look of terror.

"Simpson-Slattery looks like he just figured out what being a parent is going to mean." Kat observed.

"What, like he's never going to sleep a full eight hours again?"

Kat's giggle was like music to his ears and something lifted a little inside him. "I suppose we should cut him some slack. It's not like he's already had 14 kids to practice on already." She lifted his hand and wrapped it around her shoulders again, this time placing it carefully over her collarbone. Even with the hard molded chair biting into his back he liked the feel of her tucked against him. Suddenly Ethan's clammy forehead didn't seem so threatening.

"I'll have to get at least one to survive to adulthood before I can claim victory. I've only been on the job for six months and I've already got one in the emergency room. I should probably be banned from ever having any."

"Who's being overly dramatic now? You got him here and he's probably gonna be ok. That's what counts. Besides, things are going to go wrong sometimes. It's just how it is. That's half the reason why you took them on, isn't it?" Kat kissed the fingers resting on her shoulder. "Besides, I heard that the twins were accidental. Kind of like the situation with Kara and Danny. You may not have a choice in the matter."

Ray snorted. "Are you volunteering then?"

Despite the fact that Kat shrugged, an impish grin on her lips, her green eyes only showed wide eyed panic as she replied, "Maybe someday."

"Hrmph, I may not survive that long."

Kat studied his face for a minute. "Why don't you close your eyes for a while. I'll wake you up if anything changes."

The next time someone shook him awake it was to speak to the doctor. "Mr. Diaz, I think we've come to a conclusion." A quick look at Ethan showed him still sleeping, dark circles under his eyes.

He listened carefully while the doctor explained to them that Ethan likely injured his spleen in his fall at the party. "It's not uncommon for a small bleed to go unnoticed for a day or so but of course any injury like that opens one up for infection. This surgery is urgent."

"So if he has this surgery, will he be ok?" Ray's mind reeled with a mix of relief and new anxiety. He couldn't afford surgery. He probably couldn't even afford a bottle of aspirin right now.

"He will be good as new, out there roughing it up like his old self in a few weeks. I'm going to have the nurse bring you some paperwork and we're going to start prepping him right away."

He glanced to Kat but she looked completely unperturbed by this announcement. "And if he doesn't have the surgery?"

The doctor narrowed his eyes. "I may need to be more clear. This is still a dire situation and he's still a very sick boy. He needs to have this done right away. He could move and increase his bleeding rate with very little warning. Is there a problem? He's not Amish or a Scientologist, is he? I saw that there was no known history. You do believe in medical care, right? Because now that we know what we're dealing with I would highly advise you to let us proceed with treatment as soon as possible."

Ray swallowed. He wished Kat didn't have to hear him admit it, but then again, she very likely knew anyway. Still, his cheeks burned in shame. "I can't pay for it, for the surgery, really for any of it. But please, if you could just do it anyway. We have a car I might be able to sell or we can come work it off. There are 14 of us and we work very hard."

The doctor's mouth opened and closed and then opened again. Then he looked between the two of them. "Is there a legal guardian who can sign the bills?"

"He doesn't really have one, although I guess Captain Chandler would probably say we became his wards when he took us in on the ship but northing's been put in writing as far as I know." Kat's fingers tightened on his sleeve. He wondered if she had understood how very different his situation was than his before that moment. He wasn't sure it had fully sunk in for himself, to tell the truth.

The doctor's gaze swept out to the hall where one nurse was bringing another clipboard full of forms and a second was pushing in a wheelchair. "So at the moment he's an unofficial ward of the state?" This was it. His world was going to end. Someone was going to come and take the people he loved most in the world away from him.

Ray took a deep breath and felt as if his lungs had shrunk by at least three quarters. He met the man's eyes and squared his shoulders. "Yes."

The doctor relaxed and smiled. "Well then it's covered under the state provisions for foster children. There's no need to worry. We'll just need to get that Captain to sign and certify that the kid is indeed an orphan of the state before he's released."

"That's it?" Ray sagged into Kat as he stared incredulously at the doctor. "He'll be ok then?"

"He'll be fine." The older man smiled. "You're managing 14 kids, just the two of you? That's pretty amazing." He turned to the nurse. "Trudy, change of plans. We need a set of whatever forms you use for fosters and what not." He turned back to Ray. "All right. We're going to wake him up and explain what's going on while the operating room gets prepared. Then we'll take him back to be prepped himself while one of you cleans up to go in with him."

Ray blanched. "Ray doesn't do blood." Kat squeezed his hand reassuringly. "But I can do that."

The doctor barked out a laugh and ran a hand over his short stubble. "Oh no, no. You just go in to hold his hand and reassure him while the anesthesiologist does their work. Then afterwards you can sit with him in recovery."

Whether it was relief or exhaustion that made him say it, he wasn't sure. "You should still do it."

At the same time Kat was saying, "Well then you should be the one."

They both laughed a little and Ray almost blurted out, "Jinx you!" like the twins did about thirty times a day. He was glad he held back when he saw the patronizing look directed over the rim of Dr. Sutherland's reading glasses.

"Just work it out and let the nurse know. I've got to prepare myself." He nodded to the nurse before disappearing through the swinging doors.

They went in to see Ethan. "Hey buddy. You're going to get an operation." Ray hoped he didn't resist or worse, throw an angry fit like he did that day at the library.

Ethan looked the happiest Ray had seen him in two days. "I know! Isn't it awesome! I can't wait to tell the guys how many stitches I got!"

Kat sat on the edge of the bed. "Have you had an operation before? They will put you to sleep and you won't feel a thing."

Ethan's eyes went wide. "Put me to sleep! Like my Daddy's old dog Chippy? No!" He shrank back against the pillows. "I can get better." He scooted toward the side of the bed, unaware that the winces in response to his movement gave him away. "See! I already feel better! Don't make me Ray!"

Remembering the doctor's words about suddenly increasing his bleeding Ray was quick to grab the little boy in a hug. "No Ethan! Not like the dog." He hugged him tight and felt the Ethan's heart fluttering wildly against his chest.

Kat scooted closer and wrapped an arm around them both. "You just to sleep for the operation. You will wake up feeling much better. I promise. And one of us will be there as you go to sleep and when you wake up." He wondered if she was trying to reassure Ethan or himself. It certainly helped, knowing he wasn't doing this alone. Despite the doctor's pronouncement that the injury could happen to any kid and was easily enough fixed, he still felt guilt gnawing at him. The kid was losing an entire organ after all.

"Do you promise?" He pressed his wet cheeks into Ray's neck. "You'll be there with me Ray?"

"I promise."

Kat summoned the nurse and before he knew it, he was holding Ethan's clammy hand as the boy counted backward from 100. The doctor came in dressed in scrubs and a funny hair cap to promise that it wouldn't take long. He'd come out and give the a report when it was over. "There's a cafeteria downstairs and a little chapel, if you are tired of the waiting room. Just let Trudy at the desk know where you're going."

Kat had gone home to get a few things for Ethan to have while he recovered so Ray dropped into the bed Ethan had recently vacated. After ten minutes he wasn't quite able to relax enough to sleep though so he rolled back out of the bed and asked Trudy where the cafe was. He might not have enough cash for a breakfast but he could at least have a change of scenery.

The cafe had no windows and the low hanging fluorescent lights cast the russet carpet in a drab pallor. Three or four nurses and a couple families looked up when he paused in the doorway. He could see that despite the many available clean tables it wasn't going to be the peaceful spot he'd hoped. He gripped the few sheets of paper he'd gotten from the nurses station and spun on his heel.

He found the chapel easily enough and the doors were wide open. But he was surprised to find it wasn't empty. A man was sitting hunched over in the front row, face in his hands. He wondered if someone had died. That must happen a lot at hospitals. The idea for a comic about a little boy talking to ghosts during surgery popped into his head. It would be the perfect level of scary for Ethan who was the biggest scardey cat of all the kids. He stepped into the chapel and automatically reached for the water by the door. It had been a long time since he had been in a church, but he was pretty sure his mother had drilled enough into him that he wouldn't disgrace himself. With a quick nod toward the alter he slid into the back row and took a seat against the outside wall.

The small chapel had about ten rows of seats facing a tiny rotunda. Narrow stained glass windows glowed in deeply recessed openings along one side of the room making him wonder if they really faced the outside of the building or were just cleverly lit to fool the patrons. He unrolled his purloined papers onto one deep windowsill, intending to use it for a desk. Only then did he realize that he didn't have a pencil. He searched the back of the pews and found one in the comment card holder a few seats up. The man in the front was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't seem to notice the racket Ray made at all. Settling down again, he began working sketching out the panels as he daydreamed about a possible story.

He had been sketching for about twenty minutes when he heard the soft footfalls of someone in the center aisle. He looked up and saw Debbie Foster hurrying to the man in the front. Only when the man sat all the way up with an audible sigh did he realize that it was Sergeant Simpson-Slattery. Debbie slid into the pew beside him and began speaking. "Garth, I know it's hard to believe from where you are right now, but I want you to know that you aren't alone. I know in my heart who you are as a person and that person deserves to forgive themselves, for whatever it was you think you did that was so awful."


	22. Chapter 22

**Gold Dust Woman, Fleetwood Mac**

Debbie laid a hand on his shoulder but he twitched it off. She was a nice woman but he didn't need a do-gooder like her talking him up. He knew what it was he had done and his heart knew it was black and rotten inside. He deserved every rotten thing that could happen but it killed him to know that Riley would suffer from tying her fate to his. Still, there was nothing anyone could say that would tear him from that truth. He pressed his lips more firmly to keep from doing more, from telling her to get away from him. But she didn't go despite his silence. She just took a seat beside him on the worn pew. A few minutes later she sighed. "I just want you to know that there are people who care about you, who will be here to help you and Riley with anything you need." She hadn't taken the hint.

He sat up to his full height and crossed his arms over his chest. He knew that when he did she'd be forced to tip her head back to look up to meet his gaze. It was something he'd learned from watching his father at a young age. If a customer got out of hand, his father would push back from his usual slouch over the bar and stare down his aquiline nose until they wised up. The same approach had served him well on the campaign trail. "Look Mrs. Foster, I get it that you think you know what kinds of things I'm talking about because of your husband and childrens' service, but you don't. I have blood on my hands that I can never wash away." He didn't bother to disguise the derision in his voice. "I don't need a counselor or a mother. I just need to be alone." He dropped his arms to his sides and stared at the floor. Why couldn't she just let him sit here and cry in peace?

But Debbie only reached out and grasped one of his hands between both of her own. Her fingers felt cold and tiny in his and although his first inclination was to jerk his hand back, she refused to let go. "You underestimate me." She said with more steel in her voice. "This is what I'm trying to tell you. I believe very strongly that people have to learn to forgive themselves so that they can survive and get stronger. It was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. You think I don't understand? I lost ten years to my pain." Her eyes bored into his. "Ten years of chasing a bottle to avoid admitting that it wasn't my fault that my husband choose to take a risk that cost him his life. I know the cost of not forgiving yourself and it is too high. I can't sit by and let you do that to yourself."

He blinked. Sweet little Mrs. Foster was an alcoholic? Still, it wasn't the same. What had she ever done that was so shameful? "So you were a drunk and maybe not very nice to people. Did you crash a car and kill a mailbox or two? Big deal. I'm not going to be fixed with some 12 step program."

She shook her head. "What heals people, what makes them whole again, is letting go of the guilt and shame and turning back to love. Letting themselves feel the joy that is to live. 12 step programs are one way to get there but they aren't the only way. After all, no one can get you all the way there but yourself. What I'm trying to tell you, and what I'll keep telling you, everyday if you need it, is that I know you are worth it. There is ugliness in all of us, but there is also such beauty and good."

This time he just stared at her, not blinking. She didn't try to tell him he hadn't done anything wrong. She didn't deny that he might have something to be ashamed of. But at the same time it didn't seem to matter to her. He could feel the physical connection where her hand gripped his. He looked down at the wrinkled knuckles, swollen a little with age but still so very capable holding his own. But he felt something else too, a twinge of relief maybe. "How come you are telling me all this? You don't even really know me."

She smiled in a way that reminded him of his Grandma when he was a little boy. It was like those times she scolded him one second and then offered him a cookie the next. "Some one did that for me once, and it made all the difference. I can't take away your pain and I can't change the past. All I can do is tell you that you deserve to be healed. The rest is up to you."

He hung his head and breathed for a moment. What would his Gram have said about what had happened today? She would have let him have it, would have told him to own up to his mistakes like a man. And in the end, he would have done it because when all was said and done, he wanted her to think well of him. But this was too big. His heart imploded in his chest with a crushing pain. He'd just walked out of the hospital room and come down here with no explanation. How could he go back up there? And what if it happened again? He couldn't do that to Riley.

He looked down and was almost surprised to see that there was still a wrinkled hand holding tightly to his. "I don't know if I can go back up there." He whispered, his voice rough with the crushing realization that he might have ruined any hope of a happy family life with his wife. He might have ruined the best human connection he'd ever had. "I'm afraid she won't want me back in there."

Debbie squeezed his hand. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

He closed his eyes. He didn't want to but he would because right now he needed someone who knew things could be screwed beyond repair. Someone who had done it before. "Riley was holding the twins and I was taking pictures and everything was fine. But we kept hearing this woman in the room next door crying out during labor. At first it was sort of funny. Riley, she's so hard as nails that even though she was freaked out she just kept cracking jokes with the nurses, you know? But then the other lady started really crying out, begging the doctor to make it stop, and it…" He had to stop a minute because he was beginning to shake from the effort of holding in his emotions. "It sounded just like the people in the quarantined buildings. Riley asked me to turn on some music to drown it out and it was like I was her hero again. There she was looking at me, so sweet and innocent. And I just thought to myself that she knows, but she doesn't really know what I've done. And I felt like such a fraud. I love her, more than anything, but I'll taint them. They are so perfect, so pure right now. I just had to get out of there before I ruined them."

It was too much to hold back and he felt a big ugly sob coming on. Here he was, a hulking beast of a man crying over a tiny old lady's fingers. "Uh, I should go now. I am so sorry to have taken your time Mrs. Foster." He moved to get up out of the pew but she held on tight to his hand again.

"No. You should sit right here, have a bit of a cry, and just be. Let me mother over you a minute. You are so very young to have such burdens."

Ray had shrunk back against the wall during their conversation and although he'd tried not to listen, he couldn't help it. He felt a little guilty for the way he and Kat had joked about Garth's panicked look earlier. At the same time, hearing him voice his fears helped Ray feel better himself. He quietly gathered his materials and stood, ducking his head in hopes he could make it out the door without being recognized.

Garth kept speaking, still oblivious to his audience. "I'm pretty young, I know, but Riley is too young. She should be having a carefree youth. Do you know what kind of trouble I got into at that age? Instead I've ruined her chance at that kind of freedom."

Debbie snorted. "Ruined her life? I doubt that. Changed it, yes. But I bet she'd say changed it for the better. No, actually, I know she'd say that. That girl spent twenty minutes at the party discussing her plans to organize a healthy spouses group once you move on to Fort Leonard Wood. She's already got plans to open a fitness studio specializing in parent-kid classes. So I'd say she is hook, line, and sinker committed to life with you." She stood to face Garth and Ray stopped in his tracks at the edge of the pew. With her small stature she was barely taller than Garth was sitting down, but Ray saw her eyes widen as she realized they weren't alone. Her face softened into a welcoming smile.

"Come in and join us Ray. This is a nice chapel, isn't it?" He flushed as he realized that she was pretending he hadn't just eavesdropped on their entire conversation. He slipped the pencil behind his ear and shuffled down the aisle to the front.

"Hey Sergeant. Does this mean you're officially a dad now?" He didn't know what else to say. Congratulations? Don't worry it's not so bad?

"Yeah, two girls." Garth whipped out his phone and began pulling up pictures. "This is Vera and this is Jayne." To Ray they just looked like California raisins wearing hats but Garth's face softened as he showed a very exhausted looking Riley lying back with the twins tucked into each arm.

"You're in love with them already, aren't you?" Ray suddenly realized that the half panic, half dread feeling he'd had all night was the exact same thing. "That's awesome man."

Simpson-Slattery shifted over leaving room on the seat for Ray. "It's terrifying. They are so perfect and I, well I'm not. I don't want to mess them up. And I still feel like a kid myself."

"I'm just going to pop back upstairs and see if anyone wants me to bring them anything from home. See you later gentleman."

Ray wanted to scowl at Debbie and tell her he knew what she was doing but at the same time, he wanted to say thanks. Instead he just pulled out his own phone and scrolled to a recent group picture. "Don't worry, they all get screwed up somehow. Look at this bunch." He pointed out Gabe's inability to chew with his mouth shut and the twins obsession with some actor named Jake T. Somebody. "Seriously, despite all these things, and my inexpert guidance, they seem to all be doing ok."

Garth nodded but Ray wasn't sure he was convinced. "So what are you doing here then?" He asked.

Ray showed him the comic. "Ethan, he's eight. He busted up his spleen messing around on skateboards the other night. It's just one of those things that happens." As he said it the knot that had been in his back all night suddenly unraveled. Sure, he could have told the kid to stick to more tame stuff. But really, he couldn't have predicted that Ethan would get injured and he wasn't a doctor so how could he have known how serious it was?

"Poor kid. He's going to be ok?"

"That's what the doc says. Anyways, I came down here to work on a little gift for him to have when he comes out of surgery. I couldn't help overhearing what Mrs. Foster had to say. She's a pretty nice lady."

Garth nodded but he narrowed his eyes. "A bit of a busy body though, isn't she?"

"I know right!" Ray shrugged. "But seriously, it's nice to have some people around that you can trust to look out for the kids' best interest when you aren't around. Believe me, the kids will love you no matter what, so you might as well make it easy on yourself and take help when it is offered." Garth pinched his lips together but the wrinkles around his eyes had relaxed a bit. "And on that note, I should mention that I have a gaggle of preteen girls who would love to lend a hand for a few bucks. They probably aren't ready to babysit, but they all know how to do dishes, laundry, and cleanup…and they work cheap."

Garth swallowed. "Good to know. I was doing the math the other day and 12 diapers a piece per day is going to be a chore!"

They sat in silence for a while and Ray returned to his sketching. When his phone beeped with a message from Kat he rolled up his papers again. "That's my notice that Ethan is coming out of surgery. Gotta go cheer him up. Listen, if you want to blow off some steam later, I do laundry on the 7th floor at about 11 every night. You're welcome to join me anytime."

As he rode the elevator back up to the ward where Ethan would be, he thought about what he'd said to Garth. He hadn't realized until just then how much he'd been putting off getting the long term plan for the kids sorted out. It had all been a sort of murky mystery he would figure out in the distant future. But now he was beginning to get a hint of an idea how to help them have the childhoods they deserved. As soon as Ethan was back in his room, comfortable and on his way to recovery, he went looking for Debbie Foster.


	23. Chapter 23 - Forever Blue

**Forever Blue, Chris Issak**

Val pushed away her laptop, which she had been swearing over for the last three hours. "Come on, we're going to take a walk." At the word walk, Halsey jumped to his paws and went to sit beside the door.

Kara looked up from where she was telling Kat how to enter the schedule for a bunch of interviews onto the executive team's calendar. "I can't take a break now. Chandler said President Michener's security is high priority and I have to get ready for the interviews tomorrow."

Val glanced toward the back office where Tom was looking out the big windows to the parking garage below. "This is about Michener's security. I need to puzzle something out and I do my best thinking when I walk."

"Right now? It has to be now?" Seriously, if it wasn't for the fact that Val had gotten the broadband Internet set up and now they could use VoIP phones in the general St. Louis area, she would think all the woman did was goof off. Besides, the best she felt up to was a slow shuffle. Flutter had a foot wedged in her ribs that was killing her. "Then what do you need me for?"

"I need a sounding board."

Kara sighed. Val would poke at her until she gave in so she might as well give up now. "Fine. But I need to be back in half an hour."

The giant wooden beads that had suddenly showed up in Val's messy jumble of braids and dreads clacked together as she nodded. "Deal."

Kara turned her face up to the sun the moment they exited the building. For early March, it felt warm on her cheeks. "I have a million things to do Val." She gave Halsey permission and he sprinted into the open area of the square, kicking up the scent of mud and grass in the air. A few people were walking along the sidewalk to and from the market but mostly it was quiet.

Val sighed. "I know, I know. But I wanted to go over this in private and it would look a little suspicious if we went into the back office to trade whispers."

That got Kara's attention. She directed them toward the middle of the square where they could sit on a bench without anyone around them. "This is so secret you don't want Kat to know?"

"Yes." Val pulled a small notebook out of one of her voluminous pockets. "Ok, so I think I've figured out a new tidbit about our trouble making messenger." The page she opened to was full of small dots with spokes connecting them. "I got to thinking that our mystery man had to be on the inside based on the information and the timing of what they were able to transmit."

Kara agreed. As much as it pained her to accept that the list of possible operators was painfully small, the reality was staring them all in the face. A very few people had been privileged to know the President's itinerary. "We already knew that, but go on."

Val flipped pulled out a pen and tapped the center dot. "OK, so the way these messages are being sent is some kind of direct sat phone or something of that nature. It could be hidden in some other electronic equipment and they could be typing the message on a phone or just about any other innocuous looking electronic device. So from our end the chances of catching the person are extremely slim because we'd practically have to catch them in the act. And the message is essentially broadcast, meaning it's not directed at any particular computer or address as far as I can tell."

Kara felt her impatience rising. "I know all this. How does it help us find our man?"

Val smirked. "It seems like an impossible problem but I thought of a solution the other day when Alisha was…well never mind what she was doing. Just ok, look at this." She drew a circle on the pad and surrounded it with a concentric circle. Then she drew a zig zag pattern across them both in a dotted line. "Most satellites don't stay fixed over a certain place on the globe, they each are programmed in specific orbital patterns. But these patterns are known and so the time when a satellite will pass over head can be predicted. You with me?"

Kara nodded, unsure where she was going with this. "Sure."

Val used her pen to mark off a beam going from earth to an orbital. "So right now we're picking up the messages in transmission to the satellites. But they stay in the memory there for some time and then are erased. There have been 17 different satellites used for his messages, all part of the same communication network." Her voice elevated triumphantly.

"So, this tells us what? Which phone company he prefers?"

"More, much more." Val began ticking off her fingers. "Number 1,these are all secure DoD satellites so he's inside the DoD. Number 2, he's got some mad computing skills or he's been equipped by someone with mad computing skills because he's managed to get encrypted messages onto 17 different secure sats."

"Could a private citizen do that?" Kara knew, as soon as she said it that Val would love the comment.

"I only know of two who could, and I'm the only one I can confirm is still living." She smirked. "But I'm sure there were plenty of people inside the CIA or NSA that could. "Of course, it would be easier for them, having all the information right at their fingertips and all. Since I don't have all my old notes it took me two weeks of pings to get the satellite schedule worked out well enough and then another three days to do it over when I managed to lose the notebook I had sketched them out on."

"You are the best Val."

"I am. Which is why number 3 is such a kicker. Just like messages are only transmitted from one place, only one satellite carries the message at any given time, and only 1 transmits it back. So if we know roughly where the person was were when they transmitted we can narrow down which satellites received the message and only track a few."

Kara looked up, remembering maps of satellite routes from a long ago meteorology class. "And if we know that satellite's path, we can figure out where it was when it erased the message from memory, presumably right after re-transmission." She could see where Val was going now. "So just like intercept vectors, if we plot the ranges of each satellite at the moment of re-transmission we should be able to significantly narrow down the location of the recipient!"

"Bingo!" Val flipped her notebook closed. "So it doesn't tell us who is receiving the messages but it does help us get closer."

"So have you found a re-transmission location yet?"

"That's just the thing." Val clicked her pen nervously. "I have, but the locations make no sense."

"Locations?"

Val nodded and flipped to another page where a crudely drawn map depicted the Eastern Pacific. "They've all occurred between Hawaii to Anchorage. It's not a straight line, but they are clearly falling along a fairly well defined path."

Kara studied the map, incredulous. She knew that route. "It's a ship!"


	24. Sharpen 24 - Amortiguador

****Amortiguador, Andea Echeverri****

Kat was sitting on the edge of the fountain while the younger kids ran in circles and giggled with Halsey. "You're a hard woman to track down Kathleen!" Debbie Foster took a seat beside her and waved to the gaggle of middle school girls trying to get her attention from across the square. "Oh just look at them. You'd think I'd bought them prom dresses rather than just cut their hair."

Kat laughed and watched as the five girls in matching pixie cuts giggled uproariously about something. "You saved the day. I don't know what made Rena think she could just look at a few pictures in magazines and give them all the same cut given how different their hair was to begin with." She tugged on one of her own strands of hair. "They look cute but I'm so glad I didn't get roped into it too!"

Debbie's eyes sparkled. "Ask Kara about her third grade class picture incident sometime." She adjusted her scarf and Kat had the feeling she was settling in for a longer conversation when she tucked her arms into the opposite sleeves for extra warmth. "So, I just had a long conversation with Ray about the plan for the kids while he is at sea." Kat's heart sank a little. She'd known it was coming, even pushed Ray to make some concrete plans, but she hated the idea that their little group was going to be broken up. Still, she couldn't see any other way. "Vince is on board with the idea of taking them to Kansas after Kara has her baby. That way they can be settled in on the farm before school starts in the fall. He's going to leave tomorrow to go figure out if it is safe there."

Kat smiled despite the slow slug of her leaden blood. They'd already been over it but, "I want to go, really I do, but my place is with my own dad. He needs to have family to come back to."

Debbie nodded with a sigh. "I figured you would say that. And I want you to know that you will always be welcome, to visit or to stay. Your father too. Plus, there's plenty of room for horses there, should you ever decide you need to get away from the city life."

She spied Ethan about to climb up on a stair railing for some kind of game. "Ethan Gerald Norris use your head! Your first set of stitches hasn't even healed yet." His little shoulders jerked around her way and he scowled but he backed away from the railing too. "Thanks Debbie. You know I won't be a stranger. Despite my reluctance to get involved, these kids have become part of me. Or maybe I've become part of them. I'm not quite sure."


	25. Sharpen 25 Move Like You Want

**Move Like You Want, Ben Howard**

Alisha strode into the office for their regular ten o'clock coffee and coordination meeting. They were making one last pass through the security and logistics for the enlistment ceremony this afternoon. "Commander Green! You are looking fine today."

Kara tugged her jacket more tightly around herself, more out of habit than anything. There was no disguising the protrusion of her belly now. "That's nice of you to say. I did fancy up my hair for the ceremony this afternoon."

"I meant it. You are getting the rosy glow that everyone who is not pregnant wishes they had."

"You mean the constant feeling of being overheated? Yeah, I've got that. Along with swollen feet and a fierce craving for french fries. "I have been dreading this ceremony ever since I ran the three day forecast on Monday. We're going to have heat and humidity a little early this year."

Alisha handed over a large cup of iced tea. "Don't worry. Aunty Alisha is here to rescue you."

Kara patted the chair next to hers. "Is that what we're going to call you? It suits you."

Alisha sighed as she dropped into the seat and rolled it back so she could tip the seat back against the wall. "I hear it's the next best thing." She pointed to a second cup of tea on the edge of Kara's desk. "Where's Val? I brought her some of that disgusting Peruvian herbal stuff she loves."

"Oh you just missed all the drama. Michener has decided that he wants to turn this little right of passage for the recruits into a media circus. She and Mason went to get some equipment to broadcast his speech. Throw the tea in the fridge. She's been swearing for two hours already. By the time she gets back I'm sure she'll be ready for some kind of herb."

Alisha bared her teeth and grunted. "Ugh, she'll be a total bear later. I think we need to get her a new job. In addition to the fact that she doesn't like his politics, she can't stand the fact that he does everything on the fly. She'll be talking my ear off all night about how, even if he is the president, he can't just expect everyone to jump to his bidding all the time."

"All night huh?" Kara grinned. "So it's going well?"

Alisha tipped her head back, her big eyes closed, and sighed heavily. "I don't know. I like her so much it's scary. Even the ranting, it's just part of her passionate nature and I'm really attracted to that."

"Oh yeah? Got any juicy details to tell?"

"Nope. Besides, I hear your second trimester hormones have kicked in full swing. You don't need my stories to augment your own sex life."

Kara was flabbergasted. "Where did you hear that. If that husband of mine…"

Alisha almost spit her tea across the office. "No, he hasn't said anything. But Burk was giving him a hard time because he fell asleep at the gym yesterday. One minute he was stretching and the next he was snoring. What are you doing to the poor man?"

Kara flushed and shrugged. It really had been her fault. But when she'd come back from her third bathroom trip of the night the moonlight had been shining in the bedroom window, falling on her husband. And he'd been laying there, naked and sprawled out with no shame. She had gotten soaking wet in the three steps it took from the bathroom to the bed, suddenly understanding why everyone said the second trimester was awesome. "If you're not going to kiss and tell, neither am I. But seriously, Val seems a little less head over heels this week than last week. Did something happen? She's going downriver in a few days, better fix it now."

"A few days?" Kat stuck her head around the door from where she'd been working in Chandler's office. "I thought the ship didn't sail until next Monday?"

"The ship doesn't, but Chandler and Garnett decided last night that the overland team headed to the coast is going on Wednesday to get ready. Ray and your dad didn't tell you?"

Kara watched as Kat tried and failed to keep her expression neutral. "I guess I got the days wrong." Her eyes fell. "Can I go out for a while Kara? I need to uh, do something."

Kara didn't see her again until the ceremony that afternoon. She and the kids had front row seats on the grass facing the courthouse steps. After Michener's speech announcing his new program dividing the country into zones so that food and medical support could be coordinated regionally, he performed the swearing in ceremony himself. It certainly wasn't unheard of for a president to make a show of being Commander-In-Chief, but usually they used events like graduation from the service academies as their platform. Still, Kara thought he held himself well as he inspected the young men and women.

After the ceremony the new recruits were released to greet their families and she was pretty sure she caught a glimpse of Kat kissing Ray on the cheek when no one else was looking. She'd figured the wind was blowing that was for a while but still, it was sweet to see them in action.

Once the recruits were sent home for the evening, Danny came to collect her from the steps. "I have a treat for you." He held up a plastic shopping bag. "I want to give you this present but I'm a little afraid you'll be mad at me."

Curiosity drove her to hold out her hand. "The only way to find out what I think about it is to let me see what it is."

He passed over the bag. "If you're mad, please know I mean well. There wasn't a ton of options at the market."

She reached in and pulled out a scrap of royal blue lycra. A second darker blue piece remained in the bag. "A bikini?"

"Ray and Colin have declared the pool at the YMCA properly chlorinated and they are opening it for the kids this evening. I thought we could join them but I wasn't sure if your old suit would fit." She was pretty sure that the funny squirm in her belly was her stomach panicking at the idea of appearing in public in a bathing suit and not Flutter himself.

"I don't know. I would love to swim but…do you think we could go after everyone is finished? There's no need to subject them to the great white whale."

He laughed, his green eyes sparkling. "Nope. The pool will be open from 1700 to 1900, that's all. Then our earstwhile lifeguards have other obligations."

She eyed the suit. It would be heavenly to float around and relax for a while. "Alright, I'll go. But if the suit doesn't work out I'll just sit on the edge and dip my toes."

The suit certainly made her feel self conscious. She had never been super comfortable with a bikini in the first place but then to have her new figure on display was downright un- nerving. It didn't help that when she looked down she could just barely see her flip flops leaving red impressions in the puffy flesh of her swollen feet. Still, the minute she'd walked in the Y and smelled the familiar scent of chlorine she'd known she was unlikely to just sit on the edge. The sound of kids laughing and splashing echoed off the old tile walls as she wrapped herself in a large towel and tiptoed to the locker room door. With a steadying breath, she yanked it open.

The pool was packed. In addition to all the kids, it felt like half the crew was there. Danny and Burk were tossing a beach ball over the heads of some kids in a game of monkey-in-the-middle. She waved to Commander Garnett who was reading a novel in a lounge chair by the large windows overlooking the river. She'd put on a large straw hat and a wrapped in a robe with a tropical flower theme to appear like a Hollywood celebrity. "Andrea! I didn't realize so many people would be here." She gestured toward the raucous pool. "Is this the spa corner?"

Andrea laughed. "I figure they will tire themselves out and head to dinner in a little while. After that the grown ups can take over. That's what always happened with Lily. She would beg me to take her to the pool but after twenty minutes her teeth would be chattering and her lips blue and we'd call it a day. I was just thinking that a nice Tiki bar could fit in that corner over there."

Kara perched on the end of a lounger and watched as Danny jumped out of the water, displaying an extra foot of tan and toned abs in his effort to catch the beach ball. Damn he was a fine looking man. Her mind wandered to the kind of fun they could have if it was just the two of them at the pool and she almost missed the ball when he threw it her way. "Hey! You promised to join us! Don't be shy, come on in."

Behind her, Andrea chuckled. "Trust me, the feeling of getting off your poor feet is going to be worth it."

With a sigh, she unwrapped the big towel and quickly headed for the steps at one end of the pool. She slipped into the water as fast as she could manage. Andrea was right. As the cool water enveloped her lower legs she sighed in pleasure. She pushed back from the wall and circled her hands in a lazy tread to keep her head above water.

Two of the kids, who were playing some kind of silly game that involved dipping underwater and coming up giggling, bumped into Kara.

"Sorry Commander Green." One of the girls apologized. "Want to play underwater tea party with us?"

She let them teach her the rules and tried to play along. But she found it was harder to sink than it used to be.

"Sorry girls, I think I'll have to stick to floating about today."

Across the pool she saw Danny nod to Burk and head her way with quick easy strokes. "Feel good?"

"You don't know the half of it! I hope someone decides to open this place for real. I will come every day. I don't care how huge I get."

Danny laughed and reached out an arm under the water. His fingers glided over the bare skin of her back as he pulled her closer. "Come on. There's a calmer spot where we can just tread around. They bobbed in the middle watching the kids play around them. "It won't be long before we're taking Flutter to swim lessons." He gestured to where several little girls were following along as Ray demonstrated putting his face in the water and blowing bubbles.

She winked at Danny. "Let's get him born first before we start worrying about lessons and sports teams." She indicated where Kat was following along with the little kids. She had a muscled grip on the pool edge and her face was tight with concentration. "Besides, just because we like the water doesn't mean he will. Look at Kat. Her father swam miles in the open ocean with Chandler, but she can hardly float."

Danny grinned. "Oh, I thought she was just over there to flirt with Lee." He nodded toward where the tall man was gracefully swimming up and down along a yellow and blue lane line. "I think he's sweet on her. I overheard him asking Ray if he'd seen her the other day and if she had said anything about what happened after the party. He seemed quite concerned that she might be upset. There was definitely a heavy note of something happened in the air." He kicked harder to be able to hold his hands out of the water and make air quotes around the "something happened".

"Kat and Lee? I don't know. You know she's so friendly with everyone that it's easy to read too much into it." Ray waved Emma, Dylan, Colin, and Rob over to the area on the edge where the lesson was occurring to help the younger kids try to float. Kat edged over to the lane line and shook her head when Rob held his hand out to indicate that he'd hold her to keep her from sinking. "See, all those young people are friendly with one another. It's pretty nice how much they support each other." She watched as Kat shook her head in vigorous protest and then scowled at Ray when he insisted she should give it a try.

Her assessment of Lee as just a friend to Kat was challenged when he stopped at the end of his lap and invited her to join him in his lane. With a quick glance at Rob, Kat ducked under the lane line. When Kara caught the glowing smile Kat bestowed on Lee and the deep scowl Rob aimed at her back, she wondered if she'd been misinterpreting all along. Maybe a budding romance wasn't as far fetched as it seemed. Maybe that kiss she'd seen with Ray was more brother-sisterly. It had been on the cheek after all. Somehow the idea was strangely disappointing. "Maybe these hormones are making me feel too much like an old lady matchmaker."

Danny edged closer so that their legs brushed each other under he water. The feel of his warm skin gliding over hers right there in public gave her a delicious shiver. "How do you feel about eating in tonight?" Swimming is making me starving!

"Eating in bed you mean?" he took her hand and turned her toward the ladder. "I feel good about that. Certainly better than I do about playing guessing games about the love lives of teenagers." And when he brushed against her as she reached up to grasp the poles that made up the ladder handrails, she felt the evidence of exactly how good he felt about it.


	26. Sharpen 26 - Angola Bound

**Angola Bound, Aaron Neville**

Two days later Danny hung his head between his knees as he listened to what Wolf was describing. He and Tex had been laying low in a backwater a few miles upstream from the bend in the Mississippi where the Nathan James would have to navigate two missile batteries on its way downstream. They already had a plan to deal with the one on the west bank but it was the one the satellite imagery suggested was located inside the prison grounds on the east bank that they had to figure out, and fast. "It was like the prison was still operating as usual. I could see men in orange jumpsuits through the fences and there are definitely still guards in the towers. The only hint that something funny was going on was that the guards were facing outwards."

"Fuck. No way to tell if they are civilians or military then." The small boat they were in rocked as he smashed a hand down on the gunwale. This stuff never got easier, did it? When Kara had sent the updated satellite images that showed a missile battery inside the prison grounds he'd known they were fucked. Chandler would never authorize firing on the facility if it held actual civilians. That's why Wolf had been sent to investigate. If a case could be made that it had become a military operation they could engage, but from the sounds of it they were going to have a much more difficult task at hand.

Wolf ruffled his hair with his hand. "Nope. There were people everywhere. It seriously looked like a normal, albeit horrible, prison operation."

"So we're going to have to figure out a better way of shutting it down than bombing it to kingdom come. Shit. Got any ideas?"

"I detoured into the neighborhood nearby. There weren't too many people around but I did find these. He pulled a neon yellow flyer out of his thigh pocket and handed it over. Danny unfolded it. It was dated 6 days ago. "Think it's for real?"

"What is it?" It was the first they'd heard from Tex all night He'd been typing a report that was overdue to Slattery for hours.

"They're hiring guards. Promising the cure, food, water, and daily dosing."

Danny looked to Wolf. "Daily dosing? What the hell do they mean by that? Even the original cure only took one injection."

Wolf shook his head. "Fucked if I know."

Tex held out his hand to inspect the flyer. "You think it's another Amy Granderson situation? They've got an incinerator in there. Maybe they are just more effective than she was at disposing of the bodies?"

Danny shook his head. "I suspect the only way to find out is to apply. And we need to get someone inside to disarm that weapon anyway. Sounds like we can kill two birds with one stone. Who's feeling like a new job?"


	27. Chapter 27 - Perdido en Tus Ojos

**Perdido en Tus Ojos, Don Omar Feat. Natti Natasha**

Ray heard the scuff of a boot on the pier behind him and he slammed his sketch book shut. "Jeez, what are you drawing in there? Naked girls?" He let out a sigh of relief, it was just Miller.

"No, just sketching a comic." He took the bag of jerky Miller held out to him as he and O'Connor took seats on either side of him. "It's something I started doing to entertain the kids. Well, actually, even before that I used to draw them for my mom. She had a hard time after my Dad died." He passed the bag to O'Connor. "How long do we have before we have to be back on board?"

O'Connor glanced at his watch. "'Bout 2 hours. Master Chief sent us to let everyone know. Got any idea where Colin is?"

He nodded across the narrow strip of water toward Mobile Bay's commercial docks. "He's with Lee and Rob, at that bar over there, trying to charm the ladies." He hadn't met O'Connor until they left for this trip, but so far he liked him. He seemed like a pretty normal guy, despite the fact that he was kind of legendary in the crew for his bravery. Ray figured he should try to spend more time with him and Miller, and less with Colin, if he wanted to be taken seriously by the crew.

O'Connor sighed as he pushed back to his feet. "I suppose I have to go get them then. See you in a few."

Ray tore off some more jerky and chewed, content to just sit quiet. On the other side of the pier two new littoral ships, the Yukon and Rio Grande, rocked gently in the evening breeze. Garnett had given them their names two days ago, right before she handed out assignments and then took off back to St. Louis to join the Nathan James as it came down river. He was still torn over his urge to serve and the urge to take off and head home. Knowing he could be back in Miami in one long day's drive had taunted him these last two weeks in Mobile and Pascagoula. What if his mother was alive and wondering what had happened to him? This was as close as he'd been in months and in a few hours he was going to be headed the other way again. To be honest, he'd been thinking about it since the plan to come down and get the new ships had been presented. But on the other hand, there was Kathleen and there were 14 other people who would be devastated if he didn't come back. The kids had said they were OK when he left, but the more he thought about how Kat had railed about her father leaving, he wasn't so sure. "Which ship you on tonight?" he asked softly.

Miller swallowed. "Rio Grande with Burk, you?"

"Under Granderson on the Yukon." Across the way, sound spilled out of the rowdy bar as O'Connor opened the door. "You think this plan can work?"

"I think Commander Garnett is just about the smartest person I've ever met. If she thinks it can work, I believe it. Seriously, over the last year she's saved the Nathan James more times than I can count." Ray nodded. He sure hoped this worked. He'd been in the line of fire a few times now, and the chance of being hit with a missile or something like that didn't scare him. It was the chance that he might not die fast, that it might be painful and slow. And that he could know he was dying but not have a chance to say goodbye. He looked at the notebook in his hands. He'd been working though this one ever since they left Baton Rouge and he'd finished almost the entire thing, thanks to the story Kat had written. She'd even put in a cute girlfriend for the hero that sounded suspiciously like herself.

"You're pretty artistic, right? I mean, I heard from Burk that you can draw."

Miller shrugged. "Yeah, I got in the Navy to save for art school…well, and to dry out because my Grandfather wouldn't let me have any tuition money until I did."

Ray flipped through the pages. "OK, well then can you take this, just in case? It's almost finished. If something happens to the Yukon, you'll be able to get it back to the kids eventually. There's only a few pages to finish."

Miller's brows shot up. "You want me to take your comic book for you?"

Ray considered a second and then set it into Miller's lap before he could change his mind. "Yeah, if it all turns out well, you can give it back to me when we cross paths again. I've got others I'm working on back in St. Louis."

Miller opened up the cover and began flipping through the drawings. "These are pretty good." He began to read the text. "That's some seriously girly handwriting you got there. You write this story?"

Ray blushed. "No, it's just something to entertain the kids." Across the way the door opened again and the bright lights from inside lit up a slice of the water beneath their feet.

Miller closed up the book. "Do you mind if I read the whole thing while I have it?"

"I don't mind. Just don't laugh at my lack of talent is all."

"I don't laugh at people who are trying. I might give them a hard time, but I never laugh at them. Besides, I can already see that you have a great sense of white space. Just keep practicing, ok?"

"Oh look, it's the two namby pamby artists sharing a special moment before the big scary mission." Colin yelled over the water.

"You know you're such a pendejo Colin." Ray yelled back, and then instantly felt ashamed because who knew who could hear them shouting like idiots. Lee and O'Connor tried to steer Colin straight as he lost focus and headed for the water. Rob laughed uproariously, obviously drunk himself.

"Oh jeez, Burk and Granderson are not going to like this." Miller hauled himself to his feet. "Come on, let's round up some coffee and get him to his rack."

"Shouldn't we just let him fall on his own sword?" Ray suggested.

Miller shook his head, tucking Ray's notebook under his arm. "Nah, first time, we help our guy get it together, give him a chance to sort himself out." They reached the end of the pier and came face to face with O'Connor.

"Second time around, we let him clean up his own mess." O'Connor finished. "I know a place. I did a training class in P-Cola last year and a few of us used to come over here. If it's still open, it will work."

Five minutes later they had joined a large group in a cafe on the other side of the docks. Ray took a seat next to Dylan. "You having a good time?"

She grinned. "Yep! These are the most gutter minded people I've ever met. I'm in love!" Her big eyes seemed comically huge now that she'd chopped all her hair off. "You remember never ever have I ever, don't you?"

Memories of playing with all the other counselors at camp came back full force. "Of course. We need to get some coffee into Colin and Rob so I guess I'm in."

The rest of the new group pulled over chairs and made drink orders. With close to twenty people they filled the hole in the wall place completely. "All right, you know the rules." Dylan announced. "Each person makes a statement about something they claim to have done beginning with never ever have I ever. If you've done it, you drink. If not, you wait. If you know someone is lying, either way, you call them out and they have to forfeit a penalty. If only one person drinks, they have to tell the story."

She pointed at a short guy named Findley. "You're up Private."

"Never ever have I wet my pants during training." He took a sip of his coffee. Every one of the Army and Marine guys with them drank, and promptly began laughing.

"Ensign King, your turn."

Ensign King looked around shyly. "Never ever have I ever reassigned my work to the lowest member of the team."

"Hey!" Ray slapped Miller's shoulder when he took a big sip.

"Never ever have I ever worn an unapproved shirt or undies under my utilities." Quite a few drank to that one.

"Never ever have I ever fake cried to get out of something." Almost everyone drank for that one. Ray began trying to think up what he would say. It was fun to learn a little more about the people he'd been working with but there were many things he didn't want to share either.

Miller surprised someone with "Never ever have I ever been arrested." Only three people drank for that one.

"I'm going to want to hear that story sometime." He said quietly.

"Drunk and disorderly. Miller muttered. "Not too glamorous.

Ray felt all eyes turn to him. "Never ever have I ever touched a dead person." That one was always good around a campfire but in the bright lights of the cafe it sort of fell flat. These days it wasn't a shocker that almost everyone drank.

"We got to liven this game up!" a recruit named Gil said. "Never ever have I ever jerked off with someone else in the room." Most of the guys drank.

"Seriously?" Dylan giggled. "Why wouldn't you go somewhere private?"

Miller's cheeks were bright red when he said, "Well, some of us have spent months at a time living six to a room."

Across the circle Colin laughed and waggled his brows. "Yeah, and then there's getting a girl to do it on purpose with you so you can see what she likes." He was sitting up a little straighter but Ray wasn't sure if his lack of inhibition came from being drunk or just Colin being Colin.

"Really?" Miller nearly choked on his coffee.

"Yeah, of course." Ensign King was actually the one who chimed in to support Colin. "It's totally hot when someone shows you what they do for themselves." After that the topics became far more risque.

The circle came back around to Rob. He was slouched in one of the larger chairs, one limp arm slung over the armrest idly swirling a bottle of water as he spoke. "Never ever have I ever gotten it on with one of the mucky muck's daughters whule they were at a party." Rob was the only one who drank and several people looked around nervously.

"Nooooo! Not my Emma!" Colin hung his head. "You knew I wanted her you bastard. I'm calling bullshit. Tell the story or you forfeit. We need to know who, when, and where."

Rob grinned and winked at Lee. "As for who, I will keep that to myself but it was in the laundry room at the Radisson, the night of the block party, and that girl had the sweetest ass I've ever laid a hand on." It took a moment for the words to sink in but when they did, Lee practically threw himself across the room.

Lee leaned down in Rob's face. "Fucking creep! You stay away from her! It was you who bruised her arm after the party, wasn't it?" Lee had Rob by the shirt front. Ray felt the blood drain from his face as the taunts Rob had made over the last few weeks suddenly made sense. The shape of the bruise on Kat's arm came into focus. How could he not have seen it was a handprint. How could she not have told him ob was harassing her?

Miller and O'Connor caught Lee under the arms and Rob tsk tsk'd as they hauled him back. "I can't help it if her tastes run more toward the men then the boys." He sneered. Nearly everyone in the place was on their feet now.

Colin looked nervously between Rob and his friends. "Chill Lee, Rob wouldn't hurt a girl, would you Rob?"

"Nah, not unless it's one who likes it rough." Ray felt sick to his stomach. This guy had been part of their group. They had dismissed his obnoxiousness as stupid macho guy stuff. He should have paid attention. He should have taken it seriously. He wished Miller and O'Connor weren't in his path to Rob's neck.

"You're a sick asshole Rob." Lee was shouting. "I saw her that night and she almost threw up in the hallway she was so upset. If you hurt her, I'm not the only one that will rightfully beat the crap out of you."

Dios, how could Lee not have told him? Lee immediately turned to him. "She begged me not to tell you man." Lee's eyes pleaded for him to understand.

He couldn't comprehend it. Why wouldn't she tell him, or go to her father, or Slattery or someone who could have done something about it. "Why?" He asked Lee.

Rob interjected, "Maybe she liked it more than she let on."

"That's enough!" Lee's fist lashed out so fast there was no chance for anyone to stop it. Rob dropped to the floor with a sickening crunch.

Chaos broke out. The owners of the place were yelling for them all to get out. Lee was holding his bruised knuckles and backing away from where Rob lay on the floor whining. "My nose, fuck my nose! " A couple people tried to help him to his feet but he shouted at them too. "Jesus Christ it's just barley healed from the last time. Get away from me!" as he pushed up on one arm.

O'Connor started tugging Ray to the door while Ensign King, who was the highest ranked person in the group raised her voice over the din. "Come on, everyone out, we've got to be back to the ship in twenty minutes anyway."

"Thanks man." Ray mumbled to Lee as Miller and O'Connor escorted them back. His mind was whirling. What else didn't he know. Was she really hurt? Was she ok? How did she get away from Rob? Had Rob assaulted other girls? His stomach was in his throat thinking about the possibilities.

"Don't thank me. I did it for Kat, not you. Besides, who knows what's going to happen when Burk and Granderson get word of this. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Really. Kat is my friend and I couldn't betray her trust."

Ray sighed. He wanted to punch just about everyone, but deep down, he know Lee was sincere. "Look, if there's any fallout from punching the scum bag, it was my fault too. Really, I should take some of the blame off of you."

Lee laughed. "Ha, Burk would never believe a shrimp like you could do so much damage. Besides, it felt good. It's been killing me not knowing who it was. I don't regret it one bit."

Miller patted Ray on the back. "If it comes down to it, we'll all stick up for you guys. But Granderson is more likely to go all mama bear and place the blame exactly where it belongs, squarely on Rob."

Three hours later Ray had no better answers. He stood on the deck at his assigned post staring out into the dark harbor as they made ready to depart. Rob had come aboard and disappeared into the berthing area so Ray had no idea what the condition of his nose was. Neither Granderson or Burk had summoned anyone about the incident. And when he'd tried to call Kat, Brie had answered the phone, filled with bubbly cheerfulness, and assured him that Kat was reading bedtime stories and maybe he should call earlier tomorrow.


	28. Chapter 28 - Who Changed the Game

**Who Changed the Game, Dr. Paul Jr. And the Zydeco Nubreeds**

"Fuck, fuck, double fuck." Danny stomped around the small tract house they were using for a base of operations. Both Wolf and Tex had struck out applying for jobszzz at the prison. "I can't believe they wouldn't hire you. We gave you an impressive resume."

Wolf shook his head. "I know. But like I said, they didn't even read it. They were done with me as soon as they heard my accent."

Danny turned to Tex. "You too?"

"Disqualified me because I don't speak Spanish. Told them I knew enough Portuguese, Serbian, Russian, Dari, and Mandarin to get by but they didn't buy it."

Wolf snorted. "You speak all those languages?"

"Only enough to order a drink and ask for the bathroom. But they don't speak 'em either so what would it matter? But they also said they didn't need my kind of experience level. Didn't think they could pay my kind of salary. Do me a favor Green, make sure that gets in the report to Slattery."

"Too experienced? Seriously?" Danny scrambled to think of a reason they would want less experienced guards. "Sounds like they don't want people who know what it's usually like inside a prison."

"I'd agree." Wolf paced. "I think we need someone younger and naive looking who speaks Spanish if we still want to go the guard or cop route. I think we can probably manage the reverse prison break if we really want to get one of ourselves inside, but there's no guarantee whoever goes in is coming back out. If we can get a person who has a legitimate reason to be on the inside, that would be better." He fixed his gaze on Danny. "And no, you cannot do it. I promised your wife I'd have you home in time to meet that baby."

"We need Cruz. He could totally pull off mean-mannered prison guard." Fuck. They needed in that hellhole and they needed it yesterday.

"Yeah but he had to have a break. We all know he was going to crack without it." Wolf defended his absence.

Tex looked between Danny and Wolf. "What about Diaz? He could pull off the cop routine. According to the deep psychological analysis of my 17 year old daughter, the kid has adopted all those kids because his dad was a cop. Has a real protective streak in him."

Danny shook his head. "No way. Just no way. He's a kid and this could go wrong six ways to Sunday."

"That ship's not coming down the river unless we get someone on the inside and in case you haven't noticed, we're short on people right now. So maybe we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth." Tex gestured wildly as he grew attached to the idea. "He takes orders well. All we need him to do is apply for a job and take a tour. He slaps a little C4 onto the missiles. He walks out at the end of his shift, there's a big bang, mission accomplished."

Danny slammed his fist onto the gunwale again. "I don't like it. Slattery's gonna hate it. Besides, if we wanted to blow the thing to kingdom come then we could do that remotely. No, we have to disarm it without killing a bunch of civilians who have nothing to do with it."

Wolf ran a hand down his beard. "I think we have to try. We don't exactly have 20 guys to pick from and what other ideas do we have?"

Danny hung his head. "Ok, but if we do this, I'm going in with him. My wife will hate it but she'd also never forgive me if we sent him in there alone."


	29. Chapter 29 - Anticipation Blues

**Anticipation Blues, Tennessee Ernie Ford**

Kara shuffled the papers in her hand so she could shove her annoying flyaway hair back behind her ears. It was always static-y after leaning against the paper covered pillow in the ultrasound lab. On the one hand, she ought to be annoyed that her new doctor here in St. Louis was having her come in every other week just to be safe. So far, no ill effects from her participation in the trial for the cure had surfaced. But on the other hand, the night before each new scan she could barely sleep. That was when she relived the events in Baltimore in the wee hours of the morning. The doctor had yet again assured her that everything was ok with the baby. She wished Danny could have been there this time to see how much Flutter moved. Last night her nightmares about Baltimore had mixed with dreams of alligator attacks, immune holdouts, and having to wait until he came back to tell him she hadn't been able to save their baby after all. They still had three months to go, and at this point they might as well change Flutter's name to Rocky because it felt like the baby was training for heavyweight champ. But in those rare moments when Flutter rested quietly she found herself laying still, just willing the next brush of a tiny hand or twitch of a tiny limb to happen. Even without Danny there, seeing the bouncing baby on screen was a wonderful relief.

After the appointment there had been several forms to fill out. The midwife said it was just in case anything happened and they had to bring her in quickly. She'd shuddered and patted Flutter to reassure herself as she filled out some of the questions about religion and next of kin. "You're ok in there, right?" Although she generally loved her appointments, after that she had wanted to get out of there and back into the midafternoon sun as quickly as possible. So she'd handed it in and jetted for the door.

Halfway down the long hall she regretted not stopping in the restroom. When she spied a blue sign indicating a restroom at the next juncture of hallways it was with great relief. At least the maternity ward had plenty of bathrooms. She swore it had only been twenty minutes since she last went. Before continuing on to her car she stood at the mirror and attempted to re-do her hair into a neat and orderly bun at the base of her neck. She had just replaced the final pin when the door to the restroom opened with a loud squeak. Kara looked up in time to see brown hair whip around as a petite girl changed her mind about coming in to the bathroom. As the heavy door swung shut with a second squeak, Kara's brain caught up with the incongruity of seeing someone out of context. What was Kat Nolan doing here?

Hastily, she grabbed her bag and waddled for the door. "Damn." The hallway was empty. She had hoped to catch her and gently inquire about why she was at the hospital. She couldn't exactly run but she hustled out to the tee in the hallway as fast as she could. Sure enough, there was Kat's ponytail swinging along between pale yellow cinder block walls along the long hallway that led back toward the parking garage.

Although there weren't a lot of people around, Kara didn't want to call out her name. Clearly she was uncomfortable being seen. So she set off behind her, hoping to catch up by the time they reached the elevators. She heard the ding of the opening door just as she rounded the corner. "Hold that door!" She was breathless as she slid through into the car. "Oh Kat! What a surprise seeing you here! I hope you are well." She tried her best not to be suspiciously nosy, making a point to smile reassuringly despite her heavy breathing.

Kat stepped a little closer, eyes wide with alarm. "Commander Green, Kara, are you OK? Were you running?"

She waved a hand absently. "Oh no, the baby just takes up my lung space is all." It wasn't a total lie, she did get out of breath a little easier these days, but she also walked a 5K during PT every morning so she might have been running, just a little.

The elevator reached the next floor and stopped. "Uh, my car's up here, see you around." Kat stepped out and Kara was quick to follow.

"Mine too, I think. Gosh I was in such a hurry coming in I forgot to look." She was 100% confident that her car was two floors up, but Kat didn't need to know that. "If you're not sick, is it one of the kids? Because my midwife did give me several recommendations on pediatricians."

"Oh, ah, yeah, I was just checking them out. I want to be prepared, just in case one of them is sick again while Ray is gone, or when he's here. Really, I just want to know who to call instead of going to the emergency room again. I'd guess that Doc Rios doesn't treat too many kids." Kara had never heard Kat babble like that. Her radar was instantly on alert.

She spied a purple stripe on the parking garage pole. "Shit. This is the purple level. I think I parked on red. Would you drive me around so I don't have to trek all over the garage to find my car?"

Kat narrowed her eyes on her, but if she was suspicious, she kept it to herself. "Yeah ok. I parked over by the outside wall."

She walked a little slower toward the car, allowing Kara to keep up. "So your appointment was good? The baby is doing ok?"

Kara sensed that Kat wasn't going to volunteer why she'd been on the maternity floor, but she humored her all the same. "Oh yes, it's doing great. I have to see the midwife every two weeks though and some days, it's darn inconvenient."

Kat passed between two cars easily but Kara had to twist to avoid getting winter grime on her overcoat. "Midwife? What's a midwife?"

"She's like a nurse practitioner who focuses on women's health. You should meet her. You would probably like her."

"Oh, I don't intend to have any babies any time soon." Kat kept her head down as she unlocked the passenger door of the ugliest car Kara had ever seen.

Kara slid into the cold vinyl passenger seat. "You know, there will be another car auction next week. You don't have to keep this one just because Chandler gave it to you. Honestly, you could probably trade it in to get something a little nicer. I can give you an advance on your salary if you need it."

Kat laughed as she started the engine and revved it a few times to keep it from immediately stalling. "Oh, Ray has already declared that he loves this car. Technically I don't have a license so I couldn't buy one in the auction. I tried to go to the DMV but the asshole there told me they wouldn't be scheduling tests for a few months yet."

"Jeez Kat, you don't even have a license yet. It's a little early to call the people at the DMV names." Kara held her tongue about the way Kat jerked the car into gear and nearly hit a support column backing out of the narrow parking garage space. "My car's on the top floor."

"Oh, he's not an asshole because it was the DMV. He's an asshole because he told me that if I showed him my tits he'd make me a license then and there, free of charge." Kara's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. She wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't like she didn't know there were jerks in the world. And ever since the flu had somewhat leveled the playing field by reducing the population so dramatically, it seemed like some guys thought they had more of a right to be aggressive or demeaning with women. It was almost like they let the urge to sow some oats before they died serve as an excuse to discard all social expectations.

She chewed her lip, wondering if she should say something to Kat about how to best handle guys like that. "Did your dad set you up with some kind of protection before he left with the team? Because if he didn't, I can help with that. I probably should help with that."

Kat's bark of laughter surprised Kara. "Uh, strange coincidence. That's what I came here for." Ah, that's what she'd thought. Kat kept her eyes on the narrow ramp of the parking garage but Kara sensed her nervousness anyways.

"A taser?" She decided to play dumb, just in case Kat really didn't want help. After all, if she was ready for that, she ought to be mature enough to say so.

She stopped the car behind Kara's SUV. "No, the other kind of protection…But I could use the taser too." She gripped the wheel with both hands. "But the doctor I tried to see said that unless I was 18, I had to be accompanied by my parent or husband. It's not as if I can bring the dad I hardly know with me for birth control. And I certainly am not going to get married to the first person who gets me hot and bothered, you know?"

Kara nodded. She did know. When she had first started dating Steve at the academy she'd been terrified to go to student health services and see the doctor. But at least she'd been able to get free condoms practically everywhere she turned on campus. Now-a-days they were hard to come by. She wasn't sure it was her place to advise Kat, but she had promised Tex she'd keep her out of trouble. Although, she had a feeling this wasn't what he had in mind. Way to jump into the parenting role feet first, she told herself. "Sooo, things are really serious with Lee?"

Kat's brow wrinkled. "Lee? Not Lee. Why would you think it was him?"

"I saw him, looking very possessive at the Y. During the swim lesson?"

Kat looked sullenly a the steering wheel. "Oh, well, that was about Rob and … Actually, it doesn't matter. It's not Lee but…Let's just say it's not even serious yet and it's really really complicated." So it was Ray after all. Kara tried to keep her smile off her face. "But…maybe soon? I don't know. We're not even dating, but we're kissing and ah…stuff. And he's way better at it than my old boyfriend. And as much as he really drives me crazy, I miss him right now. And I might want to you know, just be prepared?" It occurred to Kara that Kat had looked a little more like a typical miserable teenager and less like her usual perky self for the last week.

She considered the options. She could see if she could round up some condoms somewhere. She could give some speech about taking things slow. After all, Kat would be 18 in a few months. Or she supposed she could go in there and sign the papers or whatever so Kat could get what she needed. Kat was still talking. "But after the guy at the DMV creeped me out last week…and um, there was another scary incident, I started thinking about how dangerous it is to be a young woman and alone right now. It really freaked me out. And aside from the whole trauma part, I cannot afford to get in your situation, no offense. I've got enough kids to take care of already."

That made up Kara's mind. Babysitters didn't take ownership in that way. "Let's go park the car again. I'll take you in to the midwife's office and see what she thinks." Tex might be pissed at her later, but it was the right thing to do. "And tomorrow, I'm setting you up with some mace and a taser too."

"Thanks Kara." Kat still looked tense but her smile was genuine. "And thank you for not judging me. It's hard to know what people will think, you know?"

Wasn't it just yesterday she'd returned to the C.I.C. after Danny came down with Dengue fever feeling the exact same way? "Hey, you're talking to the woman who got knocked up while at sea, when she was definitely old enough to know better. No judgment here. I'm not condoning or condemning anything, just trying to give you more control over your own life."

As she waited outside of Kat's appointment, she tried to decide if she would say anything to Tex when he returned. She decided she'd have to ask her own mother for advice later and felt an unfamiliar gratitude that she was still in her life when she needed her most.


	30. Chapter 30 - L'Argent

**L'Argent (Remix), Lil Nathan and the Zydeco Big Timers **

Ray was having a very pleasant dream filled with warm sand, warm waves, and warm green eyes that reminded him of sea glass when someone rudely interrupted. "Come on Diaz. Granderson wants to see you ASAP." Lee tugged on his arm.

"Fuck off Lee. What time is it?" He shook the fog from his brain. He stood the dogwatch last night and then had a hard time falling asleep after witnessing the sun come up over the Gulf of Mexico.

"1430. You would have been up in an hour anyway."

He swung his legs over the side trying to think if there was anything he'd done that would warrant involvement from their C.O. but he couldn't think of anything…unless the axe was about to fall for the incident with Rob back in Mobile. But it had been two days and aside from a few people randomly approaching him to tell him Rob was an asshole who deserve it, he hadn't heard a peep about the incident. He dressed as fast as he could and headed off for her office. Given the catamaran design of the new littoral ship, he had to cross the open deck to get to the central stairs above decks. As he did, he realized that he hadn't seen the people waving and saying hello in a few days. He supposed that was another of those realities of the shipboard schedule that people got so used to they didn't think to tell new recruits. He would have loved to stop and catch up but he thought better of it and simply waved back. He noticed a helo had arrived and wondered where it came from, maybe Pensacola? Maybe someone in the crew's family had been located and they were flying them out? After being so close to home for two weeks with no news, he'd given up hoping that he'd somehow miraculously find his mother. He would like nothing more than to show off his uniform and job. He was sure she'd love to hear all about the kids and would probably cry over the list of friends he'd lost, especially Cody since she'd worked with his mother. But she'd be thrilled to learn about Kat. She'd want to know every detail from how she wore her hair to what kind of food she liked.

On these smaller ships the captain's office was also their quarters but no one answered when he knocked on Granderson's door. He checked the wardroom but the officer on duty at the door said to look elsewhere. After the CIC and the Nav room he found himself at the threshold to the bridge. "Permission to enter the bridge?" He asked Ensign King. She nodded curtly and he nearly tripped over the knee knocker as he took in the expansive view. He was pretty sure he could see land off of starboard but the port side was deep dark blue water all the way to the horizon. No wonder the officers loved being up here. "Mr. Diaz, sorry for interrupting your rest period but we've got to hurry." Granderson led him a few steps back down the p-way to her office. As she shut the door behind her he began to sweat. Had they finally figured out what had happened in Mobile? Was she about to kick him out, or maybe worse, call Chandler?

"If this is about what happened with Rob, I can explain." The best defense was a good offense, right?

"What?" Granderson cocked her head to the side. "Never mind, probably better I don't know. She took her seat across from him and sighed. "I almost can't believe we're considering this but I guess we have to. You speak Spanish, right?"

"Claro, yes?" So did Cruz, Rios, Mejia and he could think of at least four other people. "Why? Do you need a translator?"

"Sort of. We need someone who can apply for a job as one. And that someone has to be young and relatively inexperienced. That makes you our guy, if you're willing."

Huh, he couldn't decide whether to be offended that he was that guy or flattered that he was being selected for a special job. Then again, he had a lot of Christmas shopping to do this year. He put his hands on the edge of her desk and met her gaze. "Does it come with hazard pay?"


	31. Sharpen 31 - Take Your Eyes Off My Woman

**Take Your Eyes Off My Woman, Pinetop Perkins**

"I still feel really weird about this plan Sir." Ray checked the zipties on Lieutenant Green's wrists. "And I am genuinely scared of your wife so this better go well."

"You're nervous? I'm the one going into the Farm in cuffs! I don't know much about women, but I do know she'll never forgive me either if it goes wrong."

Wolf clasped Ray by the shoulder. "Just remember, the success of this mission, well most missions actually, isn't about being a hero. It's about sticking to the plan and being quick on your feet. OK mate?"

A small reminder of the shame he had felt after what had happened with Cody churned in his gut. "Got it."

"Now don't be surprised if they take your badge and gun and all that. The best way to keep a cover is to just go with the flow and keep your cool. You're pretty good at that already kid." Tex tipped his cap toward him. "Remember that and you'll do fine."

"Go with the flow, keep my cool. Got it." Tex thought he was good at it? Guess he hadn't heard about Mobile then.

Wolf helped Danny into the truck they'd commandeered for the charade. "Alright man. See you on the other side."

Ray took the driver's seat and they were off. He ran over the plan in his head. "15 minutes after lights out, right?"

"Right."

"And you need a Philip's head driver and a paint scraper?"

"Yes, I suppose it's a little late for me to ask if you know which kind of screwdriver is which?" Danny joked with an ease Ray definitely did not feel. If they were found out, he was pretty sure there was not going to be a day in court for him either. More like a bullet between his eyes, if they were kind enough not to shoot him in the gut and leave him to rot.

It only took about 5 minutes to reach the prison parking lot. Then he was grasping one of Danny's arms and pushing him in front of him toward the gate the way he'd seen a million times in the movies. "Sorry kid, it's got to look at least somewhat real." Danny squirmed and lashed out and Ray was forced to shove him against the a rusty column holding up the roof of the portico.

"I need a little help here!" He yelled toward the gate station. Two guys in khaki uniforms and wide brimmed hats came out, drawing their sidearms as they did.

"This is a restricted space of the Mexicali Federation!" One of the men yelled out. "State your business."

"Don't shoot. I'm bringing in a guy wanted up in St. Louis. I've got credentials." They were taking a big risk that they would even be interested in helping him but Danny said when in doubt, always trust greed.

"This is Mexicali. We don't want no U.S. criminals."

"Look man, I just want to lock him up for the night and while I talk to the warden about this job he's hiring for. Can I get an appointment with the guy?" Ray tried not to let his voice quaver. He could handle the man holding the gun in front of him. It was the guy behind that made him want to turn and look every two seconds. Danny squirmed again and he twisted his elbow the way Wolf had taught him to do this morning. "Knock it off asshole or I'll let these guys do you in for good. You deserve it for what you did." He cringed inside hearing the words come out of his mouth.

"You say you got credentials?" One of the prison guards went into the guard shack and picked up a phone. "Who shall we say is calling on the warden? He know you're coming?"

"Diaz, Raymón Diaz. St. Louis P.D. And no, this is unplanned."

The man on the phone hung up and came out. "Alright. Go in and wait. We'll lock one gate behind you and then the second will open. The guard on that side's name is Harris. He'll take you up to see Collins." Ray shoved Danny forward and they followed the man's directions. Ray really hoped that the stagnant humidity was the reason Danny was sweating through his shirt and not misgivings about the plan.

Warden Collins met them at the doors to the main building. He was a tall thin man with deep wrinkles in his long face and gangly arms. Behind his spectacles his eyes were red and watery. "Officer Diaz?" The last time he'd heard someone say that name he'd been a twelve year old boy, standing numb beside his mother in a borrowed suit. Looking at the gaping doors of the deteriorating building he was suddenly transported back to the dark fear and despair he'd had on that day. And just like then, there was no place to go but forward.

Ray stuck out his hand. "Sorry to barge in on you Sir. I was headed here to apply for your open job when I stumbled across this mama guevo on my way over here. He's wanted back in St. Louis so I picked him up to haul him back to own up for his crimes."

The warden directed him toward an office with large windows over looking the prison yard. Dozens of men congregated in crumbling basketball courts and around collections of picnic tables. The missile battery was plainly visible in the center of the space. Two men waited just inside the door. "Please, allow my men to escort your prisoner to my finest holding cell while we get acquainted." The warden offered Ray a wide smile stained by years of chewing tobacco as he indicated a chair. Danny and Tex had warned him that this might happen so despite the fact that he didn't want to be left alone without Danny, he pasted on his most relieved smile and responded, "Of course. Just don't lose him. I stand to gain big time if I bring him in for trial."

The guards added cuffs to the zipties Ray had already put on him. "We won't be long gentlemen." The warden directed. "The number one interrogation room will do fine." As soon as they hauled him out of the room the warden turned back to Ray. "So, the St. Louis PD is paying its officers bounties, are they?" Wow, Ray couldn't believe how right Tex had been when he'd said greed won every time. The warden was already leaning over the desk, eager for info.

They had rehearsed this so all he had to do was give the story with few a embellishments. "No actually. This guy's a federal criminal." He dug in his pocket for the fake wanted sign Danny and Tex had concocted. "See here? There's a 100K reward to bring that guy in dead or alive.

"100K, what did the guy do?"

Ray sighed. "Scumbag shot a man over a can of beans. Which is bad enough on its own." He leaned forward. "But between you and me, the man he shot was a naval officer. This guy is a pretty sophisticated operator." If all was going to plan, Danny would be demonstrating that by slipping the cuffs by now.

The warden sat back and steepled his fingers in front of his gray beard. "If you can make that kind of dough up there, why do you want a job here?"

"I need to get my family out of St. Louis. If things get bad between the MCF and the US, do you think they are going to want a guy who looks and sounds like me around?" He hoped his impression of his Tio Cedro's accent was as convincing as it sounded to his own ears. "Plus, it was pretty much luck that I managed to bring him down."

"You don't look like much." The warden observed dryly. "But you must be good if you brought down a guy like that. I've gotten several qualified applicants already. But I'm going to have to wait for you to travel north, gather your family, and come back again." Steely gray eyes pinned Ray to the ratty chair. " 100K is a nice reward. How much are you willing to share for my patience?"

Tex had insisted, when in doubt, go with greed. "It depends. 10K to stay here and be on my way in the morning. 15K if you can provide someplace private for the night so I can exercise my anger on him before I have to hand him over."

The warden laughed. "This is Louisiana in the new Mexicali Federation son. For 10K I can make it look like a prisoner shanked him and your hands will be totally clean." Fuck! That wasn't what Ray needed. He just needed to make sure they weren't under the eyes of the guards all night.

He switched gears, bringing up the backstory Tex and Wolf had worked out. "That's kind of you to offer, but I want to have my cake and eat it too. I need to bring him in alive so the widow can see him fry. For me, it's personal."

"You knew the guy he killed?"

"He was my oldest brother. He and I were the only two of eight kids still living after the Red Flu." Ray did exactly as Tex had instructed and hung his head, pinching the bridge of his nose like he was fighting off tears. "Left my sister-in-law high and dry with their 4th child on the way." He slid his phone across the desk showing a photo of Kara sitting on the courthouse steps, one hand resting protectively on her baby bump. They had combed his gallery last night for the most convincing and settled on one that had Gabe, Rena, and Luna in it. Unfortunately Kat was in the picture as well.

The warden studied the picture and gave a low whistle. "Good looking wife! Who's the girl?" He pointed at Kat whose freckles and lighter hair stood out from the group. Tex wanted him to say she as Gabe's girlfriend but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"My girlfriend Kathleen. She's been helping as much as she can with my nieces and nephew but we've got our own." He flicked the screen to show a picture of Kat holding the Simpson-Slattery twins the day after they were born. It was pretty convincing given she was still wearing the scrubs from Ethan's recovery room. "That's why I really need this job to work out."

The warden nodded and tapped his fingers on his desk. "What's their names?" Ray wasn't sure what he'd do if the guy denied his request but he had the distinct feeling he was being tested so he did his best to remain outwardly confident. "Vera and Jayne." He pointed at the screen hoping he sounded convincing. "That's Vera in the purple cap. She's older. And Jayne is the wrinkly one." He smiled politely and waited, fighting the urge to squirm under the older man's gaze while he recalled what Tex had said about keeping his cool.

"Wow! That's a big household to support. I feel for you son. I've got three myself and it's a challenge sometimes." Ray bit his lip to keep from mentioning that he actually had a household of 15, if you counted himself. "But, I think we can make a deal." The warden's gaze turned hawkish. "Make it 12.5K and I will get you a good night's rest and a solitary for your friend. Plus, I'll throw in an few hours in my quiet room." He put air quotes around the words "quiet room" and Ray had a sickening feeling he knew what the warden was getting at.

"You mean?"

"I mean you can beat that guy ten ways to sundown, heck if you change your mind about the frying you can beat him to death. The widows almost never look when they flip the switch anyway." Ray blanched.

"I don't know. That seems risky."

"It would be mighty cathartic." The older man's sing song response reminded Ray of a school yard bully trying to get a new goon to join his gang.

Go with the flow. The reminder of Tex's advice prompted him to shrug nonchalantly. "Well, I'll just see how it goes."

The warden's laughter boomed out down the halls. "Harris!" The guard appeared at the doorway. "Take Officer Diaz on a tour. You know Raymón, a resourceful man like you could make a good living for his family down here. I think if you decide to stay, we'd love to have you. Might as well check the place out while you're here. You won't find many cities that have survived the Red Flu as well as we have. Harris, bring him to my dining room for dinner. Give his prisoner the bread and water routine. We'll want him ready in the quiet room at 8 sharp so we can document him sleeping peacefully at lights out." The warden snorted at his own joke.


	32. Chapter 32 - Tu Boca

**Tu Boca, Ely Guerra**

The knock on her door at 5:45 AM felt far earlier than usual but Kat forced herself to sit up before she fell back asleep. Her stomach churned a little with the lack of sleep but once she had the minty flavor of toothpaste in her mouth it settled and her brain fog cleared. She only had herself to blame for not getting enough sleep last night. She'd been the one to type up Granderson's report about the incident in Mobile when it came in a few days ago. Her name had been left out of it, but given who was involved, there was no doubt in her mind that Ray knew something about what happened with Rob by now. She'd told herself that worrying over what Ray must think would only drive her crazy, but she hadn't been able to stop. Eventually she'd come to the conclusion that as soon as he got back she'd have to break it off.

She fumbled around at the edge of the bed searching for the sneakers that had gone astray. Now that Bertrise had left on the Nathan James hoping to bring the cure to Jamaica on the way to the Panama canal, she had thought maybe she'd stop doing PT. But with both Lieutenants Green and Burk out of town, Emma's stepfather had taken over the morning sessions and the other girl had begged her to come so that she'd have an excuse not to pair up with Christine.

She threw on her usual PT outfit, sweats and a tank top followed by a hoodie, and pulled her hair up into a swinging pony tail. The weather was slowly inching toward spring so she figured she could get away without her hat and gloves. There was a second knock at the door. That would be Brie, who like Kat, was not quite as enthusiastic about early mornings as Emma. "Coming!" She checked the charge on the taser Kara had set her up with and dropped it into a small rucksack, along with two bricks, her keys, wallet, and a pair of headphones.

She swung the door wide and found both girls waiting for her wearing matching rucksacks. "Good morning grumpy pants." Emma shoved a bottle of water and some kind of protein bar into her hand.

"I don't know how you manage to be so perky this early." Brie muttered around a mouthful of a similar bar.

Emma just smirked. "Come on ladies, I promised Velasquez I'd get some Navy people out there to show enthusiasm for this joint forces thing. You can't make me look bad."

The PT group had shrunk significantly since so many of the Nathan James crew and recruits were on the ships but there were still thirty or so people in the square. Emma bounced over to say good morning to Velasquez and her mother while Kat and Brie chatted about the kids and stretched to warm up. After a few minutes they were divided into groups and sent out for the march.

An hour later Kat felt sweat trickling down her back. It figured that the first day they try this would be the warmest day of the year so far. She swiped damp hair back into her bun with a sign.

"I'm not sure I can make 12 kilometers. This might be the thing that sets my course toward Navy over Army." Brie said as she glanced at her phone. "I told Debbie that I might wimp out and she promised that as long as I stay with someone so I'm not alone, I could stop and have her come pick me up."

Emma shook her perfectly arranged blond curls. "You are going to make this if Kat and I have to carry you because we are a threesome and if one of use refuses to stop, we all have to keep going." Brie rolled her eyes but she didn't argue. They had just passed a group resting at the four mile mark. Kat had to admit, the sight of them sitting down passing around water and snacks had been tempting. But she fully intended to finish this thing, no matter how long it took. She might not have plans to become a badass agent or anything, but she didn't want anyone to think she couldn't hack it if she wanted to. "I for one am going to make this. Come on, when everyone gets back from the boatyards down south full of adventures we'll have our own achievements to tell them about."

Emma poked her shoulder. "When everyone gets back or when Ray gets back?" She darted out of the way before Kat could poke her back.

Brie dropped her hands from where she'd been holding each of her braids, tugging them like marionette strings as she walked. "Wait, what? Kat and Ray? Since when? They hate each other's guts."

"Since forever." Emma pursed her lips and blew squeaky kisses in Kat's direction.

Kat sighed, she supposed it would have become obvious to everyone eventually but if she broke it off when he got back they could avoid the ugly taking of sides and the kids feelings wouldn't get involved. "No, we're not going to be a thing so don't go spreading rumors Em."

"Too late. You're already a thing. And you really like him, don't you?"

Brie suddenly had an added spring to her step. "Oh my God Kat, do you know what this means? You can come to Kansas with us and we'll for sure be able to stay together!"

If she could, she would kick Emma right now. She hadn't been spreading the news for a reason. "Nothing has changed about that. I can't go to Kansas with you Brie. I just got to know my dad again so I will stay with him, at least until I decide what I'm going to do with my life."

Emma repeated her question but this time her tone was a little more strident. "Yeah, like you really do like him right? Because if you're just leading him on that would not be cool." Brie added. Kat bit back a smile at the idea of the kids protecting Ray instead of the other way around. He'd be tickled to hear about it if he ever had enough phone service to do more than text a quick "Missing you again tonight." message.

"I do." She sighed and shifted her heavy pack. "But it's complicated. I mean there's all of you guys to consider and Ray really wants to get a good job with the crew and I have to figure out what I'm doing with my life and…" She caught her breath for a moment. "Right now I'm just not sure if the best thing to do isn't to break it off as soon as he gets back, before he gets hurt or you guys get the wrong idea."

Emma and Brie gasped. "No!" Brie protested. "That's crazy! What is it you don't like? With the fourteen of us I am sure we can fix him so you want to stay."

Kat shook her head. "It doesn't work that way. Besides, As weird as it feels to say it, especially after how much I disliked him at first, I like him just that way he is. It's more about circumstance. He deserves someone more… I don't know, not me."

Emma snorted. "That's ridiculous. Either the spark is there or it isn't. Take Riley and Garth for example. They barely had one conversation and the next second they are willing to trust each other with their lives. And you, you fairly glow when you talk about Ray. You've got it bad girl." She hadn't thought it was all that obvious.

Brie chimed in. "Yeah, me and the twins were talking just the other day about how awesome it would be if you guys got together. It would be epic! Please say you won't wimp out." She didn't reply at first because what could she say to that? She wanted it to work out too but she couldn't see a future where being with her wasn't a negative for him. No, she had to break it off, before it got too serious.

Emma broke into her musings. "It just seems complicated because he's not here. When you see him again and all your juices get fired up, it won't seem complicated at all." That was just it. It would be far better to make a clean break now when they both had some breathing space. Would it be fair to get the kids hopes up and then crush them if it didn't work out? Or worse, get her hopes up?

"Oh yeah Emma?" Brie waggled her brows at the other girl. "When the rest of them get back is it going to be easy for you? Will you finally be able to choose."

"Noooo, don't make me think about that." Emma hung her head and continued plodding along.

Kat mouthed at Brie "Choose?"

"Which guy, Lee or Colin." Emma answered for Brie. "They are both so…Mmmmmmm..you know?"

"Ohhhhh" Kat didn't think either of them was even on Emma's radar. "How so?"

"Well, you know Colin likes me."

Brie giggled. "Everyone knows Colin likes you, even your father knows that."

"Yes, unfortunately, and Colin is nice but…"

"He can be an ass?" Kat supplied.

"He spends too much time on his hair?" Brie suggested.

"No" Emma giggled with them anyways. "It's just that someone else keeps coming to mind when I..ah.. you know." Her cheeks pinkened. "That can't be a good sign right? I can't start dating one guy if I'm mentally getting it on with another, right?"

"You think about Lee when you're jerking off?" Brie asked. "Yeah, that's a bad sign. I always know if I'm into a guy when he shows up in my fantasies."

"That's just it, I keep telling myself to think about Colin and only Colin but when I get close, there is Lee again."

"Well there you go, that's your answer right there. You want to get it on with Lee." Kat breathed a sigh of relief. Lee was a good guy and he was responsible and thoughtful. He and Emma would make a good pair. "You haven't led either of them on."

"You need a celebrity crush instead. Right Kat?" Brie covered her mouth as if there was someone around to hear. "Jake T. Austen and I have been carrying on a very passionate affair for years." She laughed. "Who's your crush Kat?"

She opened her mouth and then closed it. "I don't exactly have one."

"Liar! Before Lee started showing up I had Harry Styles and Dylan Sprouse to keep me company. Everyone has someone."

"No, it's too embarrassing."

"More embarrassing than Ross Lynch?" Brie giggled. "He's my back up slash threesome guy."

"No way!" Emma squealed. "Ross Lynch and Jake T. Austen are never getting in a threesome together."

"Well there's always Deuce and Mason for backup-backup." Brie shrugged. "I'm too young to lock myself in on one celebrity crush."

"You're practically a Disney Channel orgy!" Emma snorted. "Come on spill the beans Kat."

She sighed. The girls she'd known before weren't that forthright about these kinds of things. They talked about crushes and the bases and sex but no one ever gave details! "I just go it solo."

Emma stopped in front of her. "Well then you've got some homework sailor girl. Tonight I assign you the task of finding your celebrity crush. You could probably use the practice anyway. I doubt Ray is the moving slow kind of guy."

She doubted it too but she'd never exactly thought of feeling herself up as practice for the real deal. "Don't be silly. I don't need practice. Besides, like I said, I don't think it's going to go that far. We're just friends that like kissing so far."

"Yeah right." Emma was fussing in her pack for a water bottle but she looked up. "You are on the fast track to bumping uglies and you know it. We have the afternoon off. I can help Brie with the kids. Maybe you should draw yourself a bath, get comfortable, invite Luke Benward over, and figure out how you want it all to go down."

Kat rolled her eyes. "Thor? Really? Emma Slattery, you are incorrigible! Besides, blonds aren't my type."

The afternoon off was a nice treat and she indulged in several hours at the library, alternating between writing the text for the next comic Ray had planned and reading the trashiest romance novel Mrs. Benson, the librarian, could find. She ended up checking it out figuring that Riley Simpson-Slattery might appreciate it. With 3/4 of the people gone the dinning room had an abandoned hush to it so she found herself in her room at 8 PM with nothing to do.

She checked her phone but was unsurprised to find no new messages of any communication form. By now, the Rio Grande would be moving into position up the Atchafalaya to fire on Red River Landing if there was any sign that the batteries the MCF had placed there were going to be used against the Nathan James. She had a sneaking suspicion that half the reason Kara had not let her in on the entire plan was because her father was probably involved in that operation. She was glad that at least Ray would be safe on the Yukon somewhere in Lake Borgne where they were able to provide cover far out of the MCF's range.

She flipped to a photo from the day he took her to the horse barn and wished he'd call anyway. It was stupid how much she missed him given that by five minutes into a call he would invariably say something totally idiotic and she'd have to chastise him for it. She rolled onto her side and tried to close her eyes but she couldn't relax. Right now half the people she knew could be going up in flames. There were so many ways this thing could go wrong. Unbidden, she began to imagine what it must be like on the ships tonight.

The MCF could have the capability to fire on them from somewhere they didn't know about and the crippled Nathan James wouldn't be able to fire back. On the bridge, Commander Slattery was no doubt cracking jokes to ease peoples' tension. Sometimes Emma was so much like him it made her wonder if people saw much of Tex in her. Most of the time she felt like she must have been adopted.

She tossed and turned, struggling to find a comfortable spot. The lights on the bridge were probably red to improve the crew's ability to see in the dark. Men and women would be posted on the decks to study the bluffs. Each would be praying that there wasn't an accurate rifleman waiting for them. The Yukon shouldn't have as much of a worry about that but running aground was a real hazard in the shallow water of the lake. Lieutenant Granderson probably had them moving as slowly as possible. She'd be routing communication to the bridge so that Kara and Chandler could relay important information as quickly as possible. Fortunately, Ray would likely be deep below the decks logging weapons in and out of the armory. She bet anything he'd be grumpy that his assignment gave him no potential to play hero. Then again, if they did run aground, the decks below the water line would be the first to flood.

Kara had insisted that Kat couldn't be in the office during the operation, no matter how many times she'd insisted she could help, but she knew she wasn't going to be able to sleep with her nerves wound so tight. On the Rio Grande things would be more tense than the Yukon since the land teams depended on them. O'Connor would probably be posted on watch and Miller would be suited up and waiting in a rhib in case Burk needed to retrieve the team from shore. Those swamps would be very dark and the potential for an ambush was high,and that wasn't even thinking about the gators and snakes, and who knew what else could get in the rhib. If anyone was going to get bit, she hoped it was Rob.

And then there was Green's team. She knew her dad was probably with him and that they were supposed to disable the weapon in the the prison but she hadn't been privy to the details. Some spy she was shaping up to be. For all she knew Tex was rotting in a cell somewhere already. It wouldn't be the first time after all.

No, there was no way she was getting any sleep until Val or Kara took pity on her and relayed a message that the Nathan James had made it safely to open water. Until then, it would be another wide eyed night, just like the one before.

Sometime around one AM she crept to the window and open the blinds. Most of St. Louis was dark but the lights of the courthouse flooded the lawn 8 floors beneath her window. She leaned against the glass and closed her eyes letting the chilled surface cool her over excited flesh. Her dad, Colin, Granderson, Dylan, Green, Miller, Emma's dad, and of course Ray were all out there somewhere. If something happened and she had to go on without them, what would she do?

She needed to sleep. If something happened and she had to tell the kids that Ray wasn't coming back, she'd have to be able to keep it together. She eyed the twisted sheets of the bed. Getting back in there was futile. The bathroom door was open and the white surface of the large tub was the only item visible in the dark. Maybe a warm bath would help.

She sat in the tub and let the rising water level gradually lift her limbs until she was floating, her ears underwater blocking out everything. The hot water gushing from the faucet almost scalded her toes but it was worth it for the way her muscles were practically unable to hold onto their tension as they soaked. She closed her eyes and focused on maintaining her position at the surface as she breathed slowly and deeply and let the tension flow out of her toes and fingertips the way she learned in a sweat lodge retreat she took with her mother once. No matter what, she had to keep it together.

Eventually her she became aware of the colder air of the bathroom as her nipples puckered against the cold and she finally gave up floating to sit cross legged with just her head and shoulders out of the water. There were definite perks to being petite, she thought. She let her mind wander, willing it to dwell on anything but the operation underway. There was nothing she could do to affect the outcome, she reminded herself, so she'd best just take care of herself. Unbidden, the things Brie and Emma had said came to mind and she smiled. She always slept good after a nice hard orgasm.

She lay back, shivering when the cold fiberglass wall at the edge of the tub met her bare back. Hooking her neck over the lip allowed her to let her legs float freely and she lazily bent at the knees to open her body farther. She found the bar of soap on the ledge and slowly worked it into a lather. As she tumbled it in her hands she closed her eyes and tried to come up with a good celebrity crush. The last movie she had seen before the Red Flu struck was Divergent. But her date had spent the entire time talking about where they could go after and totally ruined it for her. She couldn't think of any TV shows she had been watching either. She slipped a soapy hand along the skin of her belly, softly spreading the bubbles and getting used to her own touch. Deep inside a welcome tension sprung to life.

Had she ever had a crush like the kind Emma and Brie were talking about? She ran her soapy fingers over her nipples, letting the evaporation of the bubbles tease her. She knew what it felt like, when your heart throbbed every time the object of your crush came up in conversation or the way they stole all your attention if they were in the room. The last few weeks before he left it had been that way with Ray. She had gone from task to task each day on edge wondering when they would be together again. She bent her knees farther, enjoying the way the water sloshed in to fill the void and tickle her senses. She drew in a deep breath, but before Ray, when had she last had that feeling?

She supposed having a dad forget about her existence for three years had sort of killed the romanticism of crushes for her. The last time she'd gotten that floaty feeling in the pit of her stomach at the sight of someone had been before he left. She remembered now, that guy that always wore the headphones. Apparently she was being honest when she said she didn't go for blonds. She closed her eyes and brought up the image as she slid her fingers into her waiting flesh. The water had washed away some of her natural slickness but the rub of her fingers on her already swollen lips sent a shock up her spine nonetheless.

She breathed slowly and focused on the character in her mind. If she had him there in the room with her, what would she want to do? She hooked one leg over the edge of the tub for a better angle. Between the fact that she knew herself well and the fact that it had been a long few weeks since her last release, this wasn't going to take long. She had a hard time advancing headphone guy's face to her own age. Instead, she kept coming up with Ray's and she instinctively shied away from setting a dangerous precedent. Except that her traitorous nerves did not. She imagined him smiling at her and her pulse beat faster. She thought about his lips on hers and she felt the need to grasp a nipple in her fingers drawing a sigh of satisfaction from herself. The way the sound echoed in the small bathroom made her blush but she was into it enough now that she wouldn't give up. She could practically taste coffee just at the thought of locking lips again. She recalled the way his hands felt when he held her by the waist and pulled her in tight so he could bend her back and kiss the skin under her jaw and she had to bend now as well, which made it easier to swirl a finger over her aching clit.

Her brain was going places she did not want it to go. After all, they had just barely crossed to second base before Ray left but her mind was trying to steal third. What would it be like to feel his mouth on her breasts? The delicious coil in her was getting tighter, and more bossy. More, it demanded, more! She slid a finger deep inside herself followed quickly by a second. The pressure hit exactly where she needed it and for a few long moments she just breathed in the sensation. Would it be like this? Would she feel like she needed to be touched everywhere and only one place both at the same time? She let her thumb flick her clit and was rewarded with a jolt of pleasure. Would it be the same with someone else? She began to slowly slide her fingers back and forth and with each shuddering withdrawal let her thumb graze her clit for an extra jolt.

This was ridiculous right? She really ought to cut it out with the fantasizing. She knew better than to get her hopes up. But the barrage on her senses had become an addiction. With her free hand she kneaded one breast as she continued to work her other hand in and out. God, how awesome would it be to feel him moving in her instead? She knew she should get a control on her thoughts but once the idea was out there she could not let it go and she knew that if Ray were to magically return right then she would throw herself at him. Because if she was going to be honest with herself, she had been trying not to get her hopes up for several weeks now and she had failed.

Her motions became more frantic and the need built until she couldn't hold back her crazy impulses any longer. She already knew the feel of his skin and the taste of his lips, it wasn't a big leap to imagine more. The duel sensation of pulsing around her fingers and pressing back against the muscles further excited her. The exquisite sensations reached their peak and her spring was sprung. Gasping, she jerked against her own hand, sloshing water everywhere, frozen in the knowledge that there was no way she would break it off if there was a chance of such glorious pleasure in her future.

She might have dozed a little because it seemed that suddenly she was cold and covered in goosebumps. She sat up, slicking her tangled hair off her forehead and letting it drain back to the tub with a rush of noise as her ears cleared. She moved slowly, her pulse echoing in her ears as her heart struggled to pump honey thick blood out to her exhausted limbs. The warm water, 12K march, and sleepless night before had finally caught up with her. She didn't think about the ships or the kids or even her dad as she slipped into a bathrobe and fell into bed. The tub still gurgled its way to empty as she smiled into her pillow and thought about Ray's homecoming. She needed some sleep now, but once she was caught up, then it couldn't happen too soon.


	33. Chapter 33 - Sola

I meant to have this whole segment posted long before the season started but sometimes life just intervenes. There's only five more chapters after this one. I'm a little freaked out that the season premiere tonight will somehow make those remaining chapters totally useless but I am totally shipping Kat and Ray until the end…well except for what I do to them in parts six and seven. Can't wait to watch those new episodes in a few minutes!

**Sola, Hector El Father**

Danny had been taken to a room and chained to the floor hours ago. The guards had been pretty rough with him as they did it, but nothing was seriously hurt. Still, he worried for the kid. Being chained to the floor hadn't been the plan and he didn't like being completely cut off, without any information to even begin making a new plan. By his rough estimate it was nearing night time. He needed Ray to let him out so he could disable the missile battery before morning. The Nathan James would be ready to come downstream around noon and they needed to be completely away from this place before the sabotage was discovered. When he finally heard the key in the lock he crouched with his hand near the hilt of the knife still in his boot. Without knowing who was coming through the door he didn't want to give away the fact that he'd unchained himself hours ago.

He ducked his head and bitched when he saw it was Ray. "You again? I told you, I'm not going to apologize. Your brother was an asshole and I have no guilt." Ray smacked him on the right side. Good, that meant everything was ok so far.

"Harris. I'm going to need some private time with my brother's killer." Ray lifted a bag that jangled ominously. "Can you come back around midnight?" Ray cocked a brow at the mousy guard by the door.

"Yes Sir. See you then Raymón." The door shut behind them with a click and Danny heard the echo of locks out in the hall. That meant sound would carry so they'd better be careful. Ray opened his mouth to begin saying something but he shook him off, making a slow circle motion with his finger.

Thankfully, Ray understood what he meant and began circling the perimeter of the room, giving Danny an update on what had happened and what he'd learned in the form of a taunting monologue. So far it sounded like things were going well. He had the tools they needed and Ray had even managed to get a tour of the facility which should help when it was time to sneak around. He had already inspected the room for cameras and microphones and he believed it really was as private as the warden had promised Ray. But he'd bet that guard was still outside the door and he didn't want anything to tip him off.

"You can't beat me. I tell you I know my rights. Even in a prison a man has rights!" He raised his voice and clinked the leg chains a bit while Ray laid out the tools he'd gathered. Danny rolled his finger to indicate Ray should keep it up. Ray punched one hand with the other to make a slapping sound but it was pretty weak. "Come on, you've got to be more convincing than that. Surely there is someone you are really pissed at. Imagine I'm that guy and really go at it." He whispered.

The kid looked up sharply, his face hardening. With a sigh he stripped off his belt. "You hurt my brother so I've decided to do to you what my Papa did to me when I hurt my brother." Ray mouthed a sorry and Danny began to wonder if he really would whip him with the belt. "Now stand against the wall."

He mouthed "It's ok." Before he cracked the belt against Danny's shoe.

"Fuck you man." Danny spat back with shock as it hurt like a son of a bitch. But with his boots he wouldn't really be injured. Ray cracked the belt against the wall a few more times and Danny cried out. "Stop! Don't hit me again!"

Ray slapped the belt on the floor. "I don't feel like stopping until I'm face to face with my brother again!" Impressed with the kid's ability to think on his feet, Danny played along and let loose a string of curses. He heard the guard cackle somewhere down the hall, whistling as he went. He'd guess the sadistic bastard just wanted to see if Ray had it in him. Danny continued to make a show of complaining, just in case. A door slammed at the end of the hall and Danny surmised they were alone. "Good thinking kid. Did your dad really beat you?"

Ray shook his head and whispered, "No way! But one time my mother sent him to discipline me for getting a fight at school. He took me in the back room and told me to scream and make a fuss while he walloped the bed. My mother was white as a sheet when we came out. I wouldn't recommend you try it with your kid though. Your wife is liable to actually shoot you for it."

Danny bit back a laugh. "OK, so do you think you can get me to the missile battery from here?"

"Yeah, all the buildings open into the central courtyard and as far as I can tell there is only one guy standing guard in the central section. The rest are focused on the walls and the prisoners. I'm pretty sure that we can get in that area unnoticed.

And then leaned in close. "You're doing good. Just remember, if anything goes south you walk out of here like you had nothing to do with it. Blend in with a crowd and disappear." He needed the kid to understand that just because things had gone well so far it didn't mean they would continue that way.

"Not gonna happen." Ray cracked the belt with confidence and waited while Danny faked a moan of pain. "Because I am going to follow the plan. Believe me, this place gives me the creeps!" They went over the plan one last time and then a few minutes before the guard came back, Danny laid down on the floor again. This time he had the tools he needed in his chest pocket.

The door swung open and the warden stuck his head in. "Raymón! Did you enjoy the treat after all?" Danny could see why the guy creeped Ray out. He had the instant sense that he was the most cold blooded killer of anyone in the place.

"You know Sir, you were right. It was very enjoyable." Ray made a show of wiping off his belt before restringing it through his jeans. "I might have taken it too far, but we'll leave it to the morning to make the final determination. I've decided that if he looks like he won't make it, maybe I'll take you up on your offer to take him out to your hunting camp in the bayou." He put air quotes around the words "hunting camp."

Despite himself, Danny shivered. The kid was pretty convincing.

Two hours later he heard a quiet scratching at the door. It was already unlocked, he'd just been waiting for Ray's signal. Ray slipped in and tossed him a uniform. Once he was dressed he silently followed him to the door. It was surprisingly easy to get out of the building into the yard. After closing the door it became obvious why the buildings were painted white. Dark colors and shadows showed against them, even in a night with no moon. Ray patted his shoulder where he had a pack of cigarettes rolled into his sleeve and they separated near a jumble of picnic tables.

Danny crept toward the chain link block encircling the missile battery in the middle of the courtyard. It was the model they had expected, which was good. He didn't know enough to disarm these things without advance preparation. He waited until he heard Ray engage the guard. "Hey it's Ray, we met earlier. I'm here interviewing for a job? Want to give me the scoop on this place while I have a smoke? I'm still a little confused on why the prison is even still operating. What's the deal here?" The kid did a good job charming the guard. And to be honest the guard was pretty lax. A few words from Ray and he was telling the entire story of how this place survived the Red Flu and what they were doing.

Pretty soon Danny was wedged under the trailer feeling around in the dark for the small panel he knew housed the satellite uplink that allowed the battery to be controlled remotely. His fingers finally traced the rounded top and square panel of the hatch he needed. He carefully slid the screwdriver in place and began the painstaking task of opening the small panel. It felt like it took forever to slowly back out each screw. All the while he had to listen to Ray's inane chatter about what neighborhoods the people here lived in and did they get fresh milk because he really missed fresh milk.

Once he had the panel open he slipped on a rubber insulating glove as quietly as he could. Val had stressed about 20 times the need for the glove so that he didn't zap himself on a capacitor while feeling around in the dark. Val had described what he was feeling for as something like a sim card but in the dark and without a flashlight he had a hard time locating it. He carefully touched various components of the motherboard with his now clumsy fingers, half expecting a painful jolt of electricity. Instead an insect stole his focus by biting bit his ankle. After a few minutes he was pretty sure of two things. He'd found the little card he was supposed to replace and he was quite possibly lying near an ant nest. There had been several painful bites now. Add to that the persistent burning he was feeling all the way up to his left knee and his concentration was shot. He closed his eyes and breathed deep, using mental imagery to will away the fire that was now burning his thigh. God he fucking hated insects! Once he found the little card he prepared to remove it. He had 30 seconds to get the new one in place when he pulled the old one so he carefully reached in his hip pocket and got out the case containing it, opened it, and held the card in his teeth. It was only a moment later that he forgot himself and slapped at the burning pain in the vicinity of his ear.

"Did you hear something?" The guard asked Ray.

There was a scuff of pavement and Danny froze. "Oh sorry, that was me. I went a little overboard on the beans at dinner." Ray coughed. "It's one of the reasons I really needed to get outside and take some air."

Danny tried the deep breathing thing again but he couldn't ignore the flaming pain anymore. He fumbled to get the card out and then jammed the new one in it's place. If all went well, the new one would immediately start sending out a false signal that would make the MCF's firing command think they had control of the missiles when they did not.

"Do you guys eat a lot of beans here? Because I am kind of sick of them now." Ray was starting to sound desperate for things to talk about and Danny needed to get away from the ants or he would be screaming soon. He reattached the power connection, or what he hoped was the power connection, and used only two screws to close the cover on the hatch he had been working with. As silently as he could, he slid back out from under the trailer and made his way back toward the door they had come out of. As he moved, he suddenly received more ant bites and it took every fiber of his being not to start slapping his leg and God damnit, his balls. Ants were biting his fucking balls! He gave up and ran for the door.

Suddenly all hell broke loose. The tower lights converged on Ray, the other guard, and the trailer. Danny flattened himself against the wall. He had no idea what had tipped them off but his heart was pounding. If they swept the buildings he'd be spotted. He looked for someplace to hide but the only thing around was a picnic table. He dove under it and wedged himself in the cross piece so the ground would be clear. "Dude? What's that all about?" He heard Ray asking the guard.

"Come on and see." The guard led Ray in a circle around the trailer as he shined his flashlight on the control panel and other parts. "This is why we're really here. If you join us, you'll become part of the army that's going to make the MCF the greatest country this land has ever seen."

Ray played along. "Really? What is that?"

"This is what's going to end Michener's public support." The guard slapped a metal missile casing. "First off, we're going to make a fool of him and the Navy when they try to come downstream and then.." He held up a thumbs up and the lights from the tower swung back to their previous pattern. "…once everyone sees that his mamby-pamby Navy has nothing on the violent criminals in this place they will be begging to join the MCF. Stick around tomorrow and see us train. It's pretty amazing what these guys will do for the right incentive."

"The right incentive?"

"Guys in here will do just about anything to get their food and daily dose of the vaccine."

"But the vaccine doesn't require daily dosing." Danny cringed when he heard Ray say it. What if the guard was just as brainwashed as the prisoners?

"You know that, and I know that, but the prisoners get very limited information. They think they are taking an older version of the vaccine and it will wear off if they stop. Most of them are so desperate to get out of here that they will believe almost anything for the chance to make something of themselves." Danny had to admit, it was as good a tactic as any for controlling a group of people who otherwise would resist discipline and order. His arms were beginning to shake from holding himself in place and there were still a few ants wandering his clothes. They'd accomplished their goal and just needed to lay low until it was time to go. Come on Ray! Any more questions were likely to make the guy suspicious. The sooner he was inside the sooner he could strip and kill every last one of the demon insects. He watched the light pattern from the towers but it was back to the one they had started with. Ray was trying to say goodnight now. Come on kid! Finally he was striding over, opening the door, and holding it just a fraction so that as soon as the light passed, Danny could move.

He slipped inside and followed Ray back through the maze of hallways to the room they had been keeping him in. As soon as the door was shut he got to work on the ants.

"So did you get it done?" Ray asked.

"I think so? It was a little hairy at the end." Danny stripped off his socks and was dismayed to see large welts all over his left foot and ankle.

"I nearly had a heart attack when the lights changed pattern." Ray admitted. How did you know to get out of there?"

"I didn't. That was dumb luck plain and simple. I apparently made friends with an ant hill and the one in my shorts was the last straw." He turned his back and pulled his shirt over his head. "Here, as I take these off, check them for ants and kill any ones you find." They worked on his clothing for a few minutes until he was satisfied he had them all. The stings had stopped itching quite as bad as he lay his bare legs against the cold concrete floor, but he knew that now he'd have to endure two weeks of itching and pain every time he touched one of the angry red bumps that were already raising up on his skin. "You better get back to wherever so you don't raise suspicion. You can fill me in on what you learned tomorrow."

Ray slipped out leaving him in the isolation room. He shivered against the cold. Whatever was going on here, it was decidedly not good. Hopefully the guys inside here wouldn't pay the price for the fact that he'd just foiled the lynchpin in the MCF's plan.


	34. Sharpen 34 - A Woman Can Take It

**A Woman Can Take It, And She Can Dish It Out, Barbara Carr**

Danny raised his beer and took a look around the crowd in the hotel bar, his gaze stopping on Ray. "And then we walked out, met up with Wolf and Tex, and headed home on the Yukon. I almost can't believe they fell for it."

Despite being just barely lunchtime they had drawn quite a crowd and Ray blushed a little under the attention. All he had done was follow directions like a school kid but people kept coming up and shaking his hand and saying crazy nice things. Really, it was just his job; there was no need to make a fuss over it. "I can't believe you had the balls man." Colin slapped his shoulder. "I would have freaked out the minute that gate shut behind me." Sitting on the other side of her father, Kat was nodding in agreement. She'd shown up about fifteen minutes after they got back. Ray wondered how soon they could leave, or at least sneak into the coat closet, without being rude. She looked fine, happy even, but he'd like to hear her say so herself. And he'd like to do a few other things, definitely in private.

"Believe it. Ray here is one cool cucumber." Danny admitted, "He kept it together so well that weird warden took a real shine to him. He gifted Ray with the opportunity to beat the crap out of me, volunteered to make it look like he had to kill me as I tried to escape, and offered him a job. The pay was pretty good too so I guess I should be glad he didn't decide to take it."

Ray cleared his throat, alarmed that Green would even think he could do something like that. "Just thinking about that guy gives me the willies. I keep thinking he's going to show up here and want payback."

Tex shook his head. "I wouldn't worry too much about him. Sometimes when people are that deep into crime, they assume they are the baddest baddies around and they are blind to other people pulling the same shit on them. And besides, if he does, we got your back kid."

There was a commotion in the doorway and he looked up to see Ethan, Luna, and Sadie pushing through from the elevator lobby. Behind them, Debbie Foster smiled warmly. "As soon as we heard you were back we came right down. The rest will be on the next car."

"You're back!" Luna practically leapt into his arms and the rest of the trio crowded around. She flattened her warm little body against him in a death grip.

"Look, Kat took me to get my stitches out and now I have a scar like a superhero!" Ethan lifted his shirt to show off a jagged arc on his side.

"Mrs. Foster took us to a play day at school and we met some girls who will be in our summer class!" Sadie practically jumped with excitement. "And my new friend Ginny likes Pretty Ponies almost as much as I do and Kat said she can come over to play on Saturday so you can meet her and..." As much as he didn't care about Pretty Ponies, he suddenly wanted to get out of here, go upstairs, and just hang with the kids.

Luna clung to his neck and whispered in his ear. "I missed you. Mrs. Foster made me eat peas Ray! Can you tell her that I don't eat those?" He laughed. Just like Danny had said when they were a few hours from docking, coming home was an amazing feeling.

By the time he'd visited with all the kids, showered, and accompanied Danny to a debriefing with Chandler and Foster-Green it was 1700 and he still hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Kat. He followed Danny, Kara, and Halsey through the door from Chandler's inner office with a barely disguised grin. It was funny to see older people holding hands, especially knowing it was totally against the rules. Kara leaned in and whispered something to Green and he watched the back of the man's neck turn scarlet. "You two are so cute." Kat giggled from the other side of the doorway and Ray's shoulders tensed as the unwelcome sensation cold sweat springing out in the center of his back hit him. He still didn't know what he was going to say.

"Oh, well, uh," Danny stumbled over his words. "Commander, I will see you at 1800 for dinner." Danny dropped Kara's hand with a sigh. "Come on Diaz, next up you get to learn the joy of the debriefing paperwork, weapons log, and expense reports."

Kara nodded toward Kat who was gripping the side of the desk like it was the only thing keeping her tied to planet Earth. "Oh come on, let him relax a while. He can learn that stuff anytime. I don't think they've had a chance to catch up."

Kat opened her mouth to say something but he never found out what it was because Green shook his head. "No can do. I need this done so that I can talk with Val about a few things we need for Albuquerque before dinner with you. Sorry kids but I am still a newlywed and it's my right to be selfish about my limited time with my wife."

Kat glanced at him but he couldn't tell if she wanted him to make a case for a visit or was relieved that it would be put off. "Get out of here then." Chandler had come through the doorway behind them. "Because I hate to tell you but I expect we'll be working long into the night Green."

Sure enough, shortly after dinner Chandler collected the Greens, Granderson, Master Chief, and Burk and retreated to the courthouse. Mrs. Foster sat with him a while and filled him in on all the things she thought he should know from her two weeks as substitute parent. Apparently Gabe's mother had turned up and she wanted to have breakfast with Ray tomorrow before taking her son home to Georgia. Rena was taking the impending separation pretty hard and had been debating asking if she could go with them. The boys had gotten together 47 kids for their soccer club which would have its first meeting at the school next week. And the mayor had announced that St. Louis was going to trial an all ages work-study boarding school option for older kids without a parent or guardian and elders who needed assistance. They didn't expect to get it going for a while, but he had personally stopped by to tell Ray about it in case some of the older kids were interested in enrolling instead of going to Kansas with Vince and Debbie.

"Wow! A lot happened while I was gone!" It was hard to take it all in at once. So many new developments in their lives and in St. Louis. Had it really only been two weeks since Kat had ranted that he'd better get used to missing things?

Debbie reached over the table and took his hand in a gentle grip, her wrinkly knuckles warm and soft in his hand. "It does seem like a lot at first but that's because you are hearing about what happened to all the individuals of a large group all at once. You're doing great." He breathed a little easier. It just about crushed him to think of how soon he'd be gone again, and how long the next trip might be. He was truly glad to see the kids were doing just fine without him but his heart was breaking a little too. She continued, "Make no mistake about it, the kids certainly missed you. But in a way it worked out for the best because they had a short duration to get used to the idea. And they had Kat here of course. It would have been a lot harder on them if your first time away was when they just had me in Kansas." His gaze flew up to hers. Was she saying Kat wasn't going to Kansas? He hadn't asked her to go but he realized that in his mind, he'd been building a picture of her waiting there for him. That was assuming she wasn't pissed at him for Mobile. Now more eager to see her than ever, he thanked Debbie but excused himself, half of his dinner still uneaten. Things were worse than he thought.

Before he could even clear his place Chandler returned to the dining room and whispered something into the President's ear. The President grinned and stood up. "Given that I have the rare opportunity to be the bearer of good news, I can't keep it in! We just had an update from the Nathan James and they have been welcomed as heroes in Havana. Despite the immunes' activity in the Gulf a few short months ago, the contagious cure and the stories of the brave men and women of the Nathan James began spreading there last week!" There was a round of cheers. "Soon they will be in the Pacific, helping to spread the cure to the rest of the world!"

Chandler tipped his head to Green and the two of them edged off to a private booth to talk for a few minutes. Debbie leaned over and asked Kara, who had returned from the meeting much more subdued than Master Chief and Chandler. "Any idea what that's about?"

Kara sighed heavily and smoothed her shirt over her round belly. "The original plan was to wait for the Nathan James to clear Panama before heading over land but Michener and Chandler have decided they want to push on with the plans to get what they need from the lab facility in Albuquerque immediately. Plus there are complaints about fuel shortages up north that need to be investigated. The land teams leave at 0700 tomorrow."

Ray had been trying not to look like he was eavesdropping but he couldn't help but interrupt. "Both teams are going tomorrow?" He looked across the room where Kat's eyes were narrowed on Tex, her jaw clenched. Looked like the news was spreading fast.

Before Kara even had a chance to answer, Master Chief began calling out names. "I need these people in the conference room, ASAP!"


	35. Sharpen 35 - Can I Wash Your Clothes?

Just a reminder as we near the end of this story, that I have taken artistic licence and made Kat 17 years old.

**Can I Wash Your Clothes?, Victoria Spivey**

Kat finally found Ray alone in the laundry room around 2200. Two machines were running and he was bent over the wooden laundry table, sewing a label to the inside of a starchy new uniform. His feet were tapping along to the reggaeton music emanating from his phone. She felt like she had been stalking him ever since Danny surprised Kara in the office that morning, trying to get a moment alone. Although she'd been in the same space with him for hours, they hadn't even really said hi, never mind had the kind of reunion she'd been planning. But if it wasn't one of the kids taking his attention it was someone needing hers for the rushed preparations.

She'd heard about what happened in Mobile from Dylan and a little sliver of fear that he wouldn't feel the same way about her anymore, or worse, think she'd invited Rob's attention had held her back from reuniting in public. Even now her stomach churned at the idea of rehashing what had happened the last time she'd been in the laundry room. She almost turned and left before he noticed her. Watching him, oblivious to her presence, her relief that he was back safely and her grief that he was leaving again convinced her to step all the way into the room. She had to know if he still wanted her before he left tomorrow. "I didn't know you knew how to sew."

Ray's face lit up when he saw her and he set the shirt on the table. "I'm finally getting some use out of the sewing badge my mother made me do in Cub Scouts."

The swinging door whooshed closed behind her and she let go to wring her hands, partly out of nervousness and partly to stop her from just reaching out to him. "I hear Danny recommended you for one of the teams going tomorrow. Weren't you going to say goodbye?"

She caught a flicker of pain before he pasted on a cocky smile. "Of course I was, but not until tomorrow morning, right before we leave. That way you wouldn't waste tonight missing me, or yelling at me for being an idiot in Mobile." He looked up from under his brows to see her reaction and her heart began to pound harder. He thought she'd be mad?

She held out her hand but instead of rising and following her, he pulled her closer to the edge of the table. "Apparently I'm not as mature as I thought because I am kind of glad that he got his nose broken." She shrugged. "But I really don't want to talk about that tonight. I came here to tell you that if you're going to do this Navy thing, you need to learn the rules. A last minute kiss goodbye is not how you leave a girl behind. You're supposed to spend the night before reminding her of why she should pine for you to come back." She supposed his reaction to her words would tell her what he really thought about her now.

He studied her as a grin slowly crept across his face. "Oh yeah? Well, if that's the rule," He pushed back his chair and stood. "I don't want to be making trouble before my first day on the job." He turned her so she was standing with her back to the table and a nervous pressure bubbled up in her stomach. Given what had happened in this same laundry room a few weeks ago she shouldn't have been surprised to feel uneasy. But this was Ray and instead of feeling trapped she felt like he was standing between her and whatever might come at them through the door. So she gripped his shoulders and attempted to boost herself onto the edge of the table behind her. It didn't come out as graceful as she'd planned but Ray didn't seem to care, he just stepped closer and helped lift her. He wasn't that much taller than her so it continuously surprised her that he was so much stronger. She ended up sitting with her legs on either side of his hips. "How would you suggest I leave you with a good memory?" His face brushed against hers as he whispered in her ear over the noise of the washing machines.

"Well you could start with a few unforgettable kisses." She turned her face to capture his lips. Her eyes drifted shut and she pulled him toward the table as they kissed until he was pressed against her, her knees holding him in place. She still couldn't believe she had once thought kissing was kind of boring. She felt him smile against her lips and her own lips curved to match, almost involuntarily. And then they were kissing again.

In her mind, she knew he was only going with the Vice President's escort team and it was only supposed to be a short trip. But the days ahead, being here in St. Louis without him once again, looked bleak and lonely. What if something happened and she hadn't taken advantage of the time they had now? What if she missed her chance? If her encounter a few week ago had taught her anything, it was that things could change in the blink of an eye.

His hands were slowly running up and down her ribs, creating a thrilling tingle when his thumbs caressed the undersides of her breasts. Even through her clothing it was maddening. She wiggled closer to the edge of the table to press together more firmly. Ray mumbled something into her mouth but she was too preoccupied with the exquisite sensations of his lips and hands to register what he said.

She let her fingers slip under the hem of his thin tee shirt and was delighted when he shivered in response. She hadn't been bold enough to seek out his skin before. Her fingertips tingled as they skimmed over the bumps of his spine. She had been foolish to waste one precious second.

His lips drifted to her jaw line and she arched back a little, gasping when his thumbs slid up over her nipples. She hadn't realized she even liked that until now. The lame boyfriend she'd had before the Red Flu had tried feeling her up over her bra, but it had just made her feel irritated and bored. Now she couldn't help but urge Ray on. She wanted every second of it. When he shifted slightly and she felt the evidence of his arousal pressed against her, she surprised herself by moaning softly. She was well acquainted with her own body but she'd never had the urge to make sounds before. Then again she'd had no idea how good it would feel to have someone else's hands on her either. He closed his thumbs over her stiff peaks and she heard herself make a second involuntary gasp. Her face heated, but just then she didn't care. No one could hear her over the washing machines anyway. She twined her fingers in his recently shorn hair. She'd liked it better when it was longer, but still, the feel of the short strands against her palms delighted her.

The dryer chime sounded and Ray broke away, lifting his head. She took the opportunity to kiss the hollow of his neck, sucking in the skin lightly and tasting the saltiness there. "Kat." He smelled so wonderful, like coffee and laundry soap and just him. She kissed his collarbone right above the edge of his shirt and felt him surge against her. Hmm, so that was a sensitive spot? She tested her theory and discovered to her satisfaction that she was right.

"Kat." His voice was more strained but she ignored it, preferring instead to slip her hands from the planes of his back to his abs, working the tee shirt he wore up over heated skin as she did so. "Kathleen!" He caught her hands in his before she could slide up over his chest. "Stop! We need to stop." He brought her hands between them and stepped back a little. "This is definitely not the time and place for this."

She opened her eyes but it took a second to get her bearings again. The dryer rumbled to a stop and in the vacuum of sound all she could hear was their rushing breaths. "This is not the place." Ray let go of her hands as he repeated himself. Should she say what she was thinking? On the one hand, she knew logically that there was no hurry. He'd be back in a couple weeks and they could pick up where they left off then. But a little voice was urging her on. What if? She certainly wanted the first time to be with him, even if this little thing they had going didn't last. She'd already imagined it many times, almost assumed it would happen. And something about the rushed swearing in two weeks ago, the brand new uniforms, the mad dash to make sure there was a quiet moment with each one of the kids before he left again made her feel like it was now or never. And she didn't think she could accept never.

"Then where?" She slid her hands up to either side of his head, holding his gaze. "Where do you want to go?" She might as well make the offer clear.

Ray closed his eyes. "Are you serious?" He asked, eyes still closed, voice tight in his chest.

"Ray look at me." He opened his eyes. In the glaring fluorescent lights of the laundry room they were pitch black. "I'm dead serious."

He kissed the tip of her nose and rested his forehead on hers with a sigh. "But it should be nicer, you know. Like we should have a real date first. And be someplace pretty. And we should have lots of time to you know, spend all night."

"I don't need all that. I just want you." She wiggled against him. "And I can tell you want me so don't even try to deny it."

They leaned against each other for a minute while Ray thought about it. At least she hoped he was thinking about it. Maybe she had been wrong about his interest level. Anxiety returned to gnaw at her gut and she was ashamed to feel the hot prick of tears welling up. Fuck, this wasn't how she'd meant this to go. Get a hold of yourself! She drew in a deep breath, trying to focus on anything else while she waited for a response.

Finally his breath puffed out against her hair. "Yeah. Yeah I don't need all that either." He kissed her temple. "But I have to take this stuff and put it in my bag now and I'll have to get up ungodfully early to get the rest of these uniforms packed."

She nodded, a sudden bought of the butterflies stealing her voice. It was happening It was really happening. "Uh, I'll just uh, help you bring the laundry down then. They gathered the remaining clothes into the housekeeper's cart that she'd commandeered several weeks ago and hauled it to the elevator without talking much. Ever since the day he'd taken her to see the horses, if they were alone in the elevator Ray usually stole a few kisses, but this time they just stood there, both staring awkwardly anywhere but at each other. She was about to tell him that it was silly, they should just be themselves, when the car heaved to a stop and the door whooshed open leaving them staring at the long hallway. Although they were on a floor for civilians and families, they still kept quiet hours. Ray waved for her to go first and then pushed the cart behind her as she led the way down the hall. She stopped at her door, slipping her keycard in the lock and then turning to invite him in. When they locked eyes she felt the rush of blood to her cheeks. She hadn't given much thought to the logistics, but he couldn't exactly leave the cart in the hall outside her room for everyone to see. He reached out from where he was pushing the cart, glancing back the way they had come before slipping an arm around her waist and dropping a peck on her lips. "I'll just put this in my room, grab the last few things I have to pack, and come back. 10 minutes tops." He kissed her again and she felt some of the tension in her muscles slide away as excitement built in the pit of her stomach. He let go of the cart so he could wrap his other arm around her and she delighted in the feel of his hands roaming over her back. Soon she'd know what that felt like on her bare skin.

She had to clear her throat and still all she could manage was a hoarse whisper. "Go. I'll uh, clean up my room a little.." She pushed him away gently and fumbled with her keycard a second time as she watched him go down the hall. There were only 3 doors between their rooms, but it still looked very far.


	36. Sharpen 36 - Despacito

**Despacito, Luis Fonce and Daddy Yankee** I.e the real version, not the Bieber one.

She closed the door on her room and looked around. There was nothing to do really but wait. So she sat in the desk chair and pulled out her phone, checking it as something to dispel her nervous energy. She couldn't really concentrate enough to read it though and the only message she had was a picture of Bertrice and Mason standing in front of a colorful flower box in old town Havana. She was practically buzzing with anticipation and found she couldn't bear sitting still so she got up to pace. She couldn't believe she'd pushed them to this point. What if she didn't do it right and he didn't like it? What if she didn't like it?

Her gaze kept straying between the door and the digital clock. It was already almost 2300 and she knew Ray was supposed to meet with Burk's team at 0600 tomorrow. What if he realized it was terrible timing and changed his mind? She told herself not to take it personally. "There will be other chances." But she knew she would be terribly disappointed if he left without sharing this opportunity with her. He could be away for weeks and who knew who he'd meet on the road. She'd heard stories all her life about the wild adventures of young soldiers. And while she'd been trying to tell herself not to get unreasonable expectations, of course there was another voice in her head whispering "Ray is different." That might be true, but her rational side warned her that it was no guarantee. When her gaze landed on her toothbrush she was relieved to have something to do to keep herself busy.

She brushed for much longer than was necessary, making a mess of her face with the minty foam. She was just rinsing out her mouth when there was a soft knock at the door. In a panic, she swabbed her face with a washcloth, threw it on the counter and ran for the door. She opened it slowly, half standing behind it. "Can I come in?" Ray whispered, looking down the hall like he was afraid someone would questions why he was standing out there holding his new boots carrying his duffel.

She jumped to the side and opened the door wider. "Oh, uh yeah."

He stepped in and she shut the door while he set down his load and then toed off the Adidas sandals he wore around the hotel for slippers. Now what? She asked herself.

"You didn't have to dash out so quick that you didn't have time to turn the water off." He pointed toward where the water was still running in the bathroom sink. "I wasn't going to give up that easily."

Prickly heat crept down from her hairline. "Uh, yeah, well, uh.." Get it together! She admonished herself. As she stepped into the bathroom and turned off the water she tried to cover for her silly sense of panic. "I didn't want anyone to see you and interrupt. You know I was trying to talk to you all day but everyone else got to you first." She flipped off the light. That left them in the pitch black. Unsure of what to do, she turned it back on again. "Should I turn it off or on?" She wasn't used to feeling this tongue tied, but her pulse was drowning out her thoughts.

"Whatever makes you comfortable." Ray stepped forward into the splash of light that fell across the bedroom carpet. "You don't have to be so nervous. It's just me."

Kat met his gaze. He wasn't smiling but she could see amusement in his eyes. "I can't help it?" She offered as an excuse. She felt uncharacteristically shy so when he reached out a hand she gladly took it and stepped closer, letting the circle of his arms hide her face. She stared down at hos elbow, afraid to look up and see that he was laughing at her. "This is easier for you. You know what you're getting yourself into. I should confess, I haven't ever done this before."

Ray leaned back so that he could brush her hair off her shoulders and shrugged. "I know." He took her other hand so that he held both between them. "But don't think that it's easier to be me. I'm sweating bullets." She flicked her eyes up to meet his in surprise, glad now that there was enough dim light to see the vulnerability there.

"I'll try to follow directions then?" Unconsciously, she gripped his hands a little tighter. Ray shook with laughter. "What's so funny about that? I'm just trying to make this easier!" She gave him a little shove through their linked hands and he stepped backward toward the bed.

His voice was confident, his smile genuine, as he pulled her along with him. "Well, for one thing it's not like that. There's no following directions. And for another, when have you ever followed my lead on anything?" He arched a brow in challenge.

This she could work with. Nervous Ray put her on edge but this she knew exactly how to respond to. She drove him back a step farther until he stopped against the mattress. "You're right. But usually I know what I'm doing." She lowered her voice, feeling like as they stepped out of the beam of light from the bathroom they were retreating into someplace even more private, a space no one else would intrude upon.

He slid his hands up her arms, lightly skimming her flesh and bringing goosebumps of awareness to the surface. "How about I'll make suggestions about what I think will be good and you can correct me? You know, just like you do everyday." He looked through his dark lashes to see if she agreed. At her answering nod he cupped her cheeks and pulled her in for a long slow kiss. It was a relief to stop talking about it but his lips brought a new buzz to nerves already filled with a heady sense of exhilaration and promise. She was impatient, but she wanted to get the most out of every second, make the memory stick. "How am I doing so far?" His eyes were still closed, his lips poised over hers for another kiss.

"You brushed your teeth too. So far so good." She slid her hands around his waist and pressed closer to him, savoring the body heat seeping through their clothes. "I think we could go on to the next level."

Ray sat on the edge of the bed and she followed until she straddled his legs. She tried to stop her hands from shaking but couldn't help it so she choose to simply ignore it. His hands skirted the bottom of her shirt and she shivered, both from the slightly cool air fingering up her skin and the anticipation of his touch. She had a moment of second thoughts but when his hands smoothed over her back she sighed, almost involuntarily. "Jesus your hands are so warm!"

Ray smiled and pulled her in closer until she was sitting on his legs. "Believe me, all of me feels warm right now." His voice was strained in a way she hadn't heard before but deep down something in her responded to it. Rather than embarrass herself by replying with something corny about being hot, she kissed him. But even kissing had a new kind of electric energy to it now. His hands moved up her back until he was gripping her just under her bra strap and she felt the quiver of his fingers against the taut skin over her ribcage. She let her own hands wander and one slipped in his short shirt sleeve to knead his shoulder while the other was exploring the contours of his spine. The contrast in skin texture delighted her and the desire to explore more warred with the feel of his kisses. And since they were both wearing sweats, she was acutely aware of his arousal pressing against her. She began to feel impatient for him to touch her when she discovered that grinding against him was both satisfying and frustrating in turn.

She took advantage of his anchoring grasp to lean back and press into him and was shocked to hear herself groan in satisfaction as the new angle was just right. "Sorry." She mumbled, clapping a hand over her mouth.

But Ray just chuckled, gently gripping her to rock her torso ever so slowly against him. "Don't be sorry. I like to know what you like." He tilted her back again and ran a hand up her side, close to the bottom of her bra. "Want me to make you do it again?"

The earnest look of promise in his eyes charmed her completely. "Yes?"

His hand slid up over one breast and the heat of his palm seared into her. She sucked in a breath. Yes, she definitely wanted him to do that again. When he closed his thumb over her nipple she had to close her eyes and savor the sensation. "So far so good." She arched her back to press more fully into his hand. It felt so good that she rocked her hips against him shamelessly.

He slid his hands back to her waistline. "Can I take off your shirt then?" She would be half naked then but she wasn't sure she cared. She just wanted more of whatever he would give her. She nodded and tucked one arm in to pull it through her sleeve.

That was the moment when her elbow connected with his nose. "Ow!" He grabbed his face in shock.

Startled, she jumped back to her feet. But in her haste she tripped on the edge of the bed covers and lurched backward, landing hard on her ass. "Ow!" She looked up to see him holding his nose. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She panicked at the wounded glare he gave her. "I'm not usually such a clumsy idiot." Disappointment spiraled down to her gut like a lead weight. This was not going at all how she'd planned. She thought it would be like one of those movie scenes with the soft lighting and the crackling fire. No one ever laughed in those scenes.

But Ray laughed. "Well, I might have a black eye to explain tomorrow but it will be totally worth it." He reached out his other hand and pulled her back to her feet. "I've got a new suggestion but I don't know if you're going to like it."

She rubbed her bruised ass and asked warily, "What? Please don't say we shouldn't do this!"

He hugged her and rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "Do you really think I'd say that?" In her chest, her heart, already beating madly, did a curious flip-flop. "How about we stand safely apart to take off all our clothes and then get into the bed? Far less chance of injury that way." He stepped back leaving a cold void in his place.

Now that they'd interrupted their first mad dash a bit a mixture of relief and panic hit her right in the gut. Relief that he still wanted her warred with panic at being seen completely naked. "Ah.." A cold sweat suddenly tickled the back of her neck. This was just part of the process, right? She shouldn't be ashamed. Surely he knew he wasn't going to find some curvy pinup girl under her clothes. She sucked up her faltering courage. "Ok, but you have to go first."

Ray smiled. "We can take turns." At her nod, he grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled it over his head. Her fingers itched to reach out test the feel of his newly exposed skin but she turned them in on her palms. He dropped the shirt on the end of the bed. "Your turn."

She slipped her thumbs into the wide waistband of her yoga pants and shimmied them down her hips. Her long tee shirt hung to her upper thighs so when she looked up to check Ray's reaction and found him pursing his lips, one brow raised, she grinned. "Back to you."

"I don't think that's playing fair."

She just shrugged and pointed toward his pants with a confidence she didn't exactly feel. "Your turn." She watched as he slipped them over his ankles. She tried to tell herself that she had seen practically all of him before so it was really just the fact that it was all of him at once that made it weird, but that didn't dispel her sudden dry mouth. Like her, he was probably thinner than he ought to be, but there was no mistaking the protrusion in his undershorts or the damp mark in the fabric.

She swallowed hard. It was her turn again. She slipped her arms into her tee shirt before he had a chance to prompt her. She might as well appear brave even if she wasn't feeling it. Besides, she told herself, he'd already seen her in a bathing suit. As she lifted her shirt from the hem and over her head, the cotton jersey felt cool against her heated cheeks. But the fact that Ray burst out laughing didn't help her nervousness. She yanked it back down and scowled at him.

"I might not be done growing yet. Jeez, you don't have to laugh." This was such a bad idea. How had he convinced her for the last few months that he wasn't a complete asshole? Mortified, she turned her back and reached for her pants.

"Hey!" Ray stopped her with a hand on her shoulder and turned her toward him. "Every bit of you is beautiful, perfect even." He voice was rough and thick. "I shouldn't laugh. It's just all my fantasies recently have involved that hot pink bra you were wearing the day we learned to drive." He gently drew the tee shirt back over her head. Then he smoothed his hands over her shoulders and drew her close to kiss her gently. The heat of his body seared into hers through the thin fabric of their remaining underclothes and she was acutely aware that he still desired her. He pulled away slightly, raising a brow and it was hard not to grin back as she remembered him nearly shooting that cat. "Besides, I'm not here to be with your boobs. I'm here to be with you."

Relief, that she hadn't been letting herself get carried away with the wrong person, flooded her. She glanced down at her plain white cotton undergarments. She only had two sets of underwear and she'd chosen these because they were in better shape. Her voice sounded breathy to her own ears when she said, "Alright, next time I'll wear the pink one."

"Next time? That's promising." He began pulling back the bed covers and it occurred to her that he was just as nervous about getting naked as she was. But she did want to do this. So she reached behind her and began undoing her bra.

"We'll see how this goes, but yeah, customarily there's the goodbye and then the welcome home."

Ray froze, his gaze locked on her. And although she felt intensely self conscious, she liked the way he followed her every movement. She leaned forward and let the straps slide off her shoulders. As she pulled her bra the rest of the way off he let out a loud exhale. And somehow that was the thing that erased her nervousness. She knew he liked what he saw. And if it had been merely that, she might not have responded. But deep down, she also knew he wanted her for the right reasons. She suddenly felt a new wet heat flood her panties.

Ray fumbled with his own waistband. "Jesus Kathleen you are so beautiful." She wasn't sure what she'd expected a naked man to look like. In all her explorations before it had been dark or there were clothes in the way. And her ninth grade PE textbook had been significantly less arousing. The whole picture was… interesting. "Stop staring at me and do yours." Ray stepped a little closer. "Or do you need help?"

That got her attention. "I think I can manage." She hooked her thumbs in her panties and bent forward to shove them down. As she stood, stepping out of them, she considered that at least her bits weren't hanging out all over the place making everything obvious. On the other hand, her thighs instantly felt damp which would likewise give her excitement away soon enough.

Ray slid into the bed. "Come on, before you get cold."

She was shivering, but not with cold. Still she followed him and lay back on a pillow. "Good suggestion. Now what?"

"Now we try kissing again." He gathered her close and the new sensation of being skin to skin overwhelmed her senses with the heat and contrast in textures. Her breasts pressed into his chest and their legs slid past one another and in her mind, a dam broke. Any patience she had evaporated as the ache he had kindled earlier returned. She sucked at his lips, unable to get enough. This time when his palms slipped over her breasts she broke away and moaned with a complete lack of embarrassment.

"I really like your suggestions." She urged him on, arching her back and thrusting her breasts toward him. When he took one in his mouth her eyes rolled back into her head and she realized that the need she had felt earlier was nothing. She slid her hands down between them, finding and wrapping a hand around his shaft. His skin felt hot and dry as he surged against her.

"Cuidado mi cielito." He drew her hand away. "Trust me, better not to do that."

She resisted, a little confused. "But my old boyfriend always asked me to?"

Ray kissed her jawline. "Mmm, from what I've gathered he really didn't have my high standards for your overall experience." He threaded his fingers through the hand he'd extracted and rolled her further onto her back. "Don't you trust me?"

It was hard to think, let alone answer when his lips were on her pulse point like that but she managed to choke out "Of course." He returned to her beasts and she closed her eyes letting the sensations wash over her. "But I am impatient."

He slid a hand over her navel, making her muscles quiver. "Then you have to open your legs a little."

She hadn't realized she'd been clamping them shut, but she had, letting the pressure of her thighs substitute for what she really wanted. In the dim light she could see he was watching her which made her want to squirm. But she kept to her course, cautiously bending one knee and letting it fall away from the other. "Ok?"

Ray nodded and she could see he was swallowing hard. "Ok."

He slid his hand lower into her curls. As part of her process of screwing up the nerve to invite him she'd spent about an hour in the shower earlier this evening. She'd ended her debate on how much to shave by doing her usual bikini line, reasoning that she ought not raise expectations. Her eyes flicked to his face but he didn't seem to mind. Instead, his brows knit in intense concentration and he let out another shaky breath.

She shuddered in anticipation and he looked up. When their gaze met she saw that his nervousness had returned. His hand stilled on her lower abdomen. "You will tell me if it's not ok, right?"

She couldn't really find her voice just then so she nodded and pulled him down toward her for another kiss as her answer. Everything felt just right so how could he possibly worry? His breath gushed out and he stroked one finger along the slick seam of her folds and she practically panted. Just a tiny bit more pressure and…there! He was slipping his finger exactly where she wanted. "Yes, like that." As much as she tried, she couldn't keep her eyes open or her thoughts to herself. The ache she'd felt earlier was blossoming into an urgent pressure. This was what she'd been wanting all day and she wasn't willing to put up with any more interruptions.

"Eres tan mojado!" he murmured in a strained voice as he continued to stroke. She had no idea what that meant but she liked the note of awe and urgency in his voice.

She rocked her hips into his hand and his thumb slipped over her clit and she couldn't help but open and press herself into him more. "Now, come on Ray. It's only fair that you get to feel this way too." Ray shifted up on his elbows and she felt the loss of skin contact like a sudden emptiness. Her senses were acutely aware of everything going on and it was overwhelming. The soft swish of sheets, the scents of coffee and soap, and the heat seeping from his skin to hers warred for her attention. But at the same time she felt a little hazy on some of the details, sort of like being on the edge of sleep, when the details ceased to matter but the overall mood did.

He froze. "You're still ok with this?"

"Yeah." She panted and caught her breath a little at the sudden stop. "But I'm going to get cranky if you make me wait any longer." She nuzzled at the sensitive spot she'd found on his collarbone and was rewarded when he sucked in his breath. Anticipation was killing her and based on the tension in his body where their abs were pressed together, she was guessing him too. She was enjoying the feel of his fingers but she wanted more.

He let out a shaky breath as his cock brushed through her curls but he didn't press home yet and it was infuriatingly frustrating. She was sure she would cry if he changed his mind. "Ok, yeah..I just..." She could feel the way he was holding back but she didn't want to give him any more chances to waffle. With a slight shift of her hip she edged the tip of him in.

He felt hot, hotter than his fingers had and she groaned, grasping at his hips to pull him in deeper. "Fuck, Kathleen!" Ray swore. "Cuidate mi vida. I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm not that fragile." She gripped his ass cheeks and attempted to pull him closer again. "Besides, I really want to feel you. Don't you still want to?" She'd never imagined she'd be the one doing the urging and rushing.

Ray kissed her brow. 'Oye, te deseo mi tesoro." He kissed the tip of her nose. "Trust me. Slow is b…"

She found a grip with her feet and leveraged her hips up, feeling his gasp of surprise before her ears registered it. Her eyes shot wide. "Oh!"

"Me vuelves loco." Ray hissed. "Didn't anyone ever tell you patience is a virtue?" His eyes were intense and dark as he stared down at her.

Kat began to laugh despite herself and then stopped abruptly. "Oh, that is..ah... !" She slid her hips just a little bit. "It's ah, well, ah." She couldn't put it into words. She'd thought she had an idea what it would feel like. Certainly it couldn't be that different from her own fingers, could it? But oh, it was. She couldn't believe how different this was. It felt like every nerve in her body was alive and buzzing with pleasure, including some she'd never known she had.

Ray tried to pull back but she held on to his hips for all she was worth. "Is it ok?" He whispered and she canted her head back so she could actually see his face. His heavy brows were pinched together. "If it's not ok I can stop. Really, I...It will probably kill me but..."

"Shhh." She tested out rolling her hips a little and was rewarded with a delightful shock of pleasure. "Don't distract me."

Ray's breath hissed out between his teeth. "Solo por ti estoy sufriendo." He whispered again.

"Holy Cow. I didn't, I didn't know it would be quite like this." A pressure was building in her that she couldn't seem to stop and it could only be relieved by rocking her hips against him.

For his part, Ray seemed to be holding himself as still as possible. "But it is ok?" He ground out as he very cautiously stroked out and back in again. Part of her rejoiced in the notion she was affecting him as much as he was her while part of her cursed him for being so careful when she wanted to grind herself into him.

"Yeah, It's spectacular, in the most peculiar way." God she needed to stop talking but she just couldn't seem to maintain control over her brain or her body anymore. Her brain ran a mile a minute, taking in the new sensations, while her body tingled from head to foot. But her attention was 100% focused on her core where every nerve was clambering for contact. "But you're too stressed about this. Let go a little."

"Jesus Kathleen." Ray's voice cracked a little. "I don't have the kind of control you seem to think I do." He bent his head and nibbled the side of one breast and her back arched involuntarily to bring him closer to the peak. The need in her was winding tighter and tighter with every stroke and she was pretty sure it almost wasn't going to matter what he did from this point on anyway.

"Is that good or bad?" She could barely speak but when she felt Ray's laugh against her breast it thrilled her. Given that he was always worried about someone or something, she didn't think she'd ever heard him laugh so much in such a short time as tonight. "Actually, I don't care which it is, just don't stop that." She knew herself well enough to know that she was already close to coming.

She reached up and pulled his head back up to hers so they could kiss again. But she was too far gone and all she could manage was to moan against the sweet taste of his lips. He broke away from her, panting with effort, and she couldn't help it, she begged. "Please." She wanted to feel him moving in her forever, wanted to drive him to feel as out of control as she did, but she couldn't slow down.

He simply whispered, "Soon" against the her skin of her cheek.

The fingers they still had clasped together tightened and she wasn't sure if she was gripping him or if he was gripping her but she held on like a lifeline as each slick thrust urged her onward. Under her other fingers his skin was slick with sweat and the harsh sound of his breathing filled her ears.

Her brain whirled as her body tightened. She almost couldn't believe it was happening. This was Ray. Ray who made an ass of himself on an almost daily basis. Ray who made the kids carry three days of food, just in case. Ray who hung spoons on his nose to make little girls laugh. Ray who cared so deeply for a rag tag bunch of kids that he would give them every penny he had. Ray who shot the dog. Ray who kept her Dad from spilling his secrets when he was drunk. Ray who dropped everything and spent two days with Ethan in the hospital. Ray walked into a prison with practically no skills because someone had to do it. Her muscles fluttered as a precursor shudder shook her body. She felt him smile against her neck as he stroked ever so slightly faster and just like when they were kissing, she involuntarily smiled back. "Ray! Oh my God this is ammmmazzzing!" She flew apart into a million pieces on the realization that she must be totally head over heels in love with him. And that her timing sucked. And, as he stuttered a string of things she didn't understand into her neck and he came a few strokes later, that she probably had the power to make him stay if she wanted to use it.

The surge of pleasure in knowing that she had driven him to such abandon was unexpected. She'd thought a lot about the physical aspects of lovemaking, certainly she'd practiced by herself for years, but the power of the new intimacy between them shook her. She felt like she might cry just from the intensity of her emotions.

Instead, she squeezed her legs around him, reveling in the delicious pulses that were still sending electric shocks up her spine and sighed in pleasure as he lowered his body beside hers, rolling to pull her flush against him, still inside her. "You still worried about needing directions?"

"Shut up Ray, I'm not done enjoying you yet." She offered her lips for slow, deep kiss, at once relieved that he was still just Ray and also wondering if he was also suddenly struggling with a newfound clarity about just how hard it was going to be to be apart.

"I don't recover that fast." Contrary to his words, she was pretty sure she felt a twinge that most definitely did not come from herself.

She tucked her head beneath his chin. "Don't worry. I'm not done after-glowing yet." She squeezed her eyes shut afraid she might cry if he admitted that it hadn't affected him the way it had her. His heart thudded under her ear and for a minute she just depended on that to soothe her. At least she knew they were on the same page physically. But she wanted him to know there was more to it. "I didn't know it would be like this."

Ray kissed the crown of her hair sending a soft warm shiver down her spine. "For what it's worth, I apparently didn't know either."

Her heart clenched in her chest. "But you said you'd done it before?"

Ray pulled the blankets up behind her and tucked her in against him. "Yeah well that wasn't like this. I'm a little..ah..well, Dios Kathleen! It was hard enough before, but how am I supposed to leave again now?" His arms tightened around her as he said exactly what she was feeling.

She let his words sink in while she relaxed into the heat of his body. Sure at last that he felt the same, her breath left her with a sigh. "Yeah, well I'm not sorry about that."


	37. Chapter 37 - All The Way Home

**All The Way Home, Katey Laurel**

Four hours later a tiny beeping sound interrupted the most contented sleep Ray ever remembered. He wiggled over to the edge of the bed, trying not to disturb the mound of blankets and hair tucked into his shoulder that he assumed still contained his girlfriend. He skimmed his fingers over the night table to find his phone and shut it off. Despite all the noise and jostling she barely stirred. Apparently she could be exhausted after all. By the third round he'd begun to wonder who would give out first.

He carefully withdrew his arm and rubbed at his crusty eyes. He was never going to make it through the day if he was assigned an early watch duty. Maybe he ought to leave the phone off, pull the covers back up, and stay right here. He'd be kicked out of the Navy for sure, but he was an enterprising guy. Surely it would work out ok in the end. And if he got to stay here in St. Louis with Kat, it could be worth every second.

But when he attempted to close his eyes that little voice in his head that he never could shut up was there. Once upon a time that voice had been his mother's. But even now that it was all his own, somehow it still had the same power over him. Giving up with a sigh, he slipped out the other side of the bed. She rolled into the warm spot left in the pillows with a smile and he decided not to wake her until he really had to go. It took everything he had to step away and gather up all the clothes from the floor.

His stomach rolled with the hazy nausea of rising too early and he found himself standing in her shower before he had much chance to consider if she'd be offended that he was invading her private space. It only took a second to scrub his now shortened hair and he hurried through his soaping and tooth brushing so he could go back out where she was. Still, he stopped to open her shampoo and test if it smelled like her, which it did, and despite the fact that there was a warm something lacking that must be unique to Kat herself, he was tempted to take it with him.

He emerged five minutes later and threw on his new working uniform, complete with the boots he'd bought with the money Green had paid him for painting. Inspecting himself as he combed his hair, he decided that the blue camo pattern reminded him of getting a new soccer jersey every fall. Invariably you didn't like the color or design, but it still felt good to look like you belonged. He did have to bite back a laugh when his gaze made it to the ugly purple filling in around his eye socket. The night had been totally worth the souvenir.

His eyes immediately sought out Kat's sleeping form as they adjusted to the darkened room. She was completely covered in a jumble of sheets and blankets except for one gap that showcased a perfectly toned bare check. In his nervousness to be on time he'd gotten up too early and now he had half an hour to kill. He wanted nothing more than to slide back into that bed and smooth his hand over that curve and pay her back for the similar way she'd woken him up at two AM. But in his rushed shower he still hadn't figured out how to say goodbye so maybe it would be better not to wake her up at all. He wished he'd had the forethought to write her a note like he had for each of the kids or had time to get a present. He fought back the sting in his eyes before it could turn into tears. What would she think if she woke up and found him weeping like a kid on the first day of school? Maybe some coffee would help.

While the small pot heated he leaned over the tiny kitchen peninsula and doodled on the hotel notepad sitting by the phone. Still lacking a better idea he started to write a note. But when he tried to think of what to say he couldn't come up with the right words. He tore off "Dear Kathleen, I wish I didn't have to go" and threw it into the trash. By the time the pot was full it had been joined by "Dear Kathleen you are amazing."; "Dear Kathleen, I'll be back as soon as I can."; and "Dear Kathleen I can't wait until the day I come home." He tossed down the pen in disgust and filled his cup. If he'd had more time he could have asked the guys what they recommended putting in a love letter. Of course, Master Chief was probably just about the only guy he could imagine having experience with those. As he sipped his way through the first scalding hot cup idly sketched her sleeping form, still trying to figure out what wouldn't make him sound like a loser or a smug prick. Every time he looked up the pressure in his chest sucked in tighter.

A loud final gurgle from the coffeepot brought a moan out of the tangled blankets. "No, no, no!" She struggled to untangle herself and sit up. "What time…"

She saw him and paused. "Oh, hey." Her voice softened. "I thought maybe you'd gone without saying goodbye."

He grabbed another mug and began pouring. "Would that have been bad?"

"Yes! Of course! Well, except being mad might have kept me from being sad for a while, maybe." She pulled the sheets up to cover her front as he brought the coffee over. "And I am sure I look terrible." She attempted to finger comb a tangled mess off the side of her head. "My hair always goes wild over night and I am definitely not a morning person and…"

She was babbling, although whether her nerves stemmed from saying goodbye specifically or maybe how she felt after their night together he couldn't tell. He pressed the coffee into her hand as he sat beside her on the edge of the bed. "I like how your hair looks."

She eyed him suspiciously over the edge of the mug. After she sighed in satisfaction with the first sip she asked "You like crazy bed hair?"

"No, but I like knowing how it got that way." He took the mug from her hands and placed it on the table next to her phone. "But if you'd rather keep a nice orderly hairdo I suppose I can stay away from now on." As if the first thing he did next time they were in the same place at the same time wasn't going to be carry her off someplace alone so they could be together again.

She punched his arm. "Don't you dare!"

Her grin was all the invitation he needed. "Well, since you're awake now I think I ought to spend my remaining 12 minutes reminding you why you like your hair messed up too." He reached for her and pulled her into his lap. He loved the way she fit in his arms.

"As if I could forget." She snorted before capturing his face in her hands. "12 minutes is enough time for more than just kissing."

"Maybe, but not today, You're going to be sore already."

She shifted her thighs and he nearly groaned thinking about the way she'd responded to his touches there the night before. She tilted her head and took his hand, surprising him by kissing his palm and folding his fingers over it. "Thank you."

He smirked. "For thinking of your tender anatomy? What can I say? Now I'll be thinking about it all the time." He might just get out of there without breaking down if he kept her joking.

"No, for making it so nice." He stared at her in amazement. He didn't make it anything, they just were themselves, but together, and that was what had made it so nice. "Most girls say it's not very nice, at first, so I guess, I don't know, I just think I'm really glad it worked out."

In the dim light Kat's pupils had grown so large that they blended with the mossy green of her eyes. "You don't regret it then?" He held himself still, willing her to say no because otherwise, not only would his pride be crushed, but his hope that one day she'd be as hopelessly head over heels for him as he was for her would be too.

"No." She squeezed his arm. "My only regret is that now I'll know what I'm missing while you're gone."

"I've heard you know how to deal with that. At least you won't be sharing a room with Miller." They were both laughing when their lips met. The kiss was slow and fraught with pent up emotion, but he refused to let himself cry in front of her. He really did have to do this. He was the eighteen year old caretaker of fourteen kids with a GED. What did he have to offer her except the possibility that he might one day be able to make decent living if he got a jumpstart on it and worked really hard to impress the right people?

She hugged him tight, her face buried in his neck. "You better go."

"I know." But he made no move to separate them and they just sat there, in the half dark, wrapped together. The lump in his throat was back and he didn't have any idea what to say. Neither of them wanted to let go but he could already hear the sounds of excited chatter from the hallway.

"Will it be bad if I don't come to wave you off?" She absently kneaded the muscles at the base of his neck as she pressed kisses to his jaw between her words.

He sighed and pulled away, slipping her off his lap and wrapping the blankets around her. "No. It's probably for the best. I don't know how I'm going to stand watch never mind doing it without crying like a baby." He'd tried to hide the honesty in his statement by saying it flippantly.

"I promise not to cry in public you don't." She offered a handshake that reminded him of the day they'd visited the horses.

He slipped his fingers into hers. "Deal. But you have to promise to be smiling for me when I come home." The words were out before he realized that in doing so he was asking her for a commitment without outright coming out with it.

She smiled, even though it didn't reach the watery corners of her eyes, and pulled him close to lock lips again. "Well, I did already promise you a fashion show!" She didn't do any better than he did at covering up with a joke.

With one last quick kiss he let go of her hand. "Alright. Until then, Voy a sonar contigo." He didn't let himself look back until he'd had hefted his bag. She blew a kiss but then ducked her head.

He shut the door softly. When he turned he nearly bumped into Brie in the hallway. "Ray! I thought you left already? Is everything alright?"

He sighed. It probably was for the best that he not have any time alone between now and joining the crew or else he'd lose his resolve. "Fine, just saying goodbye."

"Oh good. So Kat is up? I want to get to PT extra early today."

He slapped an arm across the doorway. "No, no leave her be."

Brie's eyes went wide with alarm. "Oh no. Is she sick? Oh this is terrible timing with you going away. I'll just go see if she needs anything."

"Seriously, let her get her sleep and just check in after PT." He tugged on of her braids. "How about you walk me down to the lobby?"

Satisfied that he'd bought Kat as much time as he could, he forced one foot in front of the other as he walked with Brie down the hall.


	38. Chapter 38 - Pirate Days

**Pirate Days, Mary Chapin Carpenter**

Vince stomped his feet to kick off the snow onto the faded doormat and hurried to the corner woodbox to deposit his heavy load. He'd skipped setting a fire for the last two nights to avoid drawing attention to his presence, but now that he'd had time to check out the surrounding area he'd become confident that even though the territory was officially MCF, he wouldn't be bothered here. He squinted at his watch in the dim light that filtered through the faded muslin curtains. There was just enough time to make a fire. He crumpled some newspapers and laid on a few sticks for kindling, looking forward to the light and heat.

Vince wondered if Danny, the quintessential Connecticut-New Yorker, really understood the contrast between his upbringing and Kara's. The rambling farm house consisted of several additions built around an older one bedroom home. The furnishings mostly dated from the 70's and 80's which suited him just fine. They weren't going to want a bunch of fancy stuff with so many kids here anyway. Despite being old, Debbie had left the place spotlessly clean. There were three barns packed with farm equipment surrounding a gravel yard, a space for a kitchen garden out back, and even a rickety treehouse and swing for the younger kids. But although the farm was exactly how Debbie had described it, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was slightly out of place.

He started up the propane cooktop in the kitchen and set Debbie's old coffee percolator over the flame. He hadn't checked in with the bossman since reporting that Danny had arrived back in St. Louis safe and sound after escorting the President through the midwest. Now it was time to find out if he had a new assignment waiting. Pulling a ruggedized laptop from a neoprene case, he set it on the large dining table. A single placemat, set at the seat closest to the kitchen door, gave him pause as he considered how many years Debbie Foster had eaten here alone. An old desktop computer was crowded into the corner of the dining room with a box of yellowing plastic for a monitor and a cable that Vince suspected connected to a dial up connection disappearing into a tiny hole in the floor. Like the computer, everything about her life here seemed static and out of date.

The percolator gurgled and he filled a mug while his computer booted. For a few minutes he alternated between doctoring his coffee and the multitude of startup screens and password processes he had to traverse to get access to his secure satellite link. Clearing the last screen, he settled into a scarred wooden chair to see what messages awaited him. He sipped his coffee as the device searched to make the connection.

A little gray message box popped up. "Unable to establish secure link."

"Agg, come on baby, you were working fine a month ago!" He backed out and gave the command to link again. He swore and set down his coffee when the second little gray box told him it could not link. After 15 failures and several checks of his system settings he was out of coffee and sure something was wrong. His machine thought it was sending messages but it couldn't see the satellite that the timetable he'd nicked from Val's desk insisted was there. Maybe the snow was blocking the signal? No, that was stupid. This thing was designed to operate under three layers of canopy. He'd connected from all over the world.

Frustrated, he shut down the computer and sat quietly, considering the possibilities. Signal jamming? No, there was no power and it wasn't like this was a covert camp in the Mongolian plains. He was in Kansas for goodness sakes. Interference of some kind? Again, there was no power. The computer finished its shutdown routines and there was a new quiet as the hard drive stopped spinning. He sipped his second cup of coffee and listened to the fire pop and crackle. As he stared into the flames he realized there was another faint sound, a hum he couldn't quite place.

He pushed away from the table and rummaged in his knapsack for a small flashlight. Then he stood in the doorway and closed his eyes, listening carefully. It sounded like a small fan or water flow, just a gentle shushing that was barely perceptible. With the normal sounds of a household it would never be noticed. He backed out into the kitchen but couldn't hear it there; a few steps into the living room and it was drowned out by the fire. He began a slow circle around the table and found it was loudest in the corner with the computer. God that thing was ancient.

Thirty minutes later he was sitting under the desk, the drawers spread out on the floor around him. He had practically dismantled it but he still didn't know what was making the sound. Now he did know that Debbie Foster was meticulously organized. He'd found pocket calendars filled with neatly written appointments going back almost 50 years in perfect chronological order, along with programs from every school event, feed contracts, and menus for Christmas dinners past. The last few were just sad descriptions of takeout plans.

Maybe he was losing it? He snorted. Losing his hearing was more like it. He was too old to be climbing on the floor, peaking under furniture, and rifling through people's drawers. He listened carefully to see if both his ears were affected and realized that yes, they were, but one could hear it slightly better. Ok, so not losing his hearing, his eyes traveled around the desk once more. He's already eliminated the computer but he put his ear to it again, just in case. He was sure the sound wasn't coming from there. It wasn't even plugged in. Actually the only cable connected to the back was the shiny gray USB cable that disappeared into the basement. The basement! He put his ear to the floor. That was it all right!

With a longing look at the fire he heaved himself to his feet. It looked like he was going exploring again. A doorway in the kitchen led to very steep and narrow stairs which he descended careful to hold the railing in the darkness. There wasn't enough afternoon light coming through the small ground level windows to show much more than the faint outline of the washing machine. He'd taken a quick look earlier but other than a bunch of old junk, he didn't remember anything remarkable. This time he navigated the stacks of boxes and an old tool bench to get to the corner under the computer. But, when he pointed the flashlight at the floor joists above there was no cable coming down. He walked along the wall looking more carefully but he couldn't find it. Confused, he began to run the flashlight along the surface of the wall. A small reflection caught his eye and he paused, stepping closer to examine it. Through the seems of the wood wall panels he could see something metallic. He felt around the wall and realized there was a little give to it so he pushed. He was rewarded with a soft scrape of metal on metal as a spring catch gave way and a large section of wall panel opened.

"Well I'll be damned." He'd known Butch Foster in the last few years before their mutual retirements so he shouldn't have been surprised by the impressive collection of weapons carefully stored in the man's basement, but he still spent several minutes marveling over a few of the custom built pieces. Butch might have been a little paranoid, but he had excellent taste. A quick inspection revealed not only locked drawers of ammunition, food, water, and other survival supplies, but also the source of the noise. The computer cable he'd seen above ran to an ordinary looking wifi router but that in turn was connected to a large panel on the wall. He found a screwdriver on the old tool bench and carefully removed the outer cover of the panel. The whirring sound he'd heard before was significantly louder now that he'd stripped away all the layers. As he'd begun to suspect, the interior housed an impressive PC. He recognized most of the standard components but there were a few he couldn't identify. The card that contained the port connected to the computer upstairs was one notable mystery part.

The cooling fans were running but there was no obvious power supply. He closed his eyes and tried to recall if he had seen any solar panels or other charging sources outside. Whatever it was, he could figure it out in the morning. For now he just wanted to get his message out. He carefully disconnected the incoming power ribbon from the main board. The fan slowed immediately. After closing everything up he stomped back up to the dining room, glad to emerge from the musty basement, but looking forward to returning during the day tomorrow to get to know Butch's collection a little better.

He put the percolator back on and started his computer up again. This time he was able to make the connection with no problem, although Val's notebook informed him that he only had about 10 minutes left to work with or he'd have to wait 26 hours for the next fly over. The only message he had received in the last month asked for a status update so he pecked his message out as quickly as he could.

"The contagious cure spreading CONUS. It is real and it works. Michener needs intel on the MCF and senators. Can you help? Do we have assets inside the MCF or US I can trust? I'm willing to take on work in exchange. Can I reveal DGPacManN00 to JR and need-to-know?" He closed up his computer after that. He'd have to wait until tomorrow's flyover for the reply.

By the next evening he had discovered that the windmill used to pump water into animal troughs was also the power source for the signal jammer. He'd found a second stash of survival gear in one of the barns. And he was currently cleaning and prepping a beautiful Browning A-5 in the hopes of having meat for dinner the next day. He smoothed a cloth over the walnut stock as his computer booted. Sure enough, the connection went through easy as pie. There was a message waiting from the bossman. "Cure received in AK via CAN three days ago. Photos of two active agents attached." He fumed over the fact that the damn selfish bastard hadn't bothered to even answer his last question while the photos decrypted.

Vince patiently rubbed oil into the barrel of the gun while he waited for the photos to finish processing. But he nearly dropped it when the first one started to coalesce on the screen. It was the commissioning picture of a young officer, pins gleaming, back ramrod straight. He'd seen that very same picture on the top of a neatly rubberbanded stack in Debbie's desk drawer yesterday. The second picture made him laugh out loud. "Private contractor my ass!" he muttered a a very familiar grizzled face appeared. Well, well. He'd been wondering who Tex worked for a while now.

This is the end of part 5 of the Seven Habits series. I'll be back sometime after the end of season 4 with part 6, titled Seek First to Understand. I'm editing it now but I need some time to enjoy the new episodes and percolate on the new happenings so there will be brief hiatus in the saga. In the meantime, I'll be posting a shorter story to introduce an original character who will appear in parts 6 and 7 of the story. Thank you all for reading and for the kind comments I have received. I really love this show and it is so rewarding share that love with such a great community.

-Tess


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